You have a dilemma: You really want to watch the USA-Germany World Cup showdown Thursday afternoon, but that pesky job of yours keeps insisting you actually show up for work every day.
If you don't work for a company that has televisions set up for your viewing pleasure (or if one more fake sick day will put you on the unemployment line), there are some streaming options for the game, which starts at noon ET on ESPN. The meeting with Germany is huge, because a win or tie will mean the Americans advance to the knockout round out of Group G, nicknamed the "Group of Death" because of the talented teams in it.
If just monitoring reaction on social media isn't enough for you, here are some strategies for not missing the match:
1. Do it the easy way.
The simplest way to stream USA-Germany over your computer or tablet is by going to WatchESPN, but you have to have a cable subscription. Also, Comcast has made every World Cup match available in Spanish via Instant on Demand through Xfinity TV and has broadcasts in several languages through Xfinity TV microsites. Then you can just plug your headphones into the computer, set up that Excel spreadsheet that you're not really going to work on, and then toggle back and forth according to how loud the boss's footsteps are. If you can't be caught watching the game on a screen, the broadcast is also on ESPN Radio, or you could stream the audio through your phone or tablet using the ESPN Radio app.
2. Go mobile.
If you're not near a TV, or streaming over your desktop at work is too risky, you can stream the TV broadcast on your mobile device by using the WatchESPN app or, for Comcast subscribers, the XFinity TV Go app. Once again, you have to have a cable subscription. Furrow your brow periodically and pretend you just got an important message on your phone to conceal the fact that you're really just watching the game. (If there a lot of half-hour bathroom breaks happen in your workplace Thursday, now you know why.)
3. Learn Spanish.
If you don't have a cable subscription, there is another option: Univision is streaming the game for free. Univision also has a mobile app, Univision Deportes. The downside (for English-only speakers) is that the broadcast is in Spanish. The upside is that it will sound way more awesome when the U.S. scores and the animated Spanish announcers belt out "Gooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaal!!!!!"
4. Go renegade.
BBC Sports has a live stream that doesn't require a cable subscription, but it blocks any IP address coming from the United States. However, there is a way around it: Programs like TunnelBear and Hola allow viewers to circumvent the obstacle by using a third-party service. God bless the Internet.
5. Take your chances.
You can give a service like FirstRowSports a shot, but the streams could be glitchy and you might click on something that has adware bombarding your computer. It's not highly recommended, but for those who are desperate....
Assuming you can avoid social media as well all human contact throughout the day, you can always just DVR the match to enjoy when you get home. But before you leave work for the day, you'll hear Bill at his cubicle in Sector G chanting "U-S-A! U-S-A! We did it!" Then you'll sigh and delete it off the DVR when you get home.
Bill is the worst.