Aug. 21, 2012 at 10:39 AM ET
One day you and every other parent on the planet will experience the phenomenon known as discoolification.
DISCOOLIFICATION: (dis-KOOL-iff-uh-KAY-shun) noun: A parent’s gradual transformation from being their kid’s hero to being their kid’ s greatest source of embarrassment.
Discoolification happens. It typically strikes when your kids are between 12 and 15 years old. It’s a coming of age of sorts. They are starting to feel older. Which gets them to thinking that you’re beyond older and bordering on ancient. And demented. And stupid. And as such they feel it would be best for everyone if you were neither seen nor heard until they have some need for your assistance. (Read: Need money)
You’ll be able to identify with the fact that you’ve reached discoolification when, per your child’s instruction, you are no longer allowed to:
If you are starting to experience these sorts of kid-imposed embargoes then you are well on your way to being discoolified.
Rumor has it that after a decade or so they’ll come back and really be quite pleasant again. It’s hard to fathom, but it happens. So let that thought comfort you. And take it as a cue to take care of yourself and live a long and healthy life. That way you’ll be around to watch this exact same thing happen to them. Nobody’s cool forever.
Eric Ruhalter is the author of the humorous gift book for parents: “The Kid Dictionary: Hilarious Words to Describe the Indescribable Things Kids Do.” Watch the funny book trailers looking inside the book at http://www.thekiddictionary.com
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