Moms

25 things not to say to mothers with postpartum depression

Sep. 30, 2010 at 12:22 PM ET

Katherine StoneBlogHer.comPostpartum ProgressArwyn at Raising My Boychick whose list focused on parental judgmentKristen at Birthing Beautiful Ideas whose list focused on pregnancy and childbirth

2. Women have been having babies for tens of thousands of years, and they got through new motherhood just fine. Toughen up.

3. Yeah, I had a few bad days there after my baby was born. I know what you're going through. Or ... I just finished my [album/thesis/marathon/political campaign]. I know how you feel.

4. Maybe postpartum depression is God's way of letting you know you don't have enough faith. I think you should pray harder.

5. Stop making this about you. This is about the baby. You should be thinking about him/her rather than yourself.

6. Quitting breastfeeding is selfish. The baby's health is so much more important than yours.

7. I know breastfeeding is really important to you, but you have to quit so you can be treated for PPD.

8. This is the exact medication and dosage I took for my PPD. Just take that and you'll be OK.

9. I would never take antidepressants. You shouldn't need that stuff to be a mother.

10. You're just mad the baby is getting all the attention.

11. PPD is just a fad. Only spoiled, Western women get it, and now that it's "popular" on the blogs, everyone is jumping on the bandwagon.

12. Can't you see how lucky you are? You have a beautiful baby! You should be grateful.

13. This will probably go away on it's own, so don't worry about it.

14. I wouldn't talk about this with anyone. You don't want them to think you're crazy.

15. You don't need to worry about your symptoms unless you're having thoughts of harming your baby.

16. You're just using postpartum depression as an excuse to get out of the hard work of being a mom.

17. Once you go back to work you'll probably feel fine.

18. Why can't you just talk yourself out of this? I don't think you're trying hard enough.

19. Do we need to take your child away from you?

20. If you would just try _______ (fill in the blank) parenting style I think everything would be okay.

21. You have [a supportive partner/wonderful home/great family/good job/food on the table/healthy baby]. You should be happy.

22. All of this crying is bad for your baby, you know.

23. We all have days where we don't want to get out of bed.

24. Did you think motherhood was going to be easy? What did you expect?

25. Postpartum depression isn't real. Women who have perinatal mood and anxiety disorders didn't do anything to cause them, and require medical help to recover from them. They deserve nothing but patience, love and support. Period. Have you ever heard one of these lines? Or something worse? Share it here.

Katherine Stone at Postpartum Progress @postpartumprogrReaching more than 20 million women each month, BlogHer is the leading participatory news, entertainment and information network for women online with a publishing network of more than 2,500 blogs. BlogHer adds unique voices of women bloggers to the TODAY community. Read more at www.blogher.com -- and sign up for our newsletters to get the best of BlogHer in your inbox.
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