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Five-link Friday: Raving Bonkers Fighting Robots
No movie and TV clichés in Five-link Friday, no, not at all. Or something. Remember, you too can send in your favorite site for a possible Five-link Friday mention. And if you want more links, my pal and co-worker Will Femia puts me to shame with his zillion-click everyday, otherwise known as Clicked.
• I've seen plenty of American lists of top toys from our childhoods, but I don't think I've seen a British list before. includes plenty of items that will be familiar to Americans (Rubik's Cube, Shrinky Dinks) as well as quite a few that could only play in the UK (Subbuteo, a tabletop soccer game). You'll enjoy the comments, especially this, from a description of #61, Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots: "The Americans sure knew how to name toys. We, to be honest, didn’t. So, while this boxing automaton chestnut went under one of the best names for any game, or indeed any thing, ever, in the States, the rather rarer British version was renamed... Raving Bonkers Fighting Robots." (Apparently, .) Via my awesome pals at .
• Aw, this is sweet. Someone has scanned in, with all their charm and personality. Click on the different images to see enlargements of the recipe cards.
• . Because one cannot fake the funk. If you can't understand half the words here, even after Clinton offers his definition, you're not alone.
• Love clowns? Uh, you'd best move on to another site, then. Hate clowns? You may enjoy via the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey site. Heh, at least they have a sense of humor about the creepiness of clowns.
• Fascinatingly obsessive can describe most of the personal Web sites out there, but especially this one. It's a . Gets very chilling in 1994, leading up to Kurt Cobain's suicide.
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Will the clichés never end?
OK, "CSI," we're giving you a break. For now. Because we really don't need to concentrate solely on the TV clichés you bring us when there's a whole world of TV and film out there going wanting.
Gifts…“Whenever there is a gift-giving occasion on TV especially, the top and bottom of the gift box are always wrapped separately, so that the recipient only has to lift off the perfectly wrapped top, with the bow and ribbon intact, to get to the gift inside. Nobody wraps presents like that in real life, and more importantly, most people like to rip the paper and ribbon off in shreds. That's half the fun.” --Kim
Survivor…“I have a pet peeve: On Survivor, he ALWAYS "goes and tallies the votes." I used to work in the election polls (before computers), and we tallied the votes by counting...that is putting a hash mark (tally) at the item that is being counted. Hasn't ANYONE ever corrected him?!” --Luanne
Goons“I would like to know where the movie villains hire their goons. They are extremely loyal and even if the hero singlehandedly takes out a dozen of them, they keep coming. Sorry, but if the guy in front of me is shot, then I am gone.” --Jo
Rock the car...“The worst car cliche is when you get a frontal shot of a person driving and they are constanly rocking the steering wheel left to right as they drive in a perfectly straight line. It especially happens a lot in soap operas.” --Rashia
Knock three times...“In movies and tv shows, whenever a character rings the doorbell the person on the other side IMMEDIATELY opens the door, even if it is 2 in the morning or he/she lives in a mansion. It's like the person is standing at the door waiting for someone to ring the bell. “ --Priya
Taxi!“I just wanted to add one point to all of this, what about in New York movie or TV show people never have trouble hailing a taxi cab even when it is raining. I mean come on, I am a native New Yorker and catching a cab in Manhattan isn't ever that easy.” --Joyce
Timers…“The "one second left" cliche reminded me of the Timer Cliche: There's 30 seconds left on the timer, but in actual "real-life" time that's going to be at least 5 minutes, unless, of course, that timer is for something that will Hurt the Bad Guy - then the timer will be right on time!” --Chelsea
“And 'they' always know EXACTLY which wire to cut-the blue or the red one! In Lethal Weapon, Gibson & Glover ALWAYS guessed correct! And it's always one second before.” --Diane
“Regarding the cliche about bombs and timers stopping with one second left, there's a notable exception to this. In the movie, "Goldfinger," James Bonds stops the bomb from detonating with seven seconds left to go. Why? Because the counter now reads, "007." (That's a great trivia question, by the way -- people probably don't know it, but it can been logically worked out.)” --Bruce
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The crime-show clichés continue
More than a few of you agreed with Monday’s entry, that perhaps “CSI” and shows of that ilk lean a bit heavily on the clichés. I promise, we won’t go on and on about clichés forever, but I think maybe a couple of more entries are required. Today, a few more about “CSI,” tomorrow, the world. Or thereabouts…
And just a note: Here’s what I don’t get. Why are some people so offended by the suggestion that a show or movie might not be perfect? Because you know it, I received more than one note whining “It’s just a movie! Get a life! Don’t watch it if you don’t like it!”
Do these people never play Monday-morning quarterback or backseat driver? Do they not think entertainment can strive to improve? Do they have no sense of humor at all? I imagine them sitting at home gnashing their teeth, snarling “those…people…are having FUN discussing how a show might have goofed up…how DARE they?”
I mean, I was a huge “Mystery Science Theater” fan. I love the theme-song lyric that says “If you’re wondering how he eats and breathes, and other science facts…Repeat to yourself ‘it’s just a show, I should really just relax’.” But it seems to me that the folks who aren’t relaxed are the ones who need to tell others to “get a life.”
Humming along“I can't remember the last time, or even the first time the city of Chicago, or any other city for that matter, authorized the purchase of Hummers that start out at $50,000 for a CSI unit. What's that?” --Dome
Did you know…“Here's something on CSI that drives me crazy, (it's not a cliché yet because it only seems to happen on CSI); The team is processing a crime scene. One of the characters feels the need to say something out loud that the rest of the team must already know by now, (ex: fingerprints show up better in the cold, blood dries within 30 minutes, a person can only survive without oxygen for 4 minutes). Aren't they all trained to work in the same field?” --Joe
All in a day“I'm wondering how it is these CSI teams never have a backlog? Every case they get, the can analyze - to full conclusive results -- everything they see usually within the same day?? And are we to believe that the CSI folks are the head of every investigation? They peform all interviews, interrogations, actually make the arrests, and boss every other cop around? They also go on raids, give families the news about their deceased, etc... It's a little hard to swallow.” --Sean
One-stop shopping“My pet peeve with CSI is: Where are the detectives? While the CSI team is already investigating the crime scene, they also have to track down, locate, interrogate, and arrest the perpetrator? (Do the detectives on Law & Order know that they're obsolete?)” --Jane
What a coincidence!
“What always fascinates me about any crime scene show is that one person out of the small group always knows some mega-important yet otherwise elusive detail that will break the case wide open. Case in point, on CSI:NY the main female investigator just happens to have taken dancing courses and just happens to know the particular movements of a particular studio. Or a detective just ate at the restaurant where the next suspect works which is just a few blocks from the victim's apartment . . . Wow.” --Jennifer
Ready, aim…“CSI should know that no handloaded ammunition has ever been used in a major crime in the 135 years of handloading.. Revolvers do not have a "safety" ...removing or inserting the "magazine" does not put a round/bullet in the barrel to fire the gun, you have to pull back the slide.. 55 gallon barrels and mailboxes do not stop bullets” --D
Tomorrow: We give CSI a break and feature other clichés
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CSI, your clichés are showing
Movie and TV cliches aren’t going to replace best and worst commercials as the official favorite topic of Test Pattern, but they remain popular. It seems that certain subjects stand out most as being cliché-ridden. The phone. Guns. Cars and driving. And, of course, and its ilk come in for more than their share of cliché-spotting. (The flashlight-vs. light switch discussion, apparently, will never die.)
Here’s some more of your mail on that subject.
CSI and friends…“I hate when everyone on the CSI teams knows how to do everything. Each person seems to know how to do DNA, fingerprints, paper reconstruction, chemical analysis, bomb manufacture, automobile assembly, water origination, fiber analysis, tobacco identification, tire patterns and even forensic pathology. Jeez! Who could believe it?” --Darlene
“Here's something my friends and I bet on (actually we down a beer after every utterance)... How many times is the word "hey" uttered, muttered, suggested, or otherwise spoken during the course of an episode of CSI: Miami. I think the record stands at 9. Could be wrong however, since I have not seen every episode. Sometimes there's a "hey" followed with a "hey" reply which requires a double dose of suds. Now that's a "hey" moment worth waiting for! Hey!” --Thomas
“I hate ANY cop show where they show the female investigators running after perps or searching an abandoned warehouse in HIGH HEELS!!! I work in law enforcement and this drives me absolutely nuts-DOn't these shows have "consultants" (i.e. REAL female officers) to set them straight?? (For example- I loved the show "Boomtown" never, ever missed it- then for some reason they added Vanessa Williams to the cast and next thing you know her character is searching a STORM SEWER in high heel sandals and white pants!!! I never watched the show again after that...)” --Molly
“I just gotta say that some of these movie and TV show cliches actually help a show move along. If everytime they needed to find someone's info in the computer it involved a real-time search, we'd be spending a lot of time watching Gil Grissom in front of a computer. Bye bye plot.” --Brooke
“You’re missing a key point about flashlights vs room lights. A flashlight casts shadows; a room light usually minimizes them. Last night I dropped a miniscule screw as I was changing a watch battery. Using regular room lighting, I couldn't see the screw on the floor. By using a flashlight shining across the floor, I saw the shadow (as well as the shadow of a number of other small pieces of dust and dirt). Because the floor was close in color to the screw, when I removed the light, I couldn't see the screw, even though I was looking straight at it. On CSI, they're looking for small clues -- I guess their use of a flashlight always made sense to me.” --Mike
The phone…
“[quote]You know the scene: It happens in every TV show and movie. Someone hangs up the phone, and the other person, now holding an empty line, hears a dial tone. Try it! Call someone and ask them to hang up. You won't hear a dial tone. I guess that's how you know you're not in a movie.[end quote] The reason it doesn't work for you in real life is that you're not calling a "555" telephone number (formerly a "KL-5" number). As the kid in Last Action Hero pointed out, all movie phone numbers are in the enormous 555 exchange. Maybe with *those* numbers, you can hear a dial tone when the other party hangs up.” --GL
“I would like to share two annoying cliches that constantly crop up on TV and often in movies. The first is the ploy of keeping the bad guy on the phone long enough to trace the call. What? Law enforcement doesn't have caller ID yet?” --Runar
“Why does no-one ever say goodbye when they hang up the phone? I find it terrible bad manners! Or if they are setting up a date, no-one ever goes through the when and wheres'! It is just "OK, see you on Friday? WHERE? WHAT TIME?” --Katey
“My pet peeve is answering machines. The phone rings and the caller is immediately leaving a message. No "We are unavailable, please leave a message." Also, don't most people by now have voicemail?” --Amanda
Guns…“One thing that always amuses me about a lot of movies is that they don't seem capable of counting shots. From a cowboy's six shooter firing off fourteen shots, after being in a firefight already WITHOUT a pause for reloading (The Mummy), to any cop or buddy movie where the cop has a semi-automatic and an endless clip... I wonder if the military has ever thought of buying those guns and saving on ordnance? Weird Al Yankovic's movie UHF, even made fun of another cliche, that of a villain spraying a machine gun at the hero, even at point blank range, and not even being able to graze said hero.” --Lynda
“This one happens mostly in gangster movies, but I have to laugh when any one of the characters shoots/points their gun sideways. Come on, tough guy! Think about it-do the bullets travel faster when the gun is to the side? Do they inflict more pain that way?? Highly doubtful.” --Gretchen[Editor's Note: Did this start with "Charlie's Angels," and now people do it because they think it looks cool? That's my theory.]
Cars..“One of the best movie clichés is the always present squealing of tires even when the car is on a dirt road...’Dukes of Hazzard’ your slip is showing.” --Sam
“ A cliche in movies and TV shows is the ever-present convenient parking space. In Albert Brooks' "Lost in America" the lead characters park their over-sized Recreational Vehicle at a parking space, directly in front of the building that they're visiting, in midtown Manhattan, in the middle of a business day.” --Matthew
“My friend's absolute most-hated film cliche (and I have to agree with him on this one) is how whenever there is a truck on screen, it's honking its horn to display the magnificents of the dopplar effect. Even if the truck is just driving by, alone on the road! Hoonk-HOOOoooooonk! Are truck drivers really that bored?” --Jason
“My latest pet peeve is the fact that no one stops to pay the cashier to leave the parking garage, or even to let the gate go up (in case they have monthly passes). A recent rerun of Alias drove the point home - After Sidney was attacked by two men, her father picked her up, and they just drove on out unhindered. In what city are parking garages free and open to the public?” --Gretchen
“Nobody seems to have mentioned my favorite cliche of all. Automobiles that are used in movies and TV must be the most fragile machines ever created. If a car or truck in a movie / TV show is impacted harder than a cat landing on its hood, the car will, for some unknown reason, explode in a huge fireball. If this were realistic, how many smoking, burnt out hulks would we pass each day during rush hour on the way home from work?” --Pat
“Another movie cliche.....Why is it that when anyone is being chased they have to run right down the middle of the street? And of course, the bad guys' car is right behind them. Wouldn't it make more sense if they ran down the sidewalk?” --Shar