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Test Pattern: Blogging ‘Apprentice’ finale

Minute-by-minute updates from the big show. By Gael Fashingbauer Cooper

Blogging ‘Apprentice’ finale

Want to follow my entire blog of "The Apprentice," written as the show aired? If you want to follow along from the beginning, start here and read up.

9:57: Wow, we're ... done? One hour of this, no matter how weird the live audience or how stilted Trump's questions, is just so, so much better than last year's three hours. And we get a hype of "Apprentice 4," "Apprentice Martha Stewart," and even "The Apprentice" musical. And now we see why Trump was practically pushing Kendra to go downstairs and get in her new product-placed roadster, so she can drive off. As she drives off, so do I. Thanks for reading!

9:55: Trump is forcing Tana to admit that Kendra's better. Yet he comes back to the tears? The tears? Not the under-the-radar business, but the boardroom tears? It doesn't matter, Kendra is hired! No surprise there, but -- heh, I just noticed that Kendra and Tana are wearing almost the same identical brown suits. Sorry, distracted.

9:54: "I've known you for a long while," says Trump. Or what counts for a long while in Trump's world, probably about as long as he knew Marla or Melania before marrying them.

9:53: May I be the first to say, loudly: I don't want to be a Hilton.

9:50: Tana leading the audience in dog woofs, and she's all yelling about how Kendra didn't come up with the shape of the car brochure. She's pressing any advantage she has now, and Trump loves it. He has turned an entire boardroom around because of one sentence someone said, so it's possible he could change his mind over the shape of a brochure. But no, because he has to cut for a commercial, before he even thinks to point out that the shape of that brochure has nothing to do with their performances on the final tasks. Ahem.

9:48: Trump tries to drag it all back to Book Smarts-Street Smarts. Where is Kendra's big fancy degree from? The University of Florida, I guess. That's great, but it's hardly the Harvards and Whartons this show loves to throw at us.

9:47: Aw, George, I love George. He reminds me of the tough math teacher you respected but were always a little scared of. I remember that, too, when she threw her exemption into everyone's face. They clap for Tana's enthusiasm. He dogs Kendra for the same thing everyone has, the "under the radar" stategy. But now he loves her. Tough choice, he says, but he really means "pick Kendra."

9:46: Wow, the great theme song sounds awful when played by a horn section.

9:42: Carolyn's growing out her own Carol Brady shag. But as always, she lays it down. Tana: Rude to teammates! Kendra: Stepped up to be project manager too late! Of the two strategies, if you can call them that, Kendra's is better.

9:39: Time to stroke the sponsors! For no apparent reason! And now we move to the former contestants' opinions, starting with Chris. Tana looks like she's aging as he talks. Trump notices that Chris is way calmer than he ever has been. Getting that tobacco out of his system helped, I guess. Eh, Trump doesn't care what Kendra has to say.

9:36: What? Trump is offering them the choice of companies to "run" before he even picks a winner? I wonder if they held off on including the Miss Universe pageant until they were sure a woman was going to win. Tana would be in her element, she could push her Mary Kay to all the beauty queens and then settle back and discuss the merits of different eyelash curlers. Choice #2? A Palm Beach mansion. Hey, get Raj back to do that, since he did such a good job turning a 4-bedroom house into a 3-bedroom! Since when is Trump into residential real estate design, anyway? Heh, I knew Tana would pick the pageant. Kendra's going to pick the house, and yes, she did.

9:34: I have to say, Trump and Kelly's Army ad was about as stiff as they come.

9:31: Let's plug Kelly's Army experience! And see if he can kiss up to Trump a little bit more. Bill's job technically ended April 15, but he's still hanging around, apparently. Bill addresses the final two. He's not too sure about Tana's motivational skills, though. Maybe they just didn't ask her the right questions about mascara. Trump cuts her off. Why the Vegas lounge lizard music as we cut to commercial? So very late-night talk-show, no? Don't give people a reminder that the Vegas-set "CSI" is having its scary, Tarantino-directed finale right now too!

9:29: Oh, they're rocking in Altoona, Iowa tonight! And, uh, in Florida too. Time to yack with Bill and Kelly. Oh, cheese-o-matic. It's the rah-rah Bill and Kelly video. I have to say, Kelly is dull as dishwater, whereas Bill is at least likable. How would you like to be in a meeting with either of them, knowing that they have pretty much no experience in your field at all?

9:23: The audience loves Kendra. Or loves crying. Or loves 300-pound Super Bowl linebackers, I guess, thanks to her reference to the big guys crying. She's the favorite, obviously. And now he goes to the former co-workers for quotes. What did Kristen do to her HAIR? And why are the former contestants in a big jury box? I think Trump has his show confused with "Survivor," and even their jury isn't seated in a courtroom. Oh, they're cheering for obnoxious Erin. Ugh. Wow, 25 minutes in and we have learned absolutely nothing new!

9:20: Yeah, that doesn't make Tana and Kendra any more nervous, the loud crowd. Tana's hair looks different, kinda Carol Brady shagadelic. But then bad hair on this show is no real problem. Poor Tana has to defend herself against her dogging of her own team. Yipes. But at least she can speak on her feet, I think. Ah, the American flag business. The flag was "mistakenly misplaced." OK.

9:16: I give this show one point: Best. Reality-show theme song. EVAH. Maybe they can do some synergy with "American Idol" and get Bo Bice's version every once in a while. Ha, I kid, O'Jays, I kid.

9:15: Boardroom. FINALLY. And there's the noisy live audience at NYU. I can't imagine going to one of these, but maybe they pull an Oprah and put free car keys under their seats, or something.

9:13: I still think Tana's task and team were much tougher to deal with than Kendra's, although I won't be sad if she loses. I bet the producers were thrilled that Amy from PlayStation whined about her room, because otherwise it would look as if Kendra has complete smooth sailing. I love the clip where they show everyone running up to Tana with questions and she has no idea what to tell them. Why was there no American flag? I don't understand that at all. Did they order "large box of world flags" and the U.S. was just left out? Heh, Kendra already has a job offer from the video-game guy, forget Trump.

9 p.m.: And ... we're off! The endless recap of past weeks. Oh yeah, Book Smarts vs. Street Smarts, I kind of forget about that dumb plot device. And I forgot about the whole Burger King task, too. Heh, Tana uses her "homespun charm" to sell burgers. This was when I still really liked her. Oh, Verna. That was a sad event. And Chris, what a yeller. Heh, I forgot Brian fired himself. I missed the week when they created commercials, and I guess I missed nothing, really. Oh yeah, the mini-golf course, and Erin's ugly Chanel sunglasses.

And then we see Trump tossing out the whole high school-college thing, because even he knew it was lame. I loved Carolyn hardly able to keep herself from busting up over Tana's bling-bling lingo: "We be talkin' now!" Chris quits tobacco on-air. Erin tries to flirt with Trump? Oh, this was a long season. Tana calls herself a hick from Iowa. Angie and her stripey hair get the boot. Bren, Alex and Chris drool over a car, but then have no clue how to make a brochure. Craig and Kendra are all Itchy and Scratchy, fight fight fight. Craig and Tana bail on Kendra early. I remember thinking that would come back to haunt them, but they won, so it never did. I really did like Kendra's brochure, though. Chris cries in the boardroom. Sheesh. That was embarrassing.

Bren and Alex design an ugly table that no one can get access to. T-shirts that are works of art, darn it! Another great idea for Kendra, I guess. Looking back on the whole season, she does look pretty good, but where was she for the first 10 weeks? Alex, you are not missed. Man, this is getting long...

Interviews, and Craig bites the dust quickly. Finally the final tasks. Are they going to act like we haven't seen the tasks for two weeks in a row? Why all the shots of Tana eating? Man, 12 minutes in and it's still all clip show.

• May 19, 2005 | 3 p.m. PT

‘Apprentice’ finale tonight

I have to say, back when "The Apprentice" started up again amidst the cold winds of January, I would never have predicted Tana and Kendra in the final two. This is not like "Survivor," which I blogged on Sunday, where from day one Tom was an obvious favorite. Tana and Kendra were almost invisible at the beginning, and both of them still seem to me as if they'd be eaten alive by someone like Jenn M. from last year's "Apprentice" finale.

And I don't have a strong favorite in this horse race, either. Tana did come along nicely, and I started to like her a lot about mid-season, when she refused to give up and went out and started slinging hip-hop lingo around as if she was going to hurt somebody with it. She was never afraid to embarrass herself in the pursuit of a win, and in fact, seemed impossible to embarrass. But as the final episodes unfolded, she also seemed embarrassingly unaware of how she looked, badmouthing her team in front of Carolyn and the sponsors, blithely ignoring Vinnie, the governor's minion.

To me, Kendra came from almost nowhere in this show, although when I look back at , I see that she impressed me on the very first episode by courteously and carefully describing the problems Todd (who?) had with Danny. She really turned on the gas in the last few weeks, and at least from what viewers were shown, her final task flowed much better than Tana's did. (Though I'm one of those who thinks Tana's task was innately tougher, and her team notably more insane.)

So going into the show, I think Kendra will win. And I also continue to believe "The Apprentice" has one of the worst prizes on any reality show. On "Survivor," Tom got to take his million dollars home, cash the check, and live in peace. On "The Apprentice," the $250,000 salary comes with a bizarre job that sounds both fake (even Trump has admitted that a newbie can't walk in and run one of his companies) and like a pounding headache that Advil couldn't relieve.

When ‘Dreams’ die

We figured it was coming. Despite a denial last week from NBC that the decision had already been made, the cynical among us figured it was really already all over but the shouting. And now the word is official: NBC has perhaps the best drama on TV.

The troubles and triumphs of the Pryors of Philadelphia never had a huge audience, but they found a fiercely loyal contingent who loved going back in time with a family that struggled with the issues of the 1960s, yet never stopped loving each other. The show's move from Sunday to Wednesday shaved off some viewers who never quite took to the day change (I admit, I was one of them). And it never seemed to get one-tenth of the publicity of shows like "Joey."

We've already shared some of here. They were articulate and eloquent, as the show deserved. As I've said before, "Dreams" now goes on my mental list of shows killed before their time, right next to "Freaks and Geeks," "My So-Called Life," "Relativity" and a few others.

We'll be seeing more of the cast, that seems clear. Gail O'Grady, who played family matriarch Helen, will star in "Hot Properties," an ABC pilot set in a real-estate office. Brittany Snow (Meg), had a role in the Vin Diesel movie — not my cup of diesel, but she'll likely be seen in more films.

Will Estes (JJ) will be seen on an interesting sounding drama with a whiff of "American Dreams"-like nostalgia. Estes and other actors will play a group of high-school friends who are followed from their 1986 graduation to their 2006 reunion, with each episode covering one year in their lives. Estes' "Dreams" wife, Beth, actress Rachel Boston, has a role in a pilot of her own, "Peep Show," described as "as a look inside the disturbing minds of two roommates" (one of whom is Johnny Galecki, whom I loved as David way back in "Roseanne").

Now that the cancellation is official, I guess we can discuss the that will now happen only in fans' heads. If you don't want to know these, stop reading now. (I missed the last few episodes, so I'm coming to these a little fresh.) Of course Meg would return to her family, "perhaps after being convinced by a family member who came to California to bring her home" (Jack? JJ?). I like the idea of Roxanne as the "Bandstand" hairdresser — it would keep "Bandstand" in the show, and it was always fun to see today's musical groups playing the legends of yesteryear. Plus Roxanne would be a great hairdresser, no?

The big juicy plotlines for me are the next two: Tension in two Pryor family marriages. Of course Jack and Helen have to conflict over the draft-dodging issue, no question. With him a veteran and their son an injured veteran, it's a natural point of contention there. And I'm not surprised that trouble would have raised its head in JJ and Beth's marriage, either. They married in a whirlwind and became parents perhaps too soon, and the growing pains are going to be there. I appreciate that "Dreams" was the kind of show that wouldn't ignore that and try and paint a fairytale marriage out of less-than-fairytale circumstances.

Henry would remarry? Fine, but I would hope it would take a while. He seems still too ravaged by the loss of his wife. And the acceptance of a new, deaf stepson promised a chance to do what "Dreams" did so well, show us regular people struggling to deal with people different from them.

I'm not a Patty fan, but she needed a plotline, sure, so yeah, have her manage the football team, whatever.

But I'm absolutely intrigued by the other two plotlines listed here: JJ helping design the spacesuit for the first manned mission to the moon, and the repercussions of the . I loved how "Dreams" incorporated real-life American milestones into its characters' lives, and Apollo 1 is something not many of the show's young viewers know anything about. "Apollo 13," sure (thank you, Tom Hanks), but not all space missions had a happy ending.

I would have liked to see the show get a chance to play out those plotlines, but unfortunately, they're all in our "Dreams" only now. I leave you with this: season one is out in a boxed set on DVD, complete with commentaries from Dick Clark and the cast. Other seasons will likely follow, and is the best reference I've found for release dates (they require free registration if you want to vote for which shows you'd like to see released).

Dream on!

Blogging ‘Survivor’ finale

I blogged the "Survivor Palau" finale live. Want to read the blog from the beginning? and scroll up. I'll tell you up front: I'm , would be contented if Ian won, perplexed if Katie won, and shocked if Jenn won. Just so you know where I stand.

10:08:  Thanks for reading along in the blog for me, and for playing along to this happy (for me, anyway) ending. I'm not going to blog the reunion show, because I can't stand them, but I'll be watching. And we'll have a piece up shortly from contributor Andy Dehnart, and he'll let you know if anything unusually exciting happens. Thanks again!

10:03:  Time to count the votes. Hey, who replaced Tom with Anderson Cooper, and Katie with Amber from "Survivor: All-Stars"? They look so, so different. And Caryn has a 1920s flapper spit-curl 'do all of a sudden.The crowd wants Tom, because they are not dumb. \

VOTES:TomKat (Coby, obviously)TomTomTom

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Journalistic objectivity, be damned! How can you not get a little sniffly when they show the firehouse yelling "Tom-my! Tom-my!" And in walk the rest of the cast, looking decked out so as to be almost unrecognizable. I have to say, except for the little fear there that Katie was going to take it, and Steph leaving a bit too soon, I loved this season. Most deserving winner ever? Kind of takes some of the bad taste from Flo winning "Amazing Race" away (yes, I am still bitter, OK?).

10:02:  Woo, the cheesy Jeff Probst as superhero part, as we reveal the live audience in NYC. Wait, isn't Jeff going to scale a cliff, hang from a copter, ride a motorcycle on the Autobahn? He's just walking with the box? Jeff, are you old all of a sudden? You love the drama!

10:00:  Vote for the person you want to win, not like in the past. I always wonder if anyone has ever screwed that up, or if there's a big sign at the voting table: DUMMIES, WRITE DOWN THE NAME OF WHOEVER YOU WANT TO WIN. Janu votes for Tom, and she actually smiles doing so. Coby, whatta dork. He votes for "Kat," whatever. She was sure to get his vote and Ian's, and the others, who can call? This could be close, as much as it's not close in my head.

9:57:  Final statements from Tom and Katie. Tom: More of the same. humble, respectful, throwing it out there. Classy, classy. Katie: Apology, too late. Praise for Tom, too late. "Give me a chance!" She keeps coming back to the "sense of humor," which I so rarely saw. Vote, already.

9:39:  Jury questioning is always so underwhelming, considering how juicy it could be. No Sue Hawks in this game anymore, I guess. Here we go. And starting with Coby, who hates Tom, right? "I have issues, I'm bringin' 'em," he says. Yeah, enough issues for a magazine subscription. Coby lays into Katie for her lameness, heh. And of course, he's saving most of the crazy for Tom. What does he want them to say? Nothing, I guess.

Hmm, Gregg, he's likely to vote with Katie, no? That doesn't make a ton of sense, but he's got a right to be bitter. "I saved you." Oh, I wish we could run the video of Gregg on the yacht plotting against Tom and Ian now. Gregg calls Katie "insignificant" and "worthless" and brings up how she talked about everyone behind their backs. Now he uses "pathetic" and asks her to explain her "plan," and she has no idea how to start because she has no plan, never did. Except for the tears. Turn on the waterworks, which Tom will never stoop to do. Ugh. I'm sorry to those reading who wanted a fair and objective view of this show, but I cannot do that because I am so biased.

Wow, Stephenie is tanner than is probably healthy outside of a pack of beef jerky. And she feels betrayed by Tom, which I understand. OK, I don't even remember all the details, but is Tom or Katie lying here? Of course I'm gonna say Katie.

Janu looks like a Cher doll I had in the 1970s. "You cannot play Survivor and not mislead, midirect," says Tom. Heh. That should replace the "Outwit, outlast" slogan, don't you think? Katie's face is just looking mean now. Three adjectives? Katie can't be bothered. So she blows off Janu, heh. She is not smart.

Caryn, oh, so lame. Was she a pawn? Did she do anything to not be a pawn? On a "Survivor" that didn't have such a losing tribe like Ulong, Caryn would have been gone early. Tom is too mouthy with her though. He's not even going to answer that question? Oh, Tom. But Caryn saved the best adjectives for Katie. Unkind, betrayer, it's all there. And Katie doesn't want to answer her either, really. Man, she lost Caryn's vote, not that she ever had it.

Jenn. Wow, I almost forgot about her. She calls Tom chauvinistic, says he doesn't respect her game. Her game? She had a game? Tom brings up the whole confronting Ian thing, not smart right before Ian's question, I don't think. And Jenn, herself a doormat, calls Katie a doormat. Oh, this is just so full of juicy contradictions, no?

Ian. He's got to be voting for Katie, no? Biggest reason they shouldn't get the million? Katie blames her personality and "sense of humor," whatever. Tom tries to say he's already gotten paid by the fun of the game. Not a good answer in my opinion, but it supports the personality he's showed so far. "I've been compensated," he says. Aww. See, even if that was fake, even if that was meant to soften hearts, I liked it. I'm a softie in my old age, I guess, with a warm place in my heart for NYC firefighters who never say never. And not so much for snotty women who never got over their junior-high emotional manipulation, I guess.

9:33:  "Never had a nasty word for any of you." See, I think that's true, where Tom is concerned, up until that last tribal council tie thing. Katie brags about how she never had immunity and skated by. Is she thinking that will impress the jury? I guess, but man, I hope they are not that stupid. "I outwitted," she brags. Sheesh!

9:32:  The jury, the crazy, crazy jury. This should be interesting. Oh, nice airbrushed shirt, Coby Blingmeister. The ultimate irony here? Would be if Caryn casts a winning vote for Katie, after all Tom did to try and court her and all Katie did to piss her off. Let's hope that doesn't happen.

9:31:  Katie hopes she gets credit for "the choices that I've made." Such as when to whine, and when to beg, when to lie, and when to suck up. Yeah, great choices.

9:29:  Hmm, why am I seeing Tom doing all the work and Katie barely helping? Oh wait, it's exactly like the previous umpteen weeks of the show. Oh, I bet Katie will be candid in the finals, candid in a most obnoxious way. See, usually, at this point, I don't care who wins, but this time? I care too darn much.

9:28:  Heh, I love Tom. "I'll tell you a dream I had, and you tell me a dream you had..." Because Tom remains no fool, he knows this is crazy. Katie, however, seems to be taking this totally in stride. "I made it to the final two." No no no, Ian went crazy and gifted you a spot in the final two.

9:25:  Sorry, CBS, you are so not getting me to watch "Rob and Amber Get Married." If my TV, phone, computer, CD player and DVDs were all broken, and no one I knew would talk to me, and suddenly none of my books opened, I would still find better entertainment than that. Possibly scrutinizing rocks in my driveway would offer better entertainment than "Rob and Amber Get Married."

9:20:  Tom trying to get Ian back in. Ian remains nuts. Tom sticks to his deal, because Ian is crazy but Tom is not, I guess. Probst shows his mad tribal council skillz by conducting an impromptu tribal council on the spot, woo, the man can improvise! Now I guess it remains to see how bitter the jury members are against Tom. This will be one for the books, along with Colby handing the million to Tina, and Marcellas on "Big Brother" refusing to save himself with the power of veto.

9:17:  So, so stressful. ELEVEN HOURS! This is torture, right here, one million dollar torture. And part of why I hate the endurance challenges. But I guess it's down to who wants it more, or who slips first. WHAT? Is Ian HIGH? He'll step down if Tom takes Katie to final two? He is nuts. Probst is trying to talk him out of it. Ian just seems so, so young here. Tom'd be dumb not to take it, but you can tell he's thinking: The hell? Did Ian just give Tom a million dollars and a woman who was ready to vote Ian himself out $100,000? Does anyone get this? Is this "Bizarro Survivor"? I should be happy, because yay, Tom vs. Katie final two, but...I guess I'm still too confused.

9:11:  Is Tom sleeping? Eight hours, whoa. Tom tries a deal. I don't know about this. Tom's trying to coax him into second place, hmm. Tom can't step down, and he knows it, but I just don't think Ian can either. Ian has a chance against Katie in a jury vote. Against Tom? Not so much, I don't think.

9:06: One more immunity, if Tom doesn't win it, we get a Katie-Ian final. Endurance, which favors the men, generally, but involving balance, which favors women, often. Jeff says nobody's gonna willingly step down. Yeah, but if Caryn and Janu were still around, even for a million dollars, they just might. I think they're smart to ignore Probst's questions now, if they can. Why get distracted? Ian does not look comfortable, though they could be feinting us that way. Sheesh, four hours, yuck. This is one of the big huge reasons why you will never see me trying out for "Survivor," right here. Katie steps down, no shock there. But she knows Ian and Tom are gunning for each other anyway, so there you are. And I doubt Tom and Ian are cutting any deals at this point.

9:05: One hour in. This show is going so much faster than, say, last year's torturous three-hour "Apprentice" finale. Thankfully Trump wised up and cut this year's to a totally manageablehour (meet me here on Thursday for the live blog o' that one, same URL, same Bat-channel).

8:55: Time for the oh-so-boring Recap o' the Losers. Honoring folks like Willard, Ashlee, Janu, Jolanda, people who hardly did a darn thing, and weren't missed and are barely remembered. Heh, Jeff and his "rolled my ankle on the coconut." Forgot about him. It's also kind of funny how instead of, say, hanging flowers on the departed comrade's markers, they essentially drown them. Aarr! To Davy Jones' locker, with ye, Willard! Aw, Angie. Now there's someone I would have liked to see in the final three, instead of, oh, KATIE. Man, I didn't need to hear from James again. Woo, doggie! I wonder if some poor "Survivor" crew member has to come out and dive down and retrieve all these torches they're sinking to the bottom, here, or if they just litter them there. Bobby Jon left "every toenail" out on that island. Speaking as someone who lost a big toenail once, ow. That is one painful, yet humiliating, injury, right there. Oh, Janu. You quit, don't try to rewrite history with you "messing up the plans" of everyone. Aw, Stephenie. Out too early, but forever to be remembered as one of the best women ever to play "Survivor." Heh, Katie says "this is a tough one" as she dumps Gregg's torch. Yeah, because you thought he'd take you to the finals. Caryn. I wanted to like her, but she would not allow that. Didn't play smart, act smart, or talk smart, that one. I still know so little about Jenn, even though she made it to the final four. What a cipher.

8:53: Oh, Ian. I've liked you until now, but quit with the "worst night of my life" stuff. That just won't fly. Have we seen Katie in the glasses before? She looks like the schoolmarm on "Little House on the Prairie" (who didn't wear glasses, at least in the show, but you get the idea). Have we seen a male contestant this mentally messed up so late in the game before? Not to be sexist, but man, Ian seems to have totally lost it.

8:52: Also, the night-vision cameras do no one any favors. They all look like aliens.

8:50: Man, this has got to be awkward for Tom and Ian now, as he's saying. Even a diplomat couldn't talk his way out of this one, and poor Tom's going to try anyway. Oh Katie, shut UP. If Tom doesn't have immunity, he's gone next. He can't talk his way back into Ian's good graces, and Katie's going to dogpile onto anyone as long as she stays safe. Tom should have gone to Jenn early and gotten her to vote off Katie, is my thinking. Katie probably couldn't have made a fire to save her life.

8:43: OK, no rocks, Tom stays immune, it's the Steph-Bobby Jon fire-making challenge. I would think the smart money has to go with Ian, because Gregg probably made sure Jenn never had to build a fire. Makes me wish Tom had changed his vote to Katie, if he even could have done that. I think Jeff is trying to make us think Jenn will win whether she will or not, because Ian's fire looked bigger from the start to me. Jenn gets eliminated. Final three: Tom, Ian, Katie. This can't be good for Tom, methinks. Ian will hate him now and Katie has no reason to like him, either.

8:41: Ah, the tie. So Tom could bend and go for Jenn, but then Ian would hate him more. Or Katie could bend and avoid having to pull a rock, am I following this right? Would Tom have to pull a rock, or would he stay immune? I've never really understood this.

8:40: Why should Ian care what Katie thinks, when she was so happy to get rid of Ian when Gregg was leading her? Oh Katie, you keep bringing the drama, and Ian keeps going for it.

8:38: Is there a cameraperson whose sole job is to look for Coby eye-rolls on the jury? Also, as my friend Andy notes: "What the heck is Coby wearing?" Personally, I think he studied at the Bobby Jon-James school of toga making, but only he tie-dyed his.

8:36: Tribal council. Jeff says tribal council started way past sundown, which is interesting. How do they know, without watches, when to get to tribal? They just go as the sun starts to set or something? And then Tom had his revelation at the last minute and made them wait? Jenn's looking a little cat-ate-the-canary now, isn't she? Note Ian sitting between the two women, interesting. Ian looks confused, but of course, he didn't tell Tom all this, he's got a weird attraction to Katie and does know that Tom would be tough to beat in a final two. He's just been dumb about what comes out of his mouth about it.

8:34: Ian finally fesses up to Tom that he knows what a threat he was! And a light goes on in Tom's head...so now he's thinking, why get rid of do-nothing Jenn instead of a real threat? And smart of Jenn to be telling Tom this, it could save her neck. Tom's joked about his Irish heritage before, and as a fellow Irish-American, I wonder if he's heard the phrase "As the Irishman said when they kicked him down the stairs, you don't have to tell me twice..."

8:32: Ian says "it's going to be Jenn that goes home tonight." Kinda smart, I suppose, as she might earn some votes in the finals, while who would vote for Katie? (Gregg? Jenn herself? People who resent Tom?) I think that even when Tom is essentially telling Jenn goodbye, he's at least civil about it. Yeah, I'm drinking the Tom Kool-Aid.

8:25: Flying fox! Reality shows love those, don't they? How can Ian not run faster than Tom with those long legs he has? Uh-oh, Tom falling behind...up to speed and luck now. This seems a fairly stupid ending to a challenge, to me, leaving it up to randomness. Poor Jeff Probst though, trying to make it as exciting as possible. Woo! Tom runs it up the flagpole to see who salutes, and trust me, it's neither Jenn nor Katie, though at least Jenn and Ian congratulated him. Tom has first immunity. Heh. I have to say, I'm loving this, Get rid of Katie! Come on!

8:21: "Katie, struggling already." Is it wrong that I'm quite content with that? She bugs me. Come on, Tom! Says Probst: "Katie is either very worn out or not worried at all." How can she be worn out, the challenge just started? Even little Jenn is working it. Some of these skills have to be something a firefighter is naturally good at, no? Ian seems to be pretty good too, maybe dolphin trainers end up hooking things a lot (stray dolphins? tuna?). Woo, Tom! I just don't think I've ever had such a fandom going into a finale before. Usually the people I like bite it early because they're too nice or seen as a threat, but not this year. And a Tom-Ian challenge finale, to the surprise of perhaps one person who's never seen the show.

8:18: Chevy's sure getting its props, with the Corvette and this car. Blank check for a million dollars, hee. Like they get the whole million. What about taxes? Yeah, I'm a nit-picker, sorry.

8:17: "If Ian or Katie or I win immunity" says Jenn. Oh, yeah, Jenn and Katie have been regular immunity threats.

8:16: Great, the women are shrieking bloody murder and all I'm thinking about is the time Michael Skupin FELL IN THE FIRE. And instead they're yelling because they were gifted with a cooler of food. What is UP with the show this season? Bathrooms, a professionally built shelter, food every time they turn around. "Survivor" has become "Posh Life." Tom calls it an atta boy, but I don't know about that...

8:15: Wow, what a long precap. I am just not understanding why Ian is so desperate to cling to Katie. He's never really made her explain how she and Gregg and crew were going against him. She betrayed him first, in my book.

8 p.m. ET: And ... we're off!