>>>
it was one of the most shocking moments of the
war in afghanistan
, the
2004
death of
pat tillman
who gave up a lucrative
pro football
career to fight for his country. even more stunning, his death was caused by
friendly fire
. now his widow
marie
has written a memoir about their long
love story
. "today" contributing correspondent
jenna bush hager
recently sat down with her. good morning.
>>
good morning, willie. shortly after his death, his widow found a message he left her called just in case. it's a message that's carried her through the last eight years.
>>
i always knew that our life would be a little bit of an adventure.
>> reporter:
these are the images of
pat tillman
we're most familiar with, the charismatic
football star
, the patriotic
army ranger
, the fallen
war hero
.
>>
pat tillman
, who gave up a multi-
million dollar
contract in
professional football
has been killed.
>> reporter:
the brave soldier whose death was at the center of a congressional investigation.
>>
corporal tillman probably died as a result of
friendly fire
.
>> reporter:
but to
marie
tillman he was her
high school
sweetheart, best friend and beloved husband.
>>
you say he was the most imposing exterior macsking the most gentle soul.
>>
a lot of people remember him as a football player and soldier and tough guy, which he was. he also had an incredibly sweet and sensitive side.
>>
in her new memoir, "the letter" this is the
pat tillman
marie
would like you to know.
>>
he was the football player who would quote waldo.
>>
he was interested in everything and read a lot.
>>
a reader and
marie
would also find out a writer. pat left her what was called a just in case letter. she discovered it the day he was killed.
>>
through years i've asked a great deal of you. i have another favor to ask. i ask that you live.
>> reporter:
what do you think he meant by live.
>>
it's funny. that sort of like simple request i feel like has taken on such different meaning over the course of years.
>> reporter:
together since
high school
and through college,
marie
moved to arizona to be with pat when he signed for the cardinals.
>>
he loved to play football, but that type of career has an end to it. but i was certainly surprised when we left earlier than planned.
>> reporter:
their original plan had not included the events of 9/11. both pat and
marie
were deeply affected. one night in bed he turned to
marie
and revealed his thoughts. he wanted to quit his multi-
million dollar
football career and fight for his country.
>>
there was something in me that i knew that was the path he would take. when you know somebody like we knew each other, i understood why he felt compelled to join.
>>
why do you think he felt compelled?
>>
he was definitely one of those people who felt like, you know, if there's something you believe in or something you see is wrong in the world, that you should stand up and try and do something about it.
>>
shortly after their wedding in may
2002
, pat and his brother kevin enlisted together as
army rangers
. from the beginning of basic training to his deployment in iraq in
2003
and afghanistan in
2004
,
marie
said pat struggled with the decision he had made.
>>
i think saying you don't know completely what you're getting into, and the world changed a lot from the time he signed up until the time, you know, he was killed.
>> reporter:
marie
was at work when she learned pat had been killed. he had been in afghanistan for less than three weeks. there was a very public memorial. a time which
marie
felt her privacy was disregarded.
>>
there was a part of me that was sort of resentful of this -- what i felt was sort of caricature of who he was that was created.
>>
then the discovery of the actual events of pat's death. he had been killed by
friendly fire
a month after pat died, you found out the circumstances around his death were different than what you actually heard.
>>
to hear the way i thought he had been killed was totally different from the way he had actually been killed really sort of set me back and made me question everything, you know, even question if he was actually gone.
>> reporter:
a
department of defense
inspector general report ultimately found, although there were critical errors by the military in its reporting of pat's death, there was no deliberate cover-up. you were part of a story where they used words like cover-up, deceit. how do you reconcile that today?
>>
you know, i think that for me, in order to move forward, i realized i had a choice. i could, you know, remain angry and full of hate and sort of bitter, or i could find a way to put all of those things in a place that i could deal with them and move forward in a positive way.
>>
and move forward she had.
>>
hey, it's
marie
. how are you doing?
>>
today
marie
now runs the
pat tillman
foundation which provides educational scholarships for veterans and their spouses. last year
marie
got remarried to joe. they had their first child just this past january and they are happily building their life together in chicago along with joe's three boys from a previous marriage.
>>
ironically it was pat's letter that helped you learn that you could love again.
>>
yeah. i mean, he was -- i don't know if he knew what he was doing when he left that letter, but it was really a gift for me to know that it was okay. it was okay for me to move forward and to live my life.
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