Joan Rivers hates everyone—including herself

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   >>> so you're a woman in your 40s with a career and a child and your mom moves in. such is the reality of melissa rivers when her mother joan came to live with her. i sat down with the two of them at joan 's home here in new york to talk about their lives on-screen, and off.

   >> look at this. this girl thought she had everything. do you think that's why they didn't call me the call-backs because of the little mustache? i have two hit shows. do you understand our business? there will be years where i had nothing. nothing. you know. and suddenly got fashion police on e! stacey's dress i lived it. it was gold and shiny just like the wedding ring she'll never get. and then we have joan and melissa on we.

   >> i want to know all --

   >> go to the sperm bank --

   >> not we. not we.

   >> i will do it.

   >> no.

   >> margie knows a place.

   >> mom, no.

   >> you'll get it wholesale.

   >> in its second season the series takes a look inside the real lives of joan and melissa rivers . who are now living together part-time in california.

   >> people always say well you know she's only living there for the show. no she's living with me before the show and even now when we're not in production. mom is in my house four days a week.

   >> remember when grandma puts her hands in the cement today, make sure that mother doesn't push grandma's feet in, also.

   >> are you fighting?

   >> what gives you that idea, honey?

   >> how sit working out the two of you? we see the reality show part of it. but in real life .

   >> i've really gotten close with my grandson. this is great! we're doing something together. twice he actually called me grandma.

   >> instead of hey lady?

   >> hey lady.

   >> it almost seems like you've find of flipped the parental role. you want to get a tattoo.

   >> oh, my god, what is that? at this age you better hurry.

   >> how do you handle your mother going off into this direction.

   >> i think i've been sort of the adult in the relationship for awhile.

   >> thank you.

   >> you're welcome.

   >> and i don't argue with that. mom, seriously, things are great.

   >> don't touch, you might snap.

   >> at age 78, joan rivers doesn't miss a beat or a punch line . she also doesn't pull any punches when it comes to plastic surgery.

   >> it's time for maybe 10,000 mile tune-up on my neck. i'd rather be a good-looking corpse than look like some of the people i saw at my class reunion .

   >> something melissa doesn't support.

   >> this is ridiculous. at this point, is the reward really worth the health risk?

   >> there's a number out there that's been reported all over the internet, 739 operations. not true?

   >> it's actually 473 -- no. i did it as a joke to somebody, and the joke, which is so insane, and it's been picked up, and people now say to me, is it true you had whatever the number is, that many operations? and you go, i would never be -- i would look like a mummy.

   >> several months ago i was on a plane and you were on the plane, and i don't know if you saw me. you were on the other side of the aisle. i was watching you and you were quiet and you were reading and i thought, what's it like to be joan rivers ? the sense that you have to always be on.

   >> the hard thing about being joan rivers is hostesses expect you to be on. and i learned at cocktail parties , dinner parties , oh, sit joan text to them, she'll be funny at the table. if i don't know you, i don't talk. at all.

   >> so you don't feel this notion to be the comedienne all the time?

   >> i feel they want me to be it and i can't be it.

   >> you're shy. so mom gets very shy and nervous and doesn't want to disappoint, so it sort of becomes this circle where she's like, then i just shouldn't say anything because what if they think i'm not funny or what if they think i'm not short.

   >> i was at a dinner party about seven years ago, sitting there, this dinner party and right in front of me the hostess leaned over and said to somebody, remember what joan says is funny. and i suddenly was like, none of these people have a sense of humor. she had to explain that i was being funny.

   >> melissa , have you ever had the desire to get into the comedy side?

   >> no, no.

   >> she's funny.

   >> i'm different funny than my mother. i'm getting -- i'm getting -- because she doesn't want to acknowledge her --

   >> i don't think i could do stand-up.

   >> now with joan spending more time with melissa on the west coast the brooklyn-born comedienne has put her beloved manhattan duplex on the market.

   >> gadhafi wanted to rent it.

   >> you were going to do it?

   >> he could have roasted pigs in the living room . it would have really upset the neighbors.

   >> no matter where joan resides she certainly feels right at home with her daughter by

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