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Video: Pamper yourself on Mother’s Day

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    >> this morning on mom's rule today, pampering yourself for mother's day. it's a good time to take a break and recognize all of the hard work you do every day for others. and here with some ideas is robi ludwig a psychotherapist and care.com contributor.

    >> good morning.

    >> love this idea of nurturing yourself on mother's day.

    >> absolutely.

    >> the kids and the husband which is all great, too, but you say really take time to pamper yourself.

    >> we need to. and moms are so good at giving to everybody else . but if you give to yourself and you're happier, you're a better mom.

    >> you have some good ideas for us. you say first do something old.

    >> right. think about what you love to do, maybe before you were a mom, and you just didn't have time to put it into your schedule. maybe it was singing. it will be different for everybody.

    >> right.

    >> dancing, creative writing . something that gives you joy. and find a way to fit it into your current life.

    >> gives you that freedom of -- okay. next you say try something new.

    >> all we know --

    >> -- as enjoyable.

    >> doing something new helps us to feel really good about ourselves. think about something you've never done before. maybe it's trying a new food, wine tasting , something that you can incorporate into your day that helps you feel like you are the person you want to be. and it also helps moms feel like they're not in a rut. because we can feel that way sometimes.

    >> reinvigorates you.

    >> that's right.

    >> you also say and i love this, extend mother's day.

    >> extend --

    >> does this mean every day becomes mother's day?

    >> it was inspired by my college roommate who made her birthday like a month.

    >> right.

    >> why does it just have to be one day.

    >> exactly.

    >> make it every day. sometimes a day is too short to get to everything that we want to do. so maybe you want to hire a baby-sitter and have a couple's night out or a girl's night out. or hire somebody where you can delegate things to so that you can incorporate more of what you want into your life.

    >> sounds good to me. i'm signing up for that.

    >> i know, me too.

    >> also you say make it a ponytail, no makeup kind of a day.

    >> i love this. sometimes we're so worried about looking good, it's nice just to not have to worry about that. and realize we're loved anyway. and perhaps even more so.

    >> absolutely. just go casual.

    >> yes.

    >> on the other end of it you say buy a luxury item you may not necessarily need. but maybe want.

    >> right. i highly recommend this. and of course-ish.

    >> a nice pair of shoes.

    >> you don't want to break the budget. so set how much you want to spend on yourself. maybe it's shoes, a dress, perfume, nail polish . but something that says, i love me, and i deserve this. and i don't know if moms do that enough.

    >> that's absolutely right. we get to everybody else . but we're the last ones to take care of ourselves. and you say, intentionally relax here. now the key word intentionally.

    >> right. and moms often feel very guilty in that they should be doing all the time. so they have to intentionally say to themselves, it's time to slow down. maybe it's putting on great music. lighting candles. getting that massage. or putting lotion all over yourself, on your hands and your feet, so remind yourself it's good to slow down every now and again.

    >> and then finally, and you say we should be doing this any day of the year is really to read some inspiration.

    >> i love this. because we can get so frazzled in our day, and lose sight of what's really important, and if we book some time to read some inspirational ideas, it's very good for our mental health . both for ourselves, and those that we're interacting with.

    >> helps you keep everything in perspective, as well.

    >> yes, absolutely.

    >> happy mother's day.

    >> to you, too.

    >> we deserve it. today is

By
msnbc.com contributor
updated 5/2/2012 8:53:44 AM ET 2012-05-02T12:53:44

We all know how famous moms are for putting everyone else’s needs before their own. But the ability to self nurture is an important skill for mothers to develop. Why? When moms learn how to take care of themselves, they often end up having more energy and zest to take care of those they love. The problem is finding the time.

Here’s my advice: Find someone who can help you give yourself what you need this Mother’s Day. Whether this is a spouse, a parent, a neighbor or a babysitter, voice what you need – and book their time. Don’t feel guilty – you are worth the effort.

So where to start?  Fortunately this plan is as easy as counting to seven. This number also fits in nicely with the days of the week. I warn you, though: You might get so hooked that you want to incorporate a few of these well-tested strategies into the rest of your year. OK, so let’s get started!

1. Book time alone
Maybe it’s reading a book in one day or going for a long run. Maybe it’s gardening or finally finishing knitting the sweater you said you’d complete. Whatever you want to do, let your kids and partner know you need a few hours of peace and quiet to make it happen. Then relish in your accomplishment when you’re done.

2. Celebrate mom friends
Sure, Mother’s Day is about being a mom and spending the day getting love from your kids. But it’s also about cherishing and celebrating your role as mom – and sometimes that means finding fellow moms to laugh with. So send an invitation to the moms you know (family or friends) and coordinate a girls' night out some evening in May. Laughing about your kids and sharing parenting tricks can be therapeutic.

3. Try something new
Trying new things keeps us young and makes us feel alive. It also helps us to break out of the rut of daily activities that moms can often fall into. Always wanted to learn photography? Enroll in a class. Considered gardening? Get out the gloves. Whether it’s trying a new cuisine or making something from scratch, set a goal and start thinking about how you can make it happen. Even if the kids can’t take part, they will surely learn the value of challenging oneself.

4. Go on a date
Mother’s Day doesn’t have to be the traditional brunch out with fidgeting kids – or breakfast in bed with undercooked bacon. Instead, celebrate the relationship with your partner and book a sitter to have an “us night.” Crazy idea: Try not to talk about the kids.

5. Promote a skill
You used to do what? Remember those pre-kids days when there was time to spend on hobbies and talents? Those days singing in a band, writing creatively or coaching a team might seem like a lifetime ago. Bring them back. Find time to devote to something you used to do – something that made you proud of yourself. True, the proudest job you’ve ever done is being a mom, but it’s always important to view yourself as a well-rounded person.

6. Outsource something
The business of parents can never be explained to the fullest extent. There’s probably not enough time to even try. Find something to take off your plate. Whether it’s house cleaning, walking the dog at night, or taking the kids to their activities, hire a caregiver to handle one thing a week. Then make the most of that time to relax, tackle an important project, make a phone call – something from your to-do list.

7. Step back
Try to devote one day this week to take a step back from your role as mom – and just breathe deeply. “Mom, I need new soccer cleats!” “Mom, he hit me!” See what happens when you ignore the non-urgent mom-requests, replying with silence, or just an “OK.” They might think you’ve gone crazy. But they also might fix the problem themselves.

However you choose to spend Mother’s Day, remember that it’s important for your emotional well being to get yourself a little something special to remind yourself, yes… you are worth it.

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Dr. Robi Ludwig is a national TV commentator and psychotherapist who practices in New York City. She is also the author of the book “Till Death Do Us Part” as well as a contributor for TODAY.com.

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© 2013 msnbc.com.  Reprints

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