Rebecca Grado and Christy Whitman's "Taming Your Alpha Bitch" shows women how to overcome struggle, conflict and competition by introducing a more assertive, "take-no-prisoners" approach to their lives. Here's an excerpt.
Now more than any other moment in history, we as women are discovering and expressing the full magnitude of our authentic, unabashed power. After hundreds of years of biting our tongues, biding our time, and batting our eyelashes, we’ve finally hung up our aprons and bid farewell to the submissive “damsel in distress” role that has served as both an archetype and a stereotype of what it means to be feminine.
Take a look at the shifting global landscape and you’ll see that women are advancing to the forefront of almost every industry. We are successful entrepreneurs, CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, influential leaders, and respected, contributing members of our communities. We have broken through glass ceilings, leveled career and educational playing fields, and proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that we can generate our own prosperity. We’re even taking our rightful place in politics, not only as first ladies but also as vice presidential candidates and prospective commanders in chief.
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This new found surge of power isn’t confined solely to the workplace, either. We’re also taking a more assertive role in our personal relationships, successfully (and often single-handedly) running our households and making key decisions on everything from child care to financial investments. We are now firmly established in territory that was strictly off-limits to us just a few decades ago; as a result, more choices and opportunities are open to us than ever before.
Yes, ladies, we have rightfully earned the social, economic, and political equality that we’ve been fighting for more than 100 years to achieve. And we have definitely seized every opportunity to prove that we have what it takes to succeed in a “man’s” world (and oh, have we proved it).
In the span of just two generations, our accomplishments as women have led to some pretty impressive breakthroughs...and some unprecedented breakdowns. Along with our expanded options, many of us are feeling more anxious, exhausted, overwhelmed, and out of balance— both within ourselves and in our relationships with others.Video: Women: Be fierce, get what you want (on this page)
As female empowerment experts, we meet thousands of women each year—in our counseling and coaching practices, at conferences, and during our Goddess Retreats (a transformational weekend that awakens the radiance, mystery, and power within each woman)—and an alarming number of them report feeling more stress than ease, and having more moments of frustration than delight. Despite the wealth of opportunities at their fingertips, many women are experiencing the “glass half empty” feeling in areas of their lives where they yearn for abundance. It’s certainly not a lack of intelligence, strength, or determination that’s preventing these amazing women— and perhaps you as well—from creating the fulfillment they seek. In fact, many of those we’ve coached and counseled over the years are strong, competent women who have attained a high degree of success in their lives. And, like them, you may be wondering why, given this success, you’re feeling unfulfilled, dissatisfied, or downright depleted.
At times, managing all the different roles we play can feel a bit like performing a complicated circus act; eventually one of the plates we’ve been working so hard to keep spinning will come crashing to the ground. It seems that the moment we achieve mastery in one area of our lives, things fall apart in another. Just when our careers are cruising along at full speed, we realize that our sex lives have broken down by the side of the road. Or perhaps we’ve finally managed to create a sense of balance at home and a strong connection with our families, but wake up one morning to discover that we can’t button our slacks. This imbalance leaves us lost between feelings of complete exhilaration and utter powerlessness. Common scenarios like these suggest that while we most certainly have “come a long way, baby,” we still have a ways to go to create the 100 percent fulfillment and core-deep empowerment we seek.
Since most of us were raised in a largely male-dominated culture, where examples of powerful and successful men far outnumbered those of powerful, successful women, we naturally adopted a masculine approach to fulfilling our life goals. It just made sense, right? If we wanted to enjoy the same degree of empowerment that most men did, we had to seize that power, just like a man. As a result, many of us said “so long” to the familiar role of “helpless fairy-tale heroine” and donned a cutthroat, ambitious, and competitive stance. Summoning all the machisma we could muster, we forged ahead, determined to take by force everything we longed to achieve.
Time for a New Method
The masculine approach to success has served us well and was a necessary step in our evolution, but thanks to the generations of women who came before us, we are now poised to take the next step toward the realization of our full feminine power. Like the women who struggled to find their voices before us, we are now feeling a growing urgency to awaken all of our latent potential and experience a deeper connection to ourselves, to others, and to life itself. We sense there is something more within us that is yearning to be expressed and want more than anything to make the leap from mediocrity to excellence. At some level, we know that we have the potential to be wildly successful—not just in one area of life but in all of them. We deserve to have a thriving career, financial abundance, physical vitality, emotional fulfillment, adventure, romance, and anything else our hearts desire. So when we find our- selves coming up short of our full potential in any area, it’s only natural for us to feel discontent that ranges from mild apathy to intense frustration.
And what do most of us strong, determined women do to alleviate this discontent? We work harder, of course! We roll up our sleeves, strengthen our resolve, and pursue our goals more aggressively. In other words, we adopt the mindset, the attitude, and the tactics of a dominant, pushy woman (one who some call an Alpha Bitch)."
Ladies, you may not realize it, but the habits and attitudes that have earned you your accomplishments may now be holding you back from the incredible abundance and fulfillment you deserve. You see, many of us learned that in order to compete in a “man’s” world, we had to deny our femininity and adopt a dominating and forceful manner. And it worked … to some extent. We’ve certainly earned our fair share of success but we now find ourselves more stressed, overwhelmed, and on edge than ever before.
The problem is that while we can be as successful as a man, we don’t get there through a masculine approach. Being a “damsel in distress” is not the way to make your dreams come true, but neither is being the hyper-aggressive Alpha Bitch.
Taming Your Alpha Bitch is the ultimate solution to this ever-increasing problem. Respected psychotherapist, Rebecca Grado, and in-demand life coach, Christy Whitman, will show you how you can have a more authentic, empowered feminine way of life that gets you what you want with less stress.
• shift from masculine and forceful to Feminine and Powerful in order to feel total fulfillment
• shed the limitations that have been holding you back for far too long, and start living from your highest potential
• align with five universal laws and use the power of this energy to sky rocket to success
• awaken your true feminine power so that your visions, ideas, and dreams effortlessly become your reality.
From the book "Taming Your Alpha Bitch" by Rebecca Grado & Christy Whitman, published by BenBella Books, Inc. Copyright © 2012 by Rebecca Grado & Christy Whitman Reprinted with permission.
© 2012 MSNBC Interactive