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Video: Be single – and happy – for the holidays

  1. Closed captioning of: Be single – and happy – for the holidays

    >>> it is that time of year when people everywhere are gathering with friends and family and perhaps that special someone for good tidings and good cheer.

    >> but what if you don't have someone special to share in all the festivity. these ladies here with us say you don't have to be a couple, right, to have a great time? kate white is cosmo politan's editor in chief. michelle callahan is a psychologist and author of "ms. typed." stop sabotaging your relationships and find dating success. lady, great to see you both.

    >> this does hit a nerve. you guys did a survey and it said 80% of people felt uncomfortable around the holiday time because they were single. that didn't surprise you, did it?

    >> the number was so high. that did surprise me how high it was. it enhances your loneliness if you're feeling that way as a single woman .

    >> i know there are things people can do. part of it is, you go to a party. a lot of cups. new year's eve, a lot of couples. you feel sort of yuck. do you not go to those parties? what do you do?

    >> the number one thing women said bothered them was seeing other couples celebrate. if there's going to be a lot of couples there and that type of party bothers you, don't go. i also think it's an opportunity to meet other people.

    >> there might be another lonely person there.

    >> exactly. there's no right or wrong answer. you foe if you'know if you're a home bod y and you need to get out, being at home will make you feel depressed. you might run into people that will make you feel worse about your situation. as a psychologist, i want people to think about the fact that their feelings follow their thoughts. when you're thinking about how bad you think your sitwaigs is because you're not with somebody, you start to feel bad. then that's when you make bad decisions like maybe you're eating too much or drinking too much or staying home and getting depressed.

    >> numbing it.

    >> when you should be out interacting with other people. family, friends. it doesn't have to be a significant other.

    >> should you call your single girlfriends and say, hey, let's all get together and do something? what's the plan?

    >> what makes it better and how do you redefine the holidays? getting together with single girlfriends was one of the things that really helped them. have fun. do a potluck dinner. enjoy that.

    >> commiserate.

    >> it's not just about being in a relationship. it's about the time you spend with your family and friends and just having a good time with other people.

    >> sometimes you've gotten out of a bad relationship so you can celebrate.

    >> i've been to a lot of parties as a single person . i really enjoyed myself. i think if you go in there wanting to have fun, if you go in there thinking, oh, poor me, you're going to feel weird. i often go alone to parties. i usually have fun. i like to go for a little while and get out.

    >> you do drive-bys.

    >> your attitude makes a huge difference. you're going to be with your family and your mom is going to say, where's your -- tell her ahead of time. i'm struggling with this. i don't want to talk about it. i want to have fun, put it to bed.

    >> have the goal of just saying tonight i'm going to meet one person and maybe get a number. whether it's a man or a woman. and connect with them later.

    >> i was talking to my mom this morning. she's a widow for nine years now since my daddy died. she was saying, this christmas holiday season i miss him more than i ever, ever have. so many people that have lost someone that they love very much, how can they get through the holidays?

    >> i think it's good to take a moment and just be in that space where you feel for that person and you might talk to them. you might pray with them. you have a sort of a spiritual connection missing that person. then you get yourself on up and go where you're going to go. allow yourself to feel it. allow yourself to grieve that loss. then go ahead and go on with your day.

    >> i remember one christmas i was living somewhere. i was by myself. i remember there were so many people who had -- there were lots of soup kitchens and stuff that really needed people. it turned the beat around. my choices were sitting in my apartment --

    >> feeling sorry for yourself.

    >> -- or you can really go do something.

    >> just because you always do the holidays one way doesn't mean you have to do it that way going forward.

    >>> coming up next, guess who's

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