Make over your marriage in 5 minutes

When you hear people talk about marriage, phrases like, “It takes a lot of work,” “marriage is hard,” or “50 percent of marriages end in divorce” can quickly pop into the conversation. But what if marriage isn’t really as hard as people make it out to be?

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Studies show being happily married plays an undeniable role in our mental health. After all, these are the people who we share our daily existence with, who see the best and the worst in us, and who also know us better than anyone else in the world. This makes marriage a very powerful relationship.   

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Researchers observe making minor adjustments in our behavior can have a bigger impact on our relationship than we might think. The goal is to be consistent. If small, positive changes are carried out with persistence, they become habits. And when these habits become positive bonding habits, they can be absolutely life-changing for a relationship.

So what are the intriguing 5-minute strategies that can produce these impressive marital payoffs? Glad you asked!

1. Ask for what you want. It’s far too easy to fall into the assumption that our partners should automatically know what we want. Don’t expect your spouse to read your mind. Communicate! By clearly stating what you want, this will help your partner to meet your needs, because they really do want to make you happy.

2. Have a quick venting session. Vent about what’s bothering you. Sharing problems instantly creates a feeling of intimacy and closeness. Don’t worry about coming up with solutions. Simply talking and having your partner listen is a great way to feel connected and loved.

3. Brag about your other half. Our partners need to hear what we really like and appreciate about them. Talking about what we like in front of them also reinforces their positive traits and reminds them that they are loved and valued. Plus, who doesn’t like to be complimented?

4. Get some distance if you’re in a bad mood. If you’ve had a bad day and come home in an awful mood, remember we don’t need to dump all of our negative emotions and frustrations onto our spouse. Take responsibility for how your mood impacts your relationship. Take a deep breath and think before you act.

5. Share a toast. Take a few minutes when you are together to show your partner your appreciation for everything they do. Make a toast! A toast says let’s appreciate this moment and our future together. It’s all about affirming what you have.

6. Ask him an out-there question. Relationships get stale when we think we know everything about a person. Our relationships are more exciting when we discover something new. To experience your partner in a different way, ask them about something they’ve never told you before. Be a student of your spouse. It keeps things exciting!