1. Headline
  1. Headline

Video: Jimmy Fallon’s ‘Thank You Notes’

  1. Closed captioning of: Jimmy Fallon’s ‘Thank You Notes’

    >>> we are back at 8:38 with the very funny jimmy fallon , the host of nbc's " late night " turned his popular thank you notes segment into a new book. don't know what i'm talk about? check it out.

    >> thank you, slow walking family walking in front of me on the sidewalk. [ laughter ]

    >> no, please, take your time. and definitely spread out, too. [ applause ]

    >> you create sort of a barricade of idiots. i'm so thankful that you forced me to walk on the street and risk getting hit by a car to pass you so i can resume walking at a normal human pace, thank you.

    >> the book is called "thank you notes, courtesy of jimmy fallon and late night ."

    >> nice to see you.

    >> who came up with the idea?

    >> jeremy bronson is our head monologue writer. you want a top ten list or something --

    >> that's a signature.

    >> like headlines for jay leno . so jeremy thought of the idea. all the writers chipped in throughout the season. every friday we get together and talk about what's bothering us or something that went wrong and we make a sarcastic thank you about it.

    >> you thought it would be one time only?

    >> yeah. it was going to be a one-off. then facebook and twitter, everybody said, we liked that bit. so i thought, we may have a hit. we're so excited about it. so we did it every week and got a whole bunch of different thank you notes. we figured we'd make a book out of it.

    >> make some money.

    >> right. the calendar's next. me posing dressed as a fireman.

    >> can you read some of the notes? well, let me cue the music.

    >> wow. weirdly enough, matt lauer is playing that. very talented.

    >> naked.

    >> thank you, micro brewery , for making my alcoholism seem like a neat hobby. thank you, the word "moist," for being the worst word ever. i think i speak for all americans when we say, we don't want you as a word anymore. last one.

    >> okay.

    >> thank you, dad, for discovering text messaging . i really like the text you sent with the smiley face . not as much as the 27 blank text messages you sent right after. they kept me awake. thanks so much.

    >> i actually do that.

    >> yes. it's ridiculous. he's like, i don't know what texting is. then don't do it, dad. you don't have to do it.

    >> and james --

    >> james plays the keyboard on that. he invented this soothing piano and it makes it that much funnier.

    >> they are fantastic -- the roots.

    >> they are fantastic. they're great. we're cruising. over two years now. it's fun to get things like that. have a book come out of my madness. it's -- we're all just excited. i'm an author now.

    >> a big deal author. the show is fantastic.

    >> it's bonkers.

    >> you said you don't like to kick people when they're down.

    >> i kick them when they're up, yeah.

    >> or when they are not really down. you have a job for charlie sheen .

    >> ashton kutcher took his job. he'll be great on "two and a half men." now charlie sheen has taken over -- it's called sheen. it's a prank thing. he goes around and does pranks. he just eats someone's apple and says, you got sheened. i didn't realize.

    >> it scared me how much you look like charlie sheen .

    >> weird, right? i never knew i had the impression until he started opening up.

    >> do a little bit of him.

    >> well, if i furrow my eyebrows and bug my eyes, pull hair down like that. sheen'd. great to be here, meredith. it's fantastic. good morning to you. tiger blood. duh, winning.

    >> by the way, i loved you on "snl" over the weekend.

    >> justin timberlake and gaga, come on.

    >> and jimmy fallon .

    >> i love you so much.

    >> no, you.

    >> why me when there's you?

    >> the book is called "thank you notes." jimmy fallon , thank you very much. he'll chat with kathie lee and hoda this morning. catch " late night " at 12:35 , 11:35 central time here on nbc. up next -- stop the music .

    >> holding mom and dad responsible for their kids' shortcomings in school.

TODAY books
updated 5/23/2011 11:41:09 AM ET 2011-05-23T15:41:09

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's "Late Night," has turned his popular thank you notes segment into a new book, "Thank You Notes." Read an excerpt.

  1. More in books
    1. Harlan Coben returns with ‘Six Years’
    2. ‘I Would Die 4 U’: How Prince became an icon
    3. ‘Until I Say Good-Bye’: Living for love in the face of ALS
    4. Letters from the life of George H.W. Bush
    5. Mom turns sleeping baby into fairy-tale star

Thank you post-Thanksgiving Dinner relaxation rituals, for being the one time when Uncle Gary can unbuckle his pants in front of the whole family and not get sent to jail.

Thank you people who give me homemade jam as a gift. What are we, Quakers? Exactly how much jam do you think I use? You know this is going to sit in my fridge for three years until I throw it out to make room for beer, right? Just checking.

Thank you horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. (I’m looking at you, too, Grape Nuts.)

Thank you people who say “Wow, you’re really photogenic,” for not saying what you really mean: “Wow, you’re really ugly in person.”

Excerpted with permission from “Thank You Notes” by Jimmy Fallon. Published by Grand Central Publishing. Copyright © 2011

© 2012 MSNBC Interactive

Discuss:

Discussion comments

,

Most active discussions

  1. votes comments
  2. votes comments
  3. votes comments
  4. votes comments

More on TODAY.com

  1. Joan Lunden: 10 things I wish I knew before I was diagnosed with breast cancer

    From the moment you hear the words ‘You have breast cancer,’ it’s almost like you’re shot out of a cannon. Here are 10 things I wish I knew before I was diagnosed.

    10/1/2014 10:52:45 AM +00:00 2014-10-01T10:52:45
  2. Want to help? A guide to breast cancer charities

    In the United States an estimated 296,000 women and 2,240 men will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year and almost 40,000 women and 410 men will die of the disease. That's one death every 14 minutes, according to the National Breast Cancer Coalition.

    10/1/2014 10:45:11 AM +00:00 2014-10-01T10:45:11
  3. Samantha Okazaki / TODAY
  1. Kevin Lamarque / Reuters

    Secret Service director resigns amid scandal

    10/1/2014 7:30:52 PM +00:00 2014-10-01T19:30:52
  1. Texas Ebola patient had contact with kids

    Texas Gov. Rick Perry said in a press conference on Wednesday that “some school-age children” had been identified as having contact with the man diagnosed with the first case of Ebola in the United States. 

    10/1/2014 5:37:52 PM +00:00 2014-10-01T17:37:52
  1. Samantha Okazaki / TODAY

    Plaza producer: TODAY's #PinkPower event was 'my best day on the job'

    10/1/2014 7:49:32 PM +00:00 2014-10-01T19:49:32
  1. Getty Images file

    Duchess Kate pulls out of charity event due to morning sickness

    10/1/2014 1:20:02 PM +00:00 2014-10-01T13:20:02