There’s a movement among some couples to create Facebook pages that represent both of them, rather than have two, individual pages. Spearheaded by the Profiles of Couples! Fan page, it’s hard to say that it is a "growing" movement (the Profiles of Couples Fan page only has 340 "Likes"), but it’s out there.
The question is, should you do it? I’ve been married to my husband for more than half my life; we have three kids together and share most of the same friends. But I still don’t think creating a couple’s page is a good idea.
First of all, there’s actually no such thing as a :couple’s page” on Facebook. Many get around this by using a Facebook Profile page. But Facebook’s rules state that Profiles are supposed to be used by a real individual with a real name — not SallyandJim Smith or Jenny-Tim Stone. In fact, Facebook may delete your account if you’re found out.
If you do create a makeshift couples page, there are other potential pitfalls. There’s the awkwardness that comes with ambiguity of who’s actually posting, unless you preface each post with your name (which kind of defeats the purpose). Photos will be tagged to both of you—even those taken before Jenny and Tim became Jenny-Tim. Friends can’t send personal messages—even a birthday greeting. And who gets the account when Jenny-Tim become Jenny and Tim again (surely, you weren’t thinking a joint Facebook page was going to keep your marriage together)?
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The way Facebook would like you to create a joint page is as a Fan page, like the page I have for Techlicious. Then friends and family would “Like” your couple’s Fan page, and both you and your significant other can post updates to that page. However there are no privacy settings for Fan pages, so your whole life will be out there for everyone to see.
Beyond the Facebook policy and technical issues, creating a couple’s page brings up a number of social downsides.
Some of your friends may question why you’re creating the page in the first place. Do you not trust each other to have your own private accounts on Facebook? Concerned your spouse may be doing a little flirting on the side?
And don’t you and your significant other have friends of your own? My husband and I share many friends, but certainly not all. And I’m pretty sure I don’t want to be party to the conversations he’s having with his buddies anymore than he wants to listen to what’s going on between me and mine.
But seriously, the biggest argument against a couples pages is that I value my individuality (and my husband’s) as well as our marriage. So not having my own voice, whether it’s on Facebook or in any other situation, doesn’t appeal to me. Our family and mutual friends “Friend” both of us and it works out just fine.
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