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IMAGE: Charlie Sheen
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"What can we do?" one of Charlie Sheen's top CBS superiors sighs about all of Sheen's tumult.
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updated 1/28/2011 2:23:55 PM ET 2011-01-28T19:23:55

Charlie Sheen goes to the hospital for " abdominal pain."

Charlie Sheen's released from the hospital.

Charlie Sheen supposedly parties with porn star after porn star and a briefcase full of cocaine (which his reps deny, of course).

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How the hell does anyone keep up with this guy, anymore? And what the hell are his "Two and a Half Men" bosses thinking?

Well, here's the answer:

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"What can we do?" one of Sheen's top CBS superiors sighs about all of Sheen's tumult, including the Plaza meltdown two months ago, the rehab stints, as well as yesterday's screeching emergency-room headlines.

"He shows up to work, on time. He's polite, and he makes us hundreds of millions of dollars."

Story: He did what? I'll never support him again!

This is coming from a very high-up source at the network. Just one of several heads who are in an absolute quandary about what to do with Situation Charlie.

But, true to form, Sheen is expected back at work, as early as next Tuesday.

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Jeez, it's amazing what hazardous human situations in this town are ultimately decided by money, huh?

Video: Sheen faces media criticism (on this page)

In other words, if Mel Gibson was making anybody this kinda green, you can bet his racist rants would have been swept under the table.

But Charlie's biggest problem really is that he's one of those likeable bad boys. He plays himself on the show, for ef's sake!

So does that mean his behavior is acceptable? We say hell, no!

Then again, how many people will tune into his hit CBS show after the madness dies down?

This is all just a cry for help, so sad. What will it take to get people to really listen and take serious action? Not the worst, we sincerely hope.

VIDEO: Martin Sheen on Charlie

© 2012 E! Entertainment Television, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Video: Sheen faces media criticism

  1. Transcript of: Sheen faces media criticism

    ROBACH: All right, Lee Cowan , thanks so much. TODAY contributor Gail Saltz is a psychiatrist at New York-Presbyterian Hospital , and Courtney Hazlett is the today.com pop culture correspondent. Good morning to both of you.

    COURTNEY HAZLETT reporting: Good morning.

    Dr. GAIL SALTZ (Psychiatrist): Good morning.

    ROBACH: And, Courtney , I know you've been working your sources. What have you found out about what may have really happened in that home?

    HAZLETT: It's Groundhog Day over at the Sheen residence. I mean, it's this habit of partying really, really hard, putting himself in a situation that is, A, illegal, and B, not reputable at all. And then it going badly. And Charlie Sheen , he still shows up for work most of the time on time. And so it's not a situation where somebody at " Two and a Half Men " can step in and say, 'Hey, listen, we have to have a serious conversation now' because he's their most successful actor. He's the highest paid actor on television. No one's going to put a stop to this.

    ROBACH: Right. And, Gail , what do you make of reports of this hiatal hernia? Because a lot of people are thinking...

    Dr. SALTZ: Yeah, really.

    ROBACH: ...maybe there's something else going on.

    Dr. SALTZ: Well, hiatal hernia could be there. Twenty-five percent of people have them. They're generally not a problem. But they can become irritated basically by reflux from the stomach, which is greatly exacerbated in situations where there's alcohol abuse or drug abuse. So -- and that can give you the sense of like you're having a heart attack. But with -- you know, with the pattern of behavior here, obviously what everybody's really concerned about is, you know, spiraling addiction, what I would call acquired hubris. The idea that when someone has been given tremendous power and people around them are telling them they can do no wrong and it seems that way because everything they do they still come back and work on the TV set ...

    ROBACH: Right. Mm-hmm.

    Dr. SALTZ: ...it gives them the sense of being superhuman and making bad decisions and not thinking there'll be any consequences.

    ROBACH: But it is a tragic flaw in Greek culture . We've read about it over and over again.

    Dr. SALTZ: That's right .

    ROBACH: Courtney , let me ask you this? Why do you think he hasn't suffered from all of this negative publicity and all of the things that looks like he's doing to his body when he's off camera?

    HAZLETT: What you have here is not a person who was put up on a pedestal and really well respected and thought they had a squeaky clean image and then all of a sudden they fell. This isn't Tiger Woods here. Charlie Sheen , this is Charlie Sheen . People realize by definition this is what you're going to get with Charlie Sheen . And he's on a show where he basically plays himself.

    ROBACH: Plays himself.

    HAZLETT: And so I think that's one of the reasons that he's Teflon Charlie , and until something really horrific happens there's not going to be a punishment.