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Video: For these men, money bought brides, not sex

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    >>> 8:34. who says you can't buy love? the economy may be shaking, but at least one industry is booming, the mail order bride business. here's peter alexander .

    >> they're the poster girls for international match making, beautiful, exotic and for a growing number of men the american dream . an electrician in phoenix struggled to meet mrs. right. so with the help of an international dating agency , wallburg took his search overseas traveling over 4,000 miles to st. petersberg russia .

    >> i'm not getting any younger and there's things i want to do in my life and i want to share that with someone else , someone that's special.

    >> reporter: he met that special someone right away, their romantic first date, dina and a translator. that winter dina -- became dina wahlberg. exactly nine months later, baby ashley arrived. the number of mail order marriages in the u.s. has doubled in the last decade, with the weak economy only strengthening people's desire to find a partner, according to the latest issue of bloomberg business week.

    >> a lot of people are turning to mail order brides to find a more inexpensive way for long-term companionship.

    >> reporter: services from costa rica to the ukraine. john adams says his business is thriving, love may be priceless, but adam says for only $4,000 his package trips to europe and beyond are a bargain.

    >> it's one of the most affordable single vacations that you'll ever do. you'll meet as many people as possible while you're there.

    >> reporter: he met --

    >> it's great.

    >> reporter: from russia for love. what's the best part of moving from russia to the u.s. for love?

    >> i was so lonely in russia .

    >> reporter: a young marriage proving that when it comes to love, we all speak the same language. for "today," peter alexander , nbc news, phoenix.

    >> john and tanya adams are with us with mark and ashley davis . why is business booming so much right now? why do you think this is weathering the financial storm?

    >> we have been doing this for 16 years now. if you go to love.com we have close to 40,000 profiles of well-educated, sincere, beautiful women who really wanted to meet someone and right now it's important that men are looking at what really is important and not just finances.

    >> we have two success stories right here on the couch. and i'm just going to be blunt and you know this. first you don't like the term mail order brides , do you?

    >> it's not right.

    >> why is it not right?

    >> it's a stigma, it's been around for years, you can't just put a woman in a box and bring her over and if you don't like her, send her back. you can go to all kinds of sites and they all have international profiles on them. but with aforeign affair, we specialize in how to do this right.

    >> the concept freaks some people out here. you know why, they see this as kind of a blending of exotic travel and prostitution, that's what they think. why are they wrong?

    >> this is so exciting to bring this up. because i had to deal with this when i first considered going overseas. i first became enamored with the people who engaged me with their sincerity. so when i looked at actually doing this, my friends are like, you're crazy, they just want to rip you off. and the criticism, i had to just get past it because the truth of the matter is, i was fascinated and engaged with now wanting to find a romantic relationship with somebody overseas.

    >> what is it from your side of this? i mean was that you could not find suitable partners in your home countries ? what was it about the lure of an american man? did this kind of set up a catalog situation bother you?

    >> it's beautiful to find somebody and let me ask you a question. if you're from new york and you're looking for somebody from california, and it's about six hours flight, that's okay, right? it's different state, it's perfectly fine. if it's from new york, six hours to st. petersberg, what a difference it makes?

    >> john, let me ask you, did you not have luck finding someone here in the united states ?

    >> i had relationships in the united states . i was in a seven-year relationship before tanya. i walked up to her table and i thought she was the most beautiful woman i had ever seen and she said, i'm just here to drink champagne. i gave her champagne.

    >> are these equal relationships? i think there's a misconception that these relationships are set up to give the men the upper hand.

    >> she's better educated than me.

    >> i have the upper hand.

    >> you're the upper hand in this relationship? anna, what about this idea, that by coming to this country with your wallet open, coming back to his country, that he's the one in charge.

    >> in the ukraine, i have plenty of dates, but i never could find a connection. when i met marc, it wasn't that i was desperate for an american, it was from all different countries, there were some russian guys, chinese guy guys, german guys. we just want peace.

    >> the issue that we talked about this so many times because she dated younger guys who were handsome and thin and very attractive so why would she want to sign up with a marriage agency to come find somebody else, right? if it's not for money.

    >> i never heard that term.

    >> i appreciate you sharing your

updated 1/11/2011 10:28:38 AM ET 2011-01-11T15:28:38

Times are good for Joseph Weiner. The former investment banker and Wharton MBA lives with his wife of 27 years in a three-bedroom London townhouse. When he isn't lounging in his private garden, Weiner spends his free time playing tennis at the exclusive Hurlingham Club and gliding around town in his Lexus. Though he doesn't claim to be a philosopher, Weiner's insight into the human heart has led to a lucrative second career as a matchmaker and packager of amorous adventures. "Every guy wants a beautiful younger woman," he explains. "It's the nature of us."

Fourteen years ago, Weiner, 73, founded Hand-In-Hand, a London-based matchmaking agency that charges male customers up to $2,000 for a "supervised courtship" — a process that matches them with younger Eastern European women. Hand-In-Hand has since grown into a multinational operation with 30 satellite offices from the U.S. to Abu Dhabi. "We're still opening up franchises, and business is booming," says Weiner in his thick New York accent. "Financial problems are the biggest cause of divorce. There are more financial problems now. There are more people available!"

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In the age of globalization, the international matchmaking industry — still known in many circles as the mail-order bride trade — is thriving like never before. The Tahirih Justice Center, a nonprofit organization in Falls Church, Va., that protects immigrant women, estimates that the number of mail-order marriages in the U.S. more than doubled between 1999 and 2007, when up to 16,500 such unions were sealed.

International matchmakers are now a growing segment of the U.S. online dating industry, which, according to market research firm IBISWorld, racked up more than $2 billion in 2010 revenue. Since the recession began, "we've seen more men sign up," says John Adams, the co-founder of Phoenix-based A Foreign Affair, which charges $4,000 for the right to attend champagne-soaked "socials" in various Eastern European cities. The company estimates it sparked nearly 1,000 engagements this year. "Men evaluate their lives a little more closely when the economy becomes more difficult. They look at what's really important to them and try to find that one person they want to spend the rest of their lives with." Adams would know. He met his wife, Tanya, at a 1997 St. Petersburg social sponsored by his own company.

Anthony Redpath
In the age of globalization, the international matchmaking industry — still known in many circles as the mail-order bride trade — is thriving like never before.

Amid the proliferation of dating websites and matchmaking reality shows, venturing abroad for love has taken on a more acceptable mien. International matchmakers have succeeded, in part, by targeting middle-aged men who find dating troublesome — men who, according to Weiner, "don't have the money to go out on dates and go on weekends to Vegas and Atlantic City. They want someone to take care of them." While they might not have the means to secure a more conveniently located trophy wife, they must have enough money to travel to Eastern Europe and spend thousands for a shot at eternal bliss. Though love may be priceless, notes Weiner, "$2,000 to get a beautiful woman — it's a bargain!" According to David L. Knabel, the owner and president of Louisville-based matchmaker A Volga Girl, "It's no different than a dating site in the U.S.—except it's international marriage."

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In 2007, Ben Baligad hit a dry spell. The divorced 53-year-old eschewed the San Diego dating scene after discovering Ukraine's favorable gender ratio — 0.92 males for every female between ages 15 and 64, according to the State Statistics Committee of Ukraine. After enlisting companies such as Global Ladies and Army of Brides, the insurance salesman made three trips to Ukraine. The third time was the charm: Baligad met his potential future wife, Natalya Chuprina, 18 years his junior. "I'm planning on bringing her to the U.S. as soon as I get my finances straight," he says.

By pulling on the heartstrings of single men, the mail-order bride industry has at its disposal untold financial opportunities. In addition to membership fees — which run $29.95 per month at A Foreign Affair — and "romance tours" that can cost suitors thousands, many sites charge between $6 and $8 to translate each e-mail exchanged between interlocutors, and even more for phone and instant message translation. Some companies, like Hand-In-Hand, have also expanded into same-sex international matchmaking. "We've been doing gay business for about a year and a half," boasts Weiner.

Though every site claims to police its users, scams are common. Les Vancil, the founder of Easy Ukraine, an Ohio-based site targeting men traveling abroad for matchmaking opportunities, says the problems lie with the Eastern European agencies contracted to recruit women. Vancil asserts these companies post fake profiles, ratchet up prices for translation, and sometimes impersonate women to ask for money.

When customers complain, matchmakers "wipe their hands clean," says Steve Ewald, a Detroit accountant who stopped using such sites after several unsatisfying experiences. They blame the agencies, he claims, who blame the women. Ben Baligad says the agency that helped him communicate with his girlfriend skimmed 10 percent off the money he sent her for train fare and phone bills. He also suspects it posed as her in e-mails demanding he pay for a pricey apartment rental for his visit. He hasn't brought it up with his girlfriend, though. "I think she thinks I will get angry," he says.

The arrangement can be far worse for the women involved. After a few highly publicized murders of women brought to America through international matchmakers, the U.S. passed the International Marriage Broker Regulation Act of 2005 (IMBRA). The statute requires background checks on U.S. citizens before communication via the matchmakers. Those who fail to comply cannot obtain a Form I-129F, Petition for Alien Fiancé(e).

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However, couples can get around this obstacle by claiming they met through other avenues. There also tends to be little enforcement of IMBRA when the agencies are based outside the U.S. (Hand-In-Hand, for example, is registered in St. Kitts.) "The mail-order bride industry is a softer version of human trafficking," says Sonia Ossorio, executive director of the New York City chapter of the National Organization for Women. Ossorio also acknowledges that some relationships work out — but perhaps not in a way that would please Betty Friedan. "A lot of people who are attracted to it are just looking for a woman who's docile and obedient," she says.

For some companies, such submissiveness is a selling point. Hand-In-Hand's website trumpets the fact that its females are "unspoiled by feminism." Company founder Weiner argues this form of chauvinism — like the mail-order bride business itself — is economically motivated. "You take a beautiful woman from the Czech Republic and you bring her into your home, she does all your cooking and cleaning and ironing," he says. "At the end of the day, the service is free." Hand-In-Hand estimates the potential savings of a homemaking wife at $150 per week.

Women from economically troubled regions also take part in order to secure an American visa. "People around the world still view the U.S. as a highly favorable place to live," says A Foreign Affair's Adams. His wife agrees. "I worked a lot before, but then I was waking up at nine in the morning and was like, 'Whoa, what do I have to do now?' " says Tanya Adams, who remains a supporter of the company. "I even recommended it to my niece."

Perhaps love can always find a way. Most sites claim a 75 percent or greater success rate, and this boundless quest for passion — one inflamed by hard times — continues to benefit matchmaking entrepreneurs. "Wonderful times for me," Weiner says. "I can't complain."

Copyright © 2012 Bloomberg L.P.All rights reserved.


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