>>>
this morning on "today's" family, one couple's remarkable journey to parenthood that led to a very special memory.
>> reporter:
what many modern families, the road to parenthood was a complicated one for mel any and wanted to be a mom and i always knew that. it made me really angry when i was struggling with infertility.
>>
you start to come to the conclusion that it's not likely to succeed, you have to look at alternatives and we ended up settling on third party reproduction.
>>
i think that it's much easier for them to give us the child when they don't have a genetic connection to it and it doesn't have a genetic connection to their children.
>>
melanie
and
michael
hoped for twins, but were scared about adding risk to an already
high risk
pregnancy.
>>
my name is thea and i'm the
gestational carrier
for violent.
>>
my name is
melissa
and i also am a
gestational carrier
for kim.
>>
with a
baby boy
and girl born five days apart,
melanie
and
michael
are parents of not only twins but siblings.
>>
although they are close genetic siblings, their occasionoccasion occasion -- they were carried by two surrogates.
>>
for the first time in my life i'll be able to help somebody be a mother.
>>
i think it was a great experience for
melanie
and
michael
who was born a couple of days before violent.
michael
did a great job cutting the cord and it was a very peaceful experience for them and myself.
>>
i have never been helped in such a profound way by a stranger before. it felt like an incredibly auspicious way to start your children's lives.
>>
i always wanted to be a father, but it's been a complete astonishment to me how joyful it has been to actually be a parent and to have a relationship with the children. i didn't know that i would enjoy it as much as i do. it's amazing.
>>
look at that doll face.
melanie
wrote about her story. good morning to you all.
melanie
has
michael
pointed out in the piece, you went through six in vitro fertilization and you explored adoption. how did you reach the decision that we're going to go to
plan b
which is to find an
egg donor
and surrogates, really not surrogates, they're gestational carriers because the egg is not their own.
>>
it was like falling off a cliff in
slow motion
. we had a lot of time to gradually face the fact that it wasn't going to work for us. and we explored adoption and were very discouraged about our prospects and i worked with a counselor at our
fertility clinic
and we began to realize that it could be a solution for us. at first it seemed very scary. it seemed very alien and --
>>
what was scary about.
>>
it it sounded very alien and science fictiony. i remained very fearful about it right until i met the three women who helped us, until they came forward.
melissa
, thea and the
young woman
in my piece i call the fairy god donor. and as soon as you meet the people, it transforms from this cold technical thing to this amazing human experience where you can't believe that strangers are going to solve the greatest sadness of your life.
>>
and before you met them, these were strangers. the and the
egg donor
you found through your fertility doctor. there was a time you spent getting to know each other before you went through with this, right.
>>
yes.
>>
why was that important?
>>
for me it was important to get to know
melanie
and
michael
and be sure these were the right people to help.
>>
you had never done this before?
>>
i had never done this before and i wanted to make sure that we agreed on all the aspects of the circumstances that come into play in a situation like this. i wanted to make sure that we were a good fit for each over.
>>
you have two children, how did your families respond to this?
>>
i started talking with my children about this before we started looking for a family. you don't want to get to that point and then go, oh, wait, just kidding, i'm not going to give you the support.
>>
you don't want to have a
shotgun wedding
. this is the most important step you have taken in your life and you need to be absolutely confident of the people you're doing it with.
>>
your children are violet and karen are now four months old and they have a real relationship with thea and
melissa
and the
egg donor
? why is that important to you.
>>
every family that does it does it different and some people don't do it like this. but we feellike family and we feel it will be very positive for our children to know these people growing up and when we explain to them how they came to be, we want to say aunt thea and aunt
melissa
carried you in their tummy and we don't want them to say who is that?
>>
and the fact that you all know each other now, would you do it again?
>>
definitely. i think it would be a great opportunity as long as the right family came long. the time was right and everything
falls into
place.
>>
thank you so much. we'll be right back after this.
