Tiger Woods’ ex: I’ve been through hell

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   >>> with tiger woods ' ex- elin nordegren finally breaking her silence, we'll meet the "people" magazine writer who got the exclusive. first an update from nbc's peter alexander from the ridgewood country club in paramus, new jersey, where tiger is getting ready for a tournament.

   >> reporter: tiger woods will begin a practice round here at the barclays a short time from now. this will be his first tournament as a newly single man. he'll have a chance to speak to reporters afterwards if he chooses. his ex-wife, elin nordegren , has been remarkably silent about the scandal for the last nine months. but now she is speaking out for what she says will be the first and only time about that scandal saying she has no interest in being a public person but needed to set something straight. "i've been through hell." that's what elin nordegren told "people" magazine in an exclusive interview conducted for 19 hours over four days. the swedish-born 30-year-old says the stress of the relentless tiger woods sex scandal was all consuming, causing her insomnia and weight loss and in the days before the divorce was finalized this week, she says she began to lose her hair. as for her first reaction to tiger 's betrayal and the parade of reported mistresses, elin explained, absolute shock and disbelief. i felt stupid as more things were revealed. how could i not have known anything? the word betrayal isn't strong enough, she added. i felt like my whole world had fallen apart. it was a world this shy and private former model and nanny said she never had any intention of being a part of. but elin told "people" everything changed when she met tiger . i loved him. we had so much fun, she said, and i felt safe with him. she insists there was never any violence in their relationship and last november on that night of tiger 's mysterious crash, elin says she was trying to get her husband out of the locked car. the speculation that i would have use add golf club to hit him is truly ridiculous.

   >> this time i have a prepared written statement which i shall stick to.

   >> reporter: still, on "saturday night live" and elsewhere, the late night comedians had a field day . these days elin admits laughing at those parodies. pretty hysterical, she says, even if they were totally untrue. elin says she and tiger tried for months to reconcile before she concluded that a marriage without trust and love was good for no one. aside from shared parenting of the couple's two young children, 3-year-old sam and 18-month-old charlie, the details of the divorce may never be known though some estimate elin may have received upwards of $100 million. she wouldn't address the agreement but explained money can't buy happiness or put my family back together. still, elin acknowledges it is making some things easier like the ability to devote her time to her children and to completing her bachelor's degree in psychology. despite that exclusive $2 million waterfront estate she recently purchased in stockholm close to her family, elin says she plans to raise the children in florida near their father who told "people" elin is a wonderful mother. i know that the two of us will do everything we can to help our children adjust to this new family situation. and despite all those tournaments greeting her husband with a kiss at the 18th green, elin admits one more significant change since tiger 's scandal broke. i have not watched one minute of golf. elin also says she doesn't plan to date anytime soon, telling "people" it's going to be just me and the kids for a little while but i believe in love because i've seen it. i've been there. ann, after all this time, she is still tremendously resilient.

   >> peter alexander this morning, thanks. sandra westfall wrote the cover story for this week's "people" magazine. good morning to you. so did elin reach out to you or did you actually reach out to her?

   >> she did. she and her team approached "people" magazine. she was interested in maybe once and one time only getting her side of the story out and telling a little bit about who she was and then it was a little back and forth. she was not immediately certain that she wanted to do it. it was tough. she has been silent more than the nine months. she's been silent for all the time she's known, dated, and been married to tiger woo.

   >> and yet she gave you 19 hours over the four days. there was a message she wanted to get out. what was it?

   >> she wanted people to get to know a little bit of her. so manister yoe types out there, misinformation. she said if i'm going to do this one time, let's really spend the time to make it right.

   >> so who is she then? what are the highlights in terms of her message?

   >> she really wanted people to know three things right off the bat. she's not violent. she's never hit him. she had no idea that any of this was going on as embarrassing as it is for her to admit that, she never suspected. she was busy being a mother. and lastly that this is a real marriage for her, that she believed that they were in love and that they were going to be a family forever.

   >> and she also talked about how hard this was for her.

   >> one can only imagine the crucible she has been in with all the headlines, relentless headlines. and yet she, you know, carried on with the business of being a mother. she said she stayed strong for her kids and that it was only at night she would in the privacy of her own bedroom break down and be alone with her feelings. she spent a lot of time journalling on her computer. she likes to write. she finds that therapeutic and as a psychology student she took an academic approach to her healing and sought counseling, intensive counseling, she said. she was not embarrassed to admit that. she says she doesn't think there should be a stigma. she went through hell and needed help.

   >> given how quiet and protective this family has been of its privacy, what wouldn't she talk about?

   >> she didn't want to get into details about what happened on thanksgiving night. there's a police report and that's going to speak for itself. she only wanted people to know she never hit him and she's never committed an act much of violence. she didn't want to talk about obviously the details of the divorce settlement. all she would say is money can't buy happiness or put my family back together. this was never about money.

   >> she acknowledges the settlement involved more than $100 million, is that right?

   >> she never talked numbers.

   >> oh.

   >> it's been estimated and reported out there it was more than $100 million. nowhere near the $750 million number that's been out there. but she's very unself-conscious about the fact, yes, she is going to be a very wealthy woman. it will make it easier for her to get through this because she can stay home with her children. she doesn't have to go right out and get a job. and she can travel to take her children back to sweden to visit with cousins and grandparents. but she has every intention of having a job some day. she wants to get her masters in psychology and put that to work in some way helping children of broken families.

   >> interesting. is this something that is new, this idea of sipsychology and broken families or is this something she has been wanting to do for some time?

   >> she has been a student since she married him. she has been taking college classes down in florida, usually night classes so that it's after the kids have been set and gone to bed. and she's been chipping away at her degree. she has about 40 credits left to get her bachelor's in psychology. so all this time the world has known her as former swimsuit model and nanny, she has actually been a college student and mother of two.

   >> and so when you take away from all of this, it sounds as though this is a woman who has gone public now finally to kind of set right the course that she wants to take from here for her children and for herself.

   >> absolutely and she says being a private person is the only normalcy i've been able to give my kids given that they have such a famous father, but she is stepping out one time and then she plans to return to being a completely private person. she said i'm not a celebrity. i don't want to be.

   >> do you know what the -- i think we do know what the living arrangements are, do we not? she will be staying in orlando, is that right, to raise the children?

   >> tiger had -- they've been building that dream house for the family down in southern florida , and so his plan has always been to occupy that house. and she's going to move down there with him. she's not with him. she's going to buy her own house. she said she looks forward to being in a house where all the kids want to hang out. she's going to do that, committed to what's best for her children, move down closer to where he'll be so that they can maintain a relationship.

   >> well, that certainly seems like it would be the best thing for the children.

   >> a remarkably strong woman .

   >> thank you so much for joining us this morning. congratulations

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