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Video: Tori Spelling: ‘I do not have an eating disorder’

  1. Transcript of: Tori Spelling: ‘I do not have an eating disorder’

    ANN CURRY, co-host: Back now at 8:18 with actress Tori Spelling . She became a household name in the 1990s with the popular show " Beverly Hills 90210 " and now she's the star of her own reality show , and she's just written her third book, it's called " Uncharted Territori ." Tori Spelling , good morning to you.

    Ms. TORI SPELLING: Good morning.

    CURRY: "Uncharted Territori" because your life has taken turns you didn't expect.

    Ms. SPELLING: It's funny. I always try to think of new names for my books to incorporate my name into it, so it's like what came first, the chicken or the egg . The title came first and I thought, oh, it'll just be a book about, you know, my new life now evolving, motherhood. And actually as I was writing, things started to unfold. My health, reconciliation with my mom, my marriage kind of was on the rocks. So it was all these things started coming out. And I was like, wow, I really am in uncharted territory.

    CURRY: Let's take these issues one by one...

    Ms. SPELLING: Yeah.

    CURRY: ...because about your health, a lot of people worry about your health. In fact, I know this, that you actually took on the press about this. There was a -- there was a tabloid magazine that wrote about you being 97 pounds, I think it said -- 95 pounds. And you tweeted back, "no I'm not, I'm 107 pounds"...

    Ms. SPELLING: Right.

    CURRY: ...and you were pretty angry about that. Now why would you take on the press and actually, were you really 107 pounds?

    Ms. SPELLING: Well, it's important, I think, just because I feel like at this point in my life I'm a role model for a lot of women out there and I have a daughter of my own. So, you know, being labeled as being too thin, having an eating disorder, it's definitely something I want to address because that's not what's going on.

    CURRY: Well, do you have an eating disorder?

    Ms. SPELLING: I do not, I do not. But I -- actually I tell the story in my book, I was so angry that I fired back on Twitter at Star saying, "I'm 107." And I was like, ` Shoot , I'm really 104.' And then I thought, `Why did I just lie about three pounds?' I was like, `Well, I just go so mad I thought those three pounds added something.'

    CURRY: Hm.

    Ms. SPELLING: A lot of weight to me, so it's a pretty funny story in the book.

    CURRY: But it's kind of a burden then. People are sort of -- you understand then, if you -- if you lied about that, you understand that this is an issue that you're feeling defensive about.

    Ms. SPELLING: No, absolutely, because I'm labeled it all the time. I think people don't really understand how much it hurts. You know, they understand that it hurts to call people overweight, but when you call someone underweight it's just as horrible. It -- you know, it really knocks down your self-confidence.

    CURRY: Meantime, perhaps maybe your self-confidence has taken a step up now that you reconciled to some degree with your mother.

    Ms. SPELLING: Yes.

    CURRY: Is that right? How is that going now?

    Ms. SPELLING: It's going great, and family, you really realize when you have kids how important family is. And they changed everything. I mean, we came to the point where we thought the past is the past, let's move forward for their sake, and it's the best thing we've ever done.

    CURRY: And you tried to also do that with your husband, Dean, because you were, in your reality show ...

    Ms. SPELLING: Yeah.

    CURRY: ...we talked about this before, you know, you really reveal a lot of the ups and downs of your life, and now you have basically renewed your vows...

    Ms. SPELLING: We did.

    CURRY: ...this past March, is it?

    Ms. SPELLING: May.

    CURRY: May.

    Ms. SPELLING: Yep.

    CURRY: And the video of it is just beautiful.

    Ms. SPELLING: Thank you.

    CURRY: But why did you want to do that? What...

    Ms. SPELLING: It was a tough year. Four years into a marriage, I think the best advice I could give to people getting married is talk about what you want to do as parents when you one day have kids...

    CURRY: Hm.

    Ms. SPELLING: ...because, you know, we thought we're the perfect couple, we get along. We never discussed parenting issues and then all of a sudden you have two kids in a short amount of time and you realize you have different views on how to raise them. And that's really where our breakdown of communication started to happen. So it was a hard year. We got back on track and we really want it to be like a rebirth. So we renewed.

    CURRY: You raise you children, and I wonder, you know, sometimes I wonder when I watch you...

    Ms. SPELLING: Mm-hmm.

    CURRY: ...I think, you have been raised, your entire life really, pretty much, in front of a camera.

    Ms. SPELLING: Yes.

    CURRY: You don't know any other way.

    Ms. SPELLING: This is true.

    CURRY: And yet -- and you have said about yourself that you finally have come to realize -- you write this in the book -- that you realize that you have become a brand.

    Ms. SPELLING: Yes.

    CURRY: Right. And so the difference -- but then why would you then raise your own children under that same kind of spotlight? Why not give them the chance of having the private life that you don't

    Ms. SPELLING: Absolutely.

    CURRY: I mean, I'm not judging.

    Ms. SPELLING: No, no, no.

    CURRY: I'm just asking you.

    Ms. SPELLING: No, and a lot of people ask that question. The thing is, the reality show has been a blessing for us. It not only shows people how relatable we are, but we get to stay together as a family, and that's what's most important. They're two and three and they're in a comfortable zone, it's all family, we have a very small crew. When they get old enough, they don't want to be a part of it, the show's done. And I tell them that all the time.

    CURRY: All right. Well, the book is called " Uncharted Territori ." Tori Spelling , thanks for joining us this morning.

TODAY books
updated 6/16/2010 12:31:09 PM ET 2010-06-16T16:31:09

Tori Spelling finally has everything she thought she wanted — a loving family and a successful career — but it wasn’t always easy. In her new book, “Uncharted TerriTori,” the star opens up about her struggle to balance work, marriage, motherhood and reality TV cameras all while learning to find her happy ending. An excerpt.

A few weeks ago my friend Jacob was flying Virgin American from New York to L.A. As the plane began its final descent into LAX, the cute and obviously gay lead flight attendant made an announcement to the cabin. He said, “Welcome to Los Angeles, birthplace and residence of Tori Spelling.” When my friend reported this story to me via email, I thought it was hilarious, but I also didn’t know exactly what to make of it. I was born in L.A. Fact. I still live here. Fact. But on what grounds is that of common interest to an airplane full of diverse travelers? Is it a compliment? Is it a joke? A little of both? Of all the famous people, of all the actors, of all the tabloid darlings, of all the gay icons (if I can call myself that), why me?

Video: Tori Spelling dismisses divorce rumors But as someone who produces and stars in a show that follows my daily life for the entertainment of millions of people (holy crap!), I can’t spend too long on questions like that. After “90210” and so many TV movies, my career had slowed, and recently, in my reality show, it has found new life. The name Tori Spelling draws viewers, and it sells magazines, books, a jewelry line, a children’s clothing line. And my name also, apparently, occasionally welcomes certain unsuspecting travelers as they arrive in Los Angeles. So it goes. I’ve come to accept that the small moments of my life, my relationship, my family, my business ventures — usually in edited, broadcast form — are a spectacle. My life is a show. My self is my business. My name is my brand. It’s a weird way to live, and maybe I’ll never get used to it, but at the same time business is booming. My life has changed dramatically in the past several years. I married Dean; we moved several times; we had two children; we created a show that has gone into its fifth season on the air. I have love. I have a family. I have a home. I have work. It’s all I ever wished for. But trying to be a perfect wife, mother, and mini mogul has its challenges, especially if, like me, you want to be perfect at all of them at the same time.

Turns out I’m officially a workaholic. I think I’ve always been a bit more driven than anybody realized, myself included. I have ideas. I want to try new things. I see business opportunities. The difference is that before “Tori & Dean” was a success, nobody ever cared what harebrained scheme I was dreaming up. Nobody expected anything of me. Nobody took me seriously. Nobody would have wanted to partner with me. I didn’t have the means to make any of it come to pass. Now I have the power. Now there’s no excuse not to act on a big idea. Now I can back it up. I have a show. I have two successful lines. I have two bestselling books. I own a well-known brand. (You know, Tori Spelling. Who’d a thunk it?)

I was poised to be a workaholic. In the seven years between “90210” and “Tori & Dean,” my acting work came and went. Being an underemployed actor as I was puts the fear in you. I am nobody. I’ll never work again. If I can just get a break I’ll make the most of it, I swear. I developed a strike-while-the-iron’s-hot mentality. I don’t want to miss a single opportunity.

I’m finally in a position where ideas that I have can actually blossom into businesses. When I shop for new bedding, I can’t help thinking, Maybe I could do a line of Hollywood Regency-inspired shams. I spend a day doing crafts with the kids and start fantasizing about developing a kids’ crafts show or magazine sharing the joys of homemade play dough and pipe cleaner animals. I cook dinner and envision a recipe book with my nanny’s special shepherd’s pie. I hobble out of an event, barefoot, with four-inch heels in hand, and fantasize about Tori Spelling–branded disposable micro flip-flops. (Somebody please run with that.)

Slideshow: Tori Spelling: Back to Beverly Hills I want to do a show with Dean where we put together dream weddings on a budget: it’s on! There’s an opportunity for me to do the talk show I’ve always dreamed of? So what if it’s all day, every day, forty-four weeks a year, I want to do it! My agent’s worried I’m going to drop dead. Can we clone me? I wonder. Nah, the clone wouldn’t do it right. Yeah, I got the whole workaholic package, which means I’m so completely incapable of delegating that I couldn’t even delegate to my own clone. People talk all the time about leaving work behind at the end of the day, about how important it is to draw a dividing line between your job and your life. But my job is to be Tori Spelling. I can’t exactly take a break. In some ways I feel like I’m turning into my father. Dad was a workaholic. He was productive, work was lucrative, but it never stopped. When I was little I hardly noticed. I thought every father came home long after dinner and baths were over, just in time to kiss his children good night.

Even late in his career, my father never stopped caring about every detail of every show. On weekends he would come home with a briefcase full of scripts. We’d go out to the pool together, I’d click open the briefcase, and we’d sit next to each other reading. He dog-eared the pages where he had notes, just as I now do with scripts. By the time he was finished with a script, every single page would be folded over and every line of the script would be rewritten. When we first started “90210” he even brought home Polaroids of the wardrobe options for Brenda and Brandon. He couldn’t delegate either.

Video: Spelling to Kathie Lee: ‘You inspired me’ Ultimately I feel like my father died because he could no longer work. When he stopped working he went quickly downhill. There was no adjusting to a new focus and pace at that age. He didn’t know how to just be.

Twitter — the way I use Twitter, is a perfect example of how it never stops, how I never stop. Sometimes Dean is sleeping next to me in bed while I tweet until one a.m. I tweet what I’ve prepared for the kids’ holiday parties at school. I post what movie I watched that night. I check to see how many followers I have. I check to see how many followers Brooke Burke and Denise Richards have (they’re in the big leagues, each with over a million followers). I’m obsessed with how many followers I have and what makes them decide to follow me or to stop following me. If I talk about cute things the kids are doing, my followers drop off. If I retweet news items, people sign on. If I don’t tweet for a day, I gain a hundred followers. When I posted that I watched “Paranormal Activity,” I gained fifty-six followers. Why, why, why?

I tell myself I’m doing it for the fans and for my business; I’m building my brand. And I do use Twitter that way. For Little Maven, my kids’ clothing line, I went on Twitter to do a model search. People posted photos of their children to Twitter, and I selected models for our look book — a catalogue for retail buyers — and website. My “followers” know that it’s me looking at the pictures. I’m the one who’s picking their kids. They know that I’m not doing a celebrity endorsement, that I’m actually at the helm of my business. And they also know that I’m the one who’s dropping my kids off at school. Because I tweet about it afterwards. It’s kind of like I’m stalking myself, but it doesn’t feel creepy. It makes me feel connected to people. If I’m going to be a brand, it’s nice to feel like people really know me. But I also see how my obsessive twittering can be unhealthy. Nothing is private, nothing is sacred. Dean is asleep next to me, and I should be sleeping too. I’m more stressed than I’ve ever been in my life.

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Video: Tori and Dean say they are ‘In Love’ I haven’t found a good balance, and (when he’s awake) it doesn’t sit well with Dean. A couple of nights ago Dean came into the kitchen and told me he’d run a bubble bath for me — an overt effort to get me to relax. Liam and Stella were running around the kitchen, waiting for me to make them dinner. Dean said, “Don’t worry, I’ve got it.” Dean is perfectly capable of making dinner for the kids. Nonetheless, I started pulling out the broccoli, rice, and hot dogs. Just to get him started. Dean stood there staring at me. “What are you doing?” he said, “I just said I’ve got it.” But I couldn’t stop myself.

I’m not just controlling when it comes to the kids. I came into the kitchen the other night to find Dean, who is self-sufficient in all things, eating a dinner he’d made for himself. When I saw him sitting there, alone at the table, I felt deflated. “I was going to do that for you,” I told him. I wanted to make dinner for him. I wanted us to eat together even if I got home too late. I want to be able to do everything. Then I’m resentful of having to do everything.

And that’s how it all implodes. Maybe this is what happens when you finally find success in a career that you love. Maybe it’s a side effect of having children. Maybe it’s my childhood coming back to haunt me. Whatever it is, it’s taking a toll on me, on my health, and on my family. I’m exhausted, if not sick, half the time. The rest of the time my marriage, my family, and my job together are my dream come true. But those two sides of my life — exhausted and elated — are constantly vying for Tori dominance (not quite as critical as world dominance but try telling that to my immune system). The struggle plays out in Malibu and Maui, on a tour of local L.A. hospitals and across the country in an RV. Somehow in realizing my dreams I’ve lost my ability to just be. My reality is my job, and that means that my work and my life are completely woven together. It all happened so quickly that I haven’t begun to establish any boundaries. My life is all out of balance, which has turned out to be a biggie. I got everything I thought I wanted ... and it practically destroyed me. I need to make a change. I don’t know how and when I’ll do it, but that search is the challenge and the journey.

Excerpted from "uncharted terriTORI" by Tori Spelling. Copyright (c) 2010, reprinted with permission from Simon and Schuster.

© 2012 MSNBC Interactive

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