20 secrets your waiter will never tell you

Reader’s Digest gets the scoop on what’s really going on in restaurants

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>>> a little variety. *

>>> if you feel like going out to dinner tonight, you might want to listen to this first. the editors of readers's digest asks a dozen waiters from across the country to spill the beans on what really goes on in restaurants. the local editor in chief of "readers's digest," good morning. how did you find these waiters and waitresses and do you think they really spilled the beans?

>> oh, yes. we interviewed 25 people around the country, some of them were ex-waiters and waitresses. some are active bloggers so you can find this out for yourself. but patterns started to emerge. that's when we knew we were preelly on to something.

>> one of the things you found you were on to, there are lies. little white lies ?

>> yes.

>> about what?

>> is the coffee hot? oh, yes. is it homemade? yeah, but not by us. every now and then you might find somebody that would raise a fib to get more tips. you're working on christmas, why are you here? my sister's in the hospital. they might tell a fib to boost their tips.

>> waiters get annoyed. what's the repercussion of that?

>> well, waiters can do a little drive-by, listen in on your conversation. they can make fun of you if the back. that was one of the things i noticed. if you're having a fight with your husband and suddenly you're getting really good service, that's probably because all of the waiters are coming by to find what you're saying.

>> oh, my gosh! okay. also asking for something like hot tea can be a major headache. that may make them hungry.

>> hot tea. that really surprised me because i'm a tea drinker. i thought what could be so hard about this? you're not doing it. you're just boiling the water. well they haven't streamlined it the way they did with coffee, they have to go get the lemon, the honey, the assortment of tea.

>> that might make them cranky. never snap, never whistle. you also say what's homemade may not be homemade but things you may think that are homemade like the soup are not necessarily homemade.

>> well, i once worked in a resort kitchen. indeed, our "homemade" clam chowder came out of an industrial strength bucket. to which we added a little pat of butter to make it look like it had just come off the stove.

>> the story you heard about what may be homemade cake?

>> costco cakes sold for $10 a slice in a restaurant. that's a rare thing but --

>> that has to be pretty rare. it said homemade. so basically we want to have our food very fresh and you have also learned some tips about when to order what if you want freshness.

>> right. i think a lot of people know that fish does not get delivered fresh every day so for example, sunday and monday you're not very likely going to get fresh fish. you have to be careful about that. also the chef special can sometimes be the thing that they really need to get rid of. it's fresh but only for another minute or two.

>> okay. now where we get down to brass tacks. if you're a germa-phobe.

>> they don't really wash the lemons, they cut them up and everybody touches them. in through season, i'm just not doing lemons.

>> in terms of getting the best service and the best meal, think about how you behave toward your waiter and waitress. what are tips there?

>> absolutely. it is important to be nice. these folks are very busy and they're not working for a lot of money. they're working for their tips. can you get a much better experience if you treat server like a person. treat them the way you would like to be treated. recognize that if you're stiffing them on the tip you're probably stiffing the entire organization. it might not be the server's fault. always better to speak to the manager. and sometimes you can get a great experience by just saying to your server, it's a special occasion for me, it is my husband's birthday, can you help me make this something special.

>> you're not recommending we lie about that. but having been a waitress, i think that being nice, having -- being engaged is a great tip. thank you so much for your information.

>>> coming up this morning still,

Show transcript

By Michelle Crouch, Reader's Digest

TODAY

updated 11/30/2009 9:22:07 AM ET

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What would two dozen servers from across the country tell you if they could get away with it? Well, for starters, when to go out, what not to order, what really happens behind the kitchen’s swinging doors, and what they think of you and your tips. Here, from a group that clears a median $8.01 an hour in wages and tips, a few revelations that aren’t on any menu.

What we lie about
1. We’re not allowed to tell our customers we don’t like a dish. So if you ask your server how something is and she says, “It’s one of our most popular dishes,” chances are she doesn’t like it.
—Waitress at a well-known pizza chain

2. On Christmas Day, when people ask why I’m there, I might say, “My sister’s been in the hospital,” or, “My brother’s off to war, so we’re celebrating when he gets back.” Then I rake in the tips.
—Chris, a New York City waiter and the founder of bitterwaitress.com

3. If you’re looking for your waiter and another waiter tells you he’s getting something out of the stockroom, you can bet he’s out back having a quick smoke.
—Charlie Kondek, former waiter at a Denny’s in Central Michigan

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4. If someone orders a frozen drink that’s annoying to make, I’ll say, “Oh, we’re out. Sorry!” when really I just don’t want to make it. But if you order water instead of another drink, suddenly we do have what you originally wanted because I don’t want to lose your drink on the bill.
—Waitress at a casual Mexican restaurant in Manhattan

What you don’t want to know
5. When I was at one bakery restaurant, they used to make this really yummy peach cobbler in a big tray. A lot of times, servers don’t have time to eat. So we all kept a fork in our aprons, and as we cruised through the kitchen, we’d stick our fork in the cobbler and take a bite. We’d use the same fork each time.
—Kathy Kniss

6. If you make a big fuss about sending your soup back because it’s not hot enough, we like to take your spoon and run it under really hot water, so when you put the hot spoon in your mouth, you’re going to get the impression — often the very painful impression — that your soup is indeed hot.
—Chris

7. I’ve seen some horrible things done to people’s food: steaks dropped on the floor, butter dipped in the dishwater.
—Waiter at a casual restaurant in the Chicago area

What you’re really swallowing
8. If your dessert says “homemade,” it probably is. But it might be homemade at a bakery three miles away.
—Charity Ohlund

9. I knew one guy — he was a real jerk — he’d go to Costco and buy this gigantic carrot cake for $10 and tell us to say it’s homemade. Then he sold it for $10 a slice.
—Steve Dublanica, veteran New York waiter and author of "Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip — Confessions of a Cynical Waiter"

What drives us crazy
10. Oh, you needed more water so badly, you had to snap or tap or whistle? I’ll be right back … in ten minutes.
—Charity Ohlund

11. We want you to enjoy yourself while you’re there eating, but when it’s over, you should go. Do you stay in the movie theater after the credits? No.
—Waiter at a casual restaurant in the Chicago area

12. My biggest pet peeve? When I walk up to a table of six or seven people and one person decides everyone needs water. I’m making a trip to deliver seven waters, and four or five of them never get touched.
—Judi Santana, a server for ten years

What we want you to know
13. Sometimes, if you’ve been especially nice to me, I’ll tell the bartender, “Give me a frozen margarita, and don’t put it in.” That totally gyps the company, but it helps me because you’ll give it back to me in tips, and the management won’t know the difference.
—Waitress at a casual Mexican restaurant in Manhattan

14. If you’re having a disagreement over dinner and all of a sudden other servers come by to refill your water or clear your plates, or you notice a server slowly refilling the salt and pepper shakers at the table next to yours, assume that we’re listening.
—Charity Ohlund

What tells us you’re trouble
15. I get this call all the time: “Is the chef there? This is so-and-so. I’m a good friend of his.” If you’re his good friend, you’d have his cell.
—Chris

16. The strangest thing I’ve seen lately? A man with a prosthetic arm asked me to coat check it because the table was a little bit crowded. He just removed his arm and handed it to me: “Can you take this?”
—Christopher Fehlinger

17. We always check the reservation book, scan the names, and hope for someone recognizable. I’m happy if the notes say something like “Previous number of reservations: 92.” If they say something like “First-time guest, celebrating Grandma’s 80th birthday, need two high chairs, split checks, gluten allergy,” then I start rummaging through my pockets for a crisp bill for the hostess and I make sure to tell her how much I love her hair fixed like that.
—Charity Ohlund

How to be a good customer
18. Use your waiter’s name. When I say, “Hi, my name is JR, and I’ll be taking care of you,” it’s great when you say, “Hi, JR. How are you doing tonight?” Then, the next time you go in, ask for that waiter. He may not remember you, but if you requested him, he’s going to give you really special service.
—JR, waiter at a fine-dining restaurant and author of the blog servernotslave.wordpress.com

19. Trust your waitress. Say something like “Hey, it’s our first time in. We want you to create an experience for us. Here’s our budget.” Your server will go crazy for you.
— Charity Ohlund

What you need to know about tipping
20. If you walk out with the slip you wrote the tip on and leave behind the blank one, the server gets nothing. It happens all the time, especially with people who’ve had a few bottles of wine.
—Judi Santana