Leave it to attention grabbing, musical genius Phil Spector to come up with a grooming technique so hideous it could distract the masses from a murder trial. Phil’s 2005 Gary Spivey
-inspired “Wall of Hair
” grabbed at least as many headlines as his courtroom drama. Two years later the production innovator/accused killer traded the shocking shag for a bleached blonde “Ellen
” do. By the time the judge declared a mistrial Phil adopted a conservative-for-him brunette variation of that last look. True crime buff and ’60s girl group fans can look forward to the next round of hirsute horrors when the retrial kicks off later this year.
They say money can’t buy good taste, but boisterous billionaire Donald Trump is living proof that it can’t buy a good hairstyle either. Then again, what self-respecting coiffeur would allow a high-profile client leave the salon sporting that auburn pile of spun-sugar on his head? None. Turns out, the Donald’s never had a stylist. The pioneer of the comb-forward-and-back-again came up with that mess all on his own. And, flying in the face of popular opinion, he doesn’t really see anything wrong with it. “I don't say my hair is my greatest strength in the world, but it's not terrible,” he told Newsweek
of his perma-poof in 2004.
Back in the blow-dried and camera-ready days of yore, Britney Spears would have never landed on a list like this. Sure, she’s been through a lot since then. Luckily for Brit, she appears to be on her way to her next heyday. Her hair, on the other hand, still has a long way to go if it’s going to recover from that 2007
incident. Her subsequent attempts to conceal the close-cropped look set her on an unbeweavable adventure in bad hair days and exposed rows. See, the trick with a tacked on tresses is to style one’s hair in such a way as to hide the evidence. Britney, clearly, didn’t get that memo
Remember Clay Aiken in his early “American Idol” days
? He was just a sweet, scrawny kid with spiky hair and dark caterpillar eyebrows. Flash-forward through five years of mind-blowing makeovers and you’ll now see Clay’s own Spector-worthy bright blonde “Ode to Ellen
” (even the caterpillars molted into matchy-matchy flaxen features). The big problem with this, and all of his other hair don’ts, is the tendency toward flat iron abuse. The man can’t stand a wave or fluff or anything resembling the natural state of human hair. If only Clay would go with the flow.
With everything else she usually gets lumped in with her twin, but when comes to horrible hair, Mary-Kate Olsen stands apart. Curtains of wavy, uncombed, dirty-blonde hair hang down half the length of her tiny body, except for the few times she tries to mix it up. Most recently Michelle Tanner’s grubbier half went for an exotic twist on her usual I-couldn’t-care-less look by teaming it up with a jumbo donut-like headband
. In her defense, her goal may have been to draw attention from her 10-sizes-too-big, woven op-art dress. In which case, kudos, MK!
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