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Explainer: The worst, most humiliating baby names

  • Image: Shocking baby names
    James Cheng  /  msnbc.com
    What would compel a parent to bestow a newborn with a name like “Cholera Peace” or “Pomegranate Purple”? Or an amusing choice like “Wanna Towell"? It’s not just Hollywood’s elite opting for unique, embarrassing names—throughout history, normal people separated their offspring from the masses with truly terrible names.

    In “Bad Baby Names,” Michael Sherrod and Matthew Rayback, of the genealogy Web site Ancestry.com, share thousands of shocking names given to real people, as recorded by the U.S. Census Bureau.

    Discover the funny names based around common themes, like diseases (Fever Bender), food (Bread White), pets (Good Dog), and if you thought Wednesday Addams was unfortunate — wait till you meet Monday Monday.

  • Bad baby names

  • Celebrities

    Forget Suri or Shiloh – celebrities have given their children far stranger names! Discover the stars' oddest, most bizarre baby names:

    Sparrow James Midnight Madden (Nicole Richie and Joel Madden)
    Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa (Lisa Bonet and Jason Momoa)
    Seraphina Rose Elizabeth (Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck)
    Bronx Mowgli (Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz)
    Zuma (Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale)
    Clementine Jane (Ethan Hawke and Ryan Shawhughes)
    Knox Leon (Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt)
    Sunday Rose (Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban)
    Apple (Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow)
    Moxie CrimeFighter (Magician Penn Jillette)
    Hopper (Sean Penn and Robin Wright)
    Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf)
    Sosie (Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick)
    Destry (Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw)
    Aurelius Cy (Elle Macpherson)
    Kal-El Coppola (Nicolas Cage)
    Bluebell Madonna (Spice Girl Geri Halliwell)
    Audio Science (Actress Shannyn Sossamon)
    Kyd (David Duchovny and Tea Leon)
    Fifi Trixibell (Bob Geldof and Paula Yates)
    Calico (Alice Cooper)
    Denim and Diezel Ky (Toni Braxton)
    Seargeoh and Sage Moonblood (Sylvester Stallone)
    Jermajesty (Jermaine Jackson)
    Hud and Spec Wildhorse (John Cougar Mellencamp and Elaine Irwin)
    Rebel, Racer and Rogue (Robert Rodriguez)
    Free (Barbara Hershey and David Carradine)
    Reignbeau (Ving Rhames)
    Draco Verta (Danica McKellar)
    Buddy Bear Maurice (Jamie Oliver)

  • Diseases

    You'd have to be really sick to infect your offspring with virulent names like these:

    Fever Bender (born 1856)
    Leper Priest (born 1929)
    Cholera Priest (born 1830 during the second cholera pandemic)
    Rubella Graves (born 1814)
    Typhus Black (born 1897)
    Hysteria Johnson (born 1881)
    Emma Royd (born 1850)
    Kathryn E. Coli (born 1894)
    Mumps Sykes (born 1891)

  • Professions

    With names like "Mayor Bland," it seems like some parents had high, ambitious hopes for their children's future.

    Cook Cook
    Governor Bush
    Lawyer Low
    Doctor Love
    Teacher Blackbear
    Judge Savage
    Editor Honeycutt
    Mayor Bland
    Sales O. Justice
    Gamble Moore

  • Sins

    The authors found 149 records for people named Lust, 70 for Greed, 12 for Sloth, and 830 for Pride. Which of the 7 deadlly sins was missing? Only gluttony.

    Lust Garten
    Greed Sister Mancini
    Avarice Sullivan
    Sloth Washton
    Wrath Gordon
    Envy Burger
    Pride Saint
    Greed McGrew
    Pride Saint
    Lust T. Castle

  • Irish luck

    Plenty of parents must have thought that naming their child Lucky would translate into a bright future. In 1930 alone, there are 463 Luckys.

    Some lucky favorites:
    Lucky Green
    Lucky Jewell
    Shamrock Hardeman of Illinois
    Shamrock Dates of Mississippi

    The religious types:
    Saint Patrick Blan
    Saint Patrick Forrest

    The patriotic:
    Ireland England
    Ireland Green
    Ireland Brew

    Rainbow Green
    Emerald Jewel
    Clover Field

    A St. Patrick’s Day feast:
    Beef Cooper
    Guinness Dack
    Cabbage Haywood

  • Foods

    Some parents loved eating so much, they named their kids after favorite meals, snacks—and even condiments:

    Lunch Magee
    Dinner Ware
    Bread White
    Hero Brat
    Mayo Head
    Mustard M. Mustard
    Pickle Parker
    Plum Sellers
    Banana Bowdy
    Cherry Grant

  • Simpson pranks

    Bart Simpson's prank calls to Moe's Tavern are nearly legendary, but the sad fact is that some people actually go through life with those goofy names. The following Bart creations all exist within the Ancestry.com databases:

    Al Caholic
    Oliver Clothesoff
    I.P. Freely
    Seymour Butz
    Mike Rotch
    Hugh Jass
    Amanda Hugginkiss
    Ivana Tinkle
    Anita Bath
    Maya Buttreeks

  • Your picks

    TODAY viewers share their kooky favorites, from unfortunate names like "Tyranny" to bizarre ones like "Cascade."

  • Part one

    Jus-N-Tyme. The mother said she made it to the hospital just in time for the baby boy to be born.
    — Anonymous, Birmingham, AL

    My husband and I had a deal. I'd name a girl and my husband would name a boy. We got a boy. His name is Judas Christian. I've relaxed about it, but several members of our families hate it.
    — Anonymous, Vancouver, WA

    Orangalo and Lamongalo. Jell-O was the only thing she could eat towards the end of her pregnancy.
    — Anonymous, Winston Salem, NC

    Violence is the name of a child born here in Howard County, IN. The doctors and the social workers tried talk them out of the name, but to no avail.
    — Anonymous, Kokomo, IN

    My mother's co-worker has a new grandson named West. I knew two young sisters named Truth and Justice, my teacher said "Now all they need is a brother named American Way."
    — Anonymous, Erie, PA

    I am a teacher and have had students named Holly Wood and Candy Kahne.
    — Amanda Oliver, Cornelius, NC

    A local official in Parkersburg, WV was named Harry Pitts.
    — Anonymous, Parkersburg, WV

    My grandmother was saddled with the name Vera Elvira. She was often serenaded by friends and family singing The Oakridge Boys 1981 hit "Elvira."
    — Diana Horst, Liverpool, NY

  • Part two

    A cousin of a friend of mine named her daughter Tyranny. My uncle (a police officer) locked up a woman named Sh*thead, only without the asterisk- pronounced Shi-TAYd.
    — Anonymous, Baltimore, MI

    About 20-25 years ago I knew a man who gave his son the name "Alias." His girlfriend, the mother of the child, apparently thought the name was pretty cool so there is a man now walking this earth named "Alias." This must raise some eyebrows when he fills out a job application or experiences a minor traffic stop. I don't even want to think about an encounter with Homeland Security.
    — Anonymous , Wilbraham, MA

    Brock Lee. I'm not sure what they were thinking! Or even if they thought about it until after the fact.
    — Lisa Stricker, Clarksburg, WV

    Pajama (pronounced pay-jeh-meh). [The mother] mentioned she was looking through a Sears catalog when she was pregnant and the name jumped out at her and she knew right then and there, this was to be her daughter's name. I asked her how to spell “Pay-jeh-meh” and she replied P-A-J-A-M-A. . I thought to myself, oh no! Her poor daughter is named after Sears catalog sleepwear.
    — John Panzella, San Diego, CA

    A daughter of a friend of the family named her two children Samurai and Abacus.
    — Anonymous, Elkridge, MD

  • Part three

    Roxanne Gravel. As in, "rocks and gravel".
    — Anonymous, L.A., CA

    Strange' pronounced (Straw ja')
    — Anonymous, Wynne, AR

    A friend of mine told me about a girl on a soccer team named "Levitra". Seriously. People were yelling, "Good job Levitra!"
    — Anonymous, Dublin, CA

    In grade school there was a boy in my class named Rusty Nail.
    — Anonymous, Stephens’s city, VA

    Someone where I used to work named his baby girl "Damya." Yes, really. Employees who saw the announcement on the bulletin board kept imagining the child on the playground, "Get down from there Damya!" The parents had perfectly normal names.
    — Anonymous, McDonald, TN

    My son has a friend named Cole. That is not so bad, but his last name is Deggs. Now say his name together Cole Deggs. The kids all called him Cold Eggs!
    — Teresa Walls, Ransomville, NY

    When I worked in retail, a young couple came in and were discussing their baby's name with an associate of mine. They wanted to name their child after a good friend, but they could not decide between two friends, Eric and Keith. So they squashed the name together and decided to name their child Erickeith. Seriously.
    — Anonymous, Marietta, OH

  • Part four

    The weirdest name I ever heard for a person is Catnip Moonbeam.
    — Anonymous, Ft Hood, TX

    I was once at a national park and heard this fake-blonde, trophy wife was yelling at her daughter. "Cascade! Cascade!" I knew she had thought the name sounded cool, trendy, and upper class. All I could think was, "great. You named your kid after a laundry detergent!"
    — Sandra Trisdale, San Diego, CA

    My Coworker was pregnant and I asked her if she had a name picked out yet. She said no, but she wanted to stay away from weird names, like the one her sister had given her niece. The name? Felanie. Like Melanie, but with an F. If there's such thing as cursing your child, I think that may take the cake.
    — Catherine Sullivan, Anchorage, AK

    Ripley and Nixon are names that will be given to twins to be born (c-section) in April.
    — Anonymous, Burleson, TX

    Nataz, that’s what she named her son. She thought it was "cool" that it is Satan spelled backwards.
    — Anonymous, Chico, CA

Discuss: Which name is most horrible?

Tell us in the comments which name above is the worst!

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