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BRITNEY SPEARS AND KEVIN FEDERLINE
Chris Polk  /  AP file
Never fear, Kevin Federline has a career backup plan.
By
msnbc.com
updated 3/14/2006 2:54:47 AM ET 2006-03-14T07:54:47

Don’t worry about Kevin Federline’s future. If K-Fed’s rap CD doesn’t hit, he’s got a fallback career: Britney’s hubby says he’ll become a stripper.

Blender mag asked Federline what he’ll do if his upcoming album fails. “I’ll be at your local strip club, but I’ll be the one dancing,” he replied.

With all the hours he devotes to rapping these days, how does Federline find time for his wife and children, the mag asked?

“I have no golf game anymore,” he explained. “Monday through Friday, I get up at 7:30 a.m., train at the gym for two hours, then go to the studio. I have weekends off to see my kids and to spend time with my old lady.”

No sore loser
Annie Proulx is no fan of Hollywood.

The Pulitzer-Prize winning author of “Brokeback Mountain” has bashed the “segregated” and “out of touch” community that passed over the film, and instead gave the best picture Oscar to “Crash” — a film about race relations.

“Roughly 6,000 film industry voters, most in the Los Angeles area, many living cloistered lives behind wrought-iron gates or in deluxe rest homes, out of touch not only with the shifting larger culture and the yeasty ferment that is America these days, but also out of touch with their own segregated city, decide which films are good,” Proulx wrote in an essay for the London Guardian. “And rumor has it that Lions Gate inundated the academy voters with DVD copies of ‘Trash’ — excuse me,  ‘Crash’ — a few weeks before the ballot deadline. Next year we can look to the awards for controversial themes on the punishment of adulterers with a branding iron in the shape of the letter A, runaway slaves, and the debate over free silver.”

Notes from all over
Don’t start knitting booties for Christina Aguilera quite yet. The singer’s spokeswoman says that comments she made to a mag were taken out of context by some to make it sound as though she’s pregnant, which the rep says she is not.  . . . Tom Cruise may have parted ways with his longtime publicist Pat Kingsley, but Jodie Foster has nothing but kind things to say about the much-feared “gatekeeper to the stars.” In fact, Foster says she based the steely business woman from her new film “Inside Man” partly on Kingsley. “She’s one of my favorite women. Here is a very, very strong woman who doesn’t raise her voice; she doesn’t need to raise her voice because she commands so much respect.” Foster said, reports ContactMusic.com. “The secrets, the vault that she is, if anything that’s in her memory or in her head ever came out the world would probably implode! And yet, she doesn’t have a ‘me first’ attitude. It’s all about, ‘How can I facilitate this; it doesn’t matter how I look, it matters how you look.’” When contacted for comment, Kingsley was uncharacteristically at a loss for words. “I . . . don’t even know how to respond to such a statement,” she told The Scoop. “It’s probably the nicest thing that has ever been said about me in print.” . . . . Speaking of Cruise, a wide-ranging profile of Chastity Bono in the London Mail reports that she was at Tom Cruise’s apartment when her mother learned that she was gay. Cher, “having discovered this fact over the phone, was furious and told her daughter to leave Tom Cruise’s New York apartment where she had been staying, then hung up,” according to the article. “Mum did not comfort me with kisses and cuddles because it was not the family way,” Bono explained. “Instead, she sent me to a therapist.” Cher eventually accepted her daughter’s sexuality.

Jeannette Walls Delivers the Scoop Mondays through Thursdays on MSNBC.com

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