Aug. 30, 2013 at 12:56 PM ET
Read on to see why crushing on a member of the same sex is a smart and sexy idea.
Crushing on another woman can make you more aware of female beauty in general.
“Feminine beauty is so diverse. The power of a girl crush can deepen your appreciation for what makes all women beautiful,” says Dr. Sadie Allison, author of Tickle His Pickle and founder of TickleKitty.com. “The more you love about all women, the more you can love and see your own beauty.”
Expanding your fantasy repertoire to include a woman can help you get more in touch with your sexual side.
“The best part of fantasies is that you never have to do them to enjoy them,” says Allison. “Having a girl crush doesn’t mean you’re gay. It means you’re alive and an empowered being. Girl crushes can bring to light desires and curiosities you may have been repressing. You can explore and enjoy them in your mind and save for later whether or not you explore anything in reality.”
When we crush on other women in large part it’s because they have attributes that we admire and want to copy. So whether it’s someone you know or a celeb, crushing on a really righteous babe can help you become even more awesome.
“Women like Angelia Jolie, Madonna or Michelle Obama are just some examples of famous women you might have a girl crush on,” says Allison.
Let’s face it—most men are turned on by the idea of their wife or girlfriend crushing on another chick. If you want, your fantasy can become fodder for improving your sex life—even if it’s something you just talk about!
“If you want, you can share your girl crush with your partner and fantasize during partner sex what you and she might do to one another, and what your girl crush and you might do to your partner, as a reward for his good behavior,” says Allison.
The great thing about a girl crush is that it’s not as seemingly threatening to your relationship as it’s unlikely that you’ll pull a Cynthia Nixon and switch to the other team.
When you have a crush on a guy, you start dressing better, making sure you look great at all times and possibly even eating healthier. It’s no different when you crush on a girl and anticipate seeing her.
“The physical reaction of crushes can up your self-esteem and put that sparkle and gleam in your eye,” says Allison. “You end up putting that little extra effort in the mirror or at the gym toward looking good for your crush. Why not leverage it for your overall health and wellbeing? Enjoy your crush and milk it for all it's worth!”
It’s easy to get stuck in a sexual rut. Adding a girl crush to your life could add an unexpected but exciting dimension to your world. And at the very least, it can’t hurt!
“It’s generally so ingrained in us—particularly related to culture and religion—that we are supposed to have a partner of the opposite sex,” says Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure. “When you think about it, sexuality includes affection, love, sexual expression and so much more. And, whether it’s purely a physical connection out of curiosity, attraction or something meaningful and intimate, crushing on a woman can expand your sexual realm giving you a new sense of sexual freedom.”
Many women suffer from low libido. A girl crush may not only rev up a stagnant libido, it could also make you a more sensual person.
“People that are curious and well-rounded tend to be more passionate and interesting,” says Levine. “And expanding your sexual interests is no exception. When you can appreciate a beautiful woman—in the ways you define beauty—you will likely boost your arousal to new levels.”
A version of this story originally appeared on iVillage.