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Here's why younger guys fall for older women

These younger men opened up about the appeal of dating older women.
/ Source: Today

Actress Priyanka Chopra Jonas almost didn't give her now-husband Nick Jonas a chance because of their 10-year age gap.

“I wanted stability, and I didn’t give Nick enough credit until I went out with him on our first date. We spent the whole evening together, and I realized my husband is just like an old soul. He’s stability in human form," she told Hoda Kotb in a 2023 interview.

Now, she doesn't see the big deal.

"I mean, I don't think about it," Chopra said on TODAY. "I think people think about it a lot more than I do."

Chopra and Jonas have been married for five years and share a daughter, Malti.

In fact, there are many high-profile celebrity romances in which the woman is older. For example, actress Gabrielle Union is ten years older than her husband, former pro basketball player Dwayne Wade, and Kardashian momager Kris Jenner is 25 years older than her longtime boyfriend Corey Gamble.

It's not only famous men who understand the attraction to older women.

In "Older Women, Younger Men: New Options for Love and Romance," authors Felicia Brings and Susan Winter interviewed more than 200 men to learn why they were specifically attracted to older women. Here are some of the reasons they gave.

They're grounded and self-assured

Nigel, 37, finds himself attracted to older women due their clarity, substance, and relaxed attitude about life.

"I find that I'm attracted to a woman who has some degree of self-possession. I like the stimulation of a sharp intellect. I enjoy sitting down to dinner with someone who has a level of conversation I can appreciate and enjoy," he said.

"I've always had relationships with older women," he continued. "They know themselves. They have so much more to offer and they are looking for different things. They are not just looking for guys who will be good fathers and providers. Older women can be more playful. They are more relaxed. It's really a personality thing for me regarding what is attractive. I enjoy a confident attitude and older women definitely have the upper hand in that area."

Dan, age 24, also expressed similar themes:

"When I meet a woman over 30, she's usually very clear and focused. She knows what she wants in life and it makes being with her so much easier. I look at a lot of my friends who have girlfriends their age and younger and the problems they have strike me as ridiculous. They frequently act foolish and immature. I don't have time for that behavior—that's why I like mature women," he said.

They have a different perspective

Some men appreciate older women's unique viewpoint.

"Just the fact that there's so much to learn from an older woman, that they have so many more life experiences to draw upon, is an adventure to me. It's like a rush," Vincent, age 31, said.

Art, 27, felt that dating an older woman improved his relationship savvy.

"She was very beautiful and caring and we had similar interests," he said. "She offered me the opportunity to see another perspective on a lot of different issues. I mean, older women think differently on certain issues and they've got more experience. I grew up a lot with her. Yeah, definitely, she helped me to grow up. She made me realize how important I could be in making someone else happy. Not that I was doing it for her, but just being with her."

Fred, age 28, said that he's attracted older women because "the experiences in life that they've had make them more grounded and realistic."

When asked what a mature woman offered him that he couldn't find in a younger woman, Fred answered: "Emotional stability. Need I say more? There have been nothing but positives in my relationships with two older women. They were able to see things in me that I could not see in myself. Also, there were levels of honesty unlike anything I've experienced even with best friends."

They know what they want

The men to whom we talked spoke about the advantages of being in relationships with older women due to their confidence and assertiveness.

Fred appreciates older women's communication skills.

"It's easier to have a relationship with an older woman, because she knows how to communicate what she wants. It has a snowball effect all the way around," he said.

Additionally, he values the certainty that life experience brings.

"They are much more experienced with life. You know this is the kind of person who's going to tell you exactly what they want and they are more sure of themselves than the people my age or younger. Older women are much more well rounded — they know what they feel and why they feel it."

Gary, 39, expressed a similar view.

"An older woman is more sure of herself and brings that to the relationship. She knows what she wants and how to communicate that to her partner," he said.

More than any other advantage, men talked about the positive intimate relationships they experienced.

"The biggest advantage is that they know what they want so there's no guesswork. You may try to please them and they'll tell you if it isn't working. I loved it," Scott, 25, said.