Many women give off red flags early on in the dating process. In her new book, “Think Like a Guy,” Giuliana DePandi writes that they act needy or high-maintenance, though men are attracted to women who are evasive and mysterious. DePandi advises women to start acting like a guy if they want to be successful in the dating game. DePandi was invited on “Today” to talk about her book. Read an excerpt:
Think Like A GuyFor centuries when it came to getting a guy, women made the same mistakes over and over again. In modern times especially, most girls fall flat on their face before they ever make it to the altar. And no matter how many female-empowerment books or women’s magazines we read, most of us just can’t seem to get the man of our dreams to say those magic words, “Will you marry me?” Until now…
You see, I’ve learned that you can’t land a man by reading all those female-empowerment books or women’s magazines. In fact, you have to avoid those all together. The way to land a guy is to think, act, and react … like a guy.
Have you ever seen a man get all goo-goo gaga over a baby in a grocery store line? No!
Have you ever seen a guy stop in his tracks at the sight of a cute puppy and start drooling over it? Never!
Have you ever gone out with a guy who on the first date starts telling you all about his fears and insecurities? No way!
Have you ever been three dates into a relationship and had a guy tell you his real desire in life is to quit his job and be a stay at home dad? Absolutely not!
Guys never commit any of these fatal mistakes, but women do. When men see babies, they look the other way. It takes a guy at least a few months to reveal his fears and insecurities. And no girl wants to hear a guy say he doesn’t want a career and his only goal in life is to get married and have kids. That’s simply unheard of. Women need a guide that points out exactly what they are doing wrong and exactly what men are doing right.
Men are not complex creatures. We think they’re complex because we can never seem to figure them out. But in reality, they’re pretty simple to break down once you realize they don’t think like women think. Even if you meet a guy and you’re convinced he’s the exception — convinced he thinks like you do and not like other guys — you’re wrong. At the end of the day, guys look at something one way, and girls look at the same thing another way. Plain and simple.
Therefore, in order to get the guy you really want, you can’t make the same mistakes all the women before you made. You know, the women who couldn’t land him. The women who couldn’t get him to commit. The women he passed up. No, my friend, you cannot go down the same path these women went down. In fact, you have to get off that path completely. You have to possess the tips that men subconsciously live by, the tips this book will reveal to you. Because in the end, the best way to land a guy is by thinking like one.
It’s simple. This book will train you to think … like a guy. Because dating has always been a guy’s world, until now.
Give him your digits, but don’t take hisIf he digs you, he will callYou meet a guy, he wants to exchange numbers. Hesitate for a minute. Hesitate for a minute more. Finally, give him your digits. He glances at your number and smiles, then give you a look like, it’s his turn to give you his phone number. Whatever you do, don’t ask for his phone number. When he offers to give it to you, decline it. If he insists, shrug your shoulders; cock your head slightly to the side, and say, “No thanks. It’s cool. You’ve got my number. I’m sure I’ll talk to you soon.” Why shouldn’t you take his phone number? Here’s the deal.
If a guy likes you and he wants to hang out with you and you give him your phone number, he will call! If he didn’t really like you and has no intention of hanging out with you but he took your phone number anyway, he won’t call. Make sense? If not, let me break it down into a basic equation. If algebra wasn’t your thing, no biggie. I’ll use simple arithmetic.Boy gets girl’s digits + boy likes girl = boy calls girlBoy gets girl’s digits + boy doesn’t like girl = boy doesn’t call girlGot it? Good! A+ for you. What you’ve done is left the ball in his court. Doesn’t feel so good, does it? I assure you, if things go well, it may be the only time he ever has full control in your relationship.
Now that the fate of the first phone call rests on his shoulders, then what good is it having his phone number? In fact, having his number could actually be very damaging. If you have his number you will be tempted to call him. Especially after day 3 of not hearing a peep from Mr. I Totally Felt A Connection. And just think of how embarrassed you’ll be when you call him four days after meeting him and he doesn’t remember who you are out of the five girls he gave his number to that night. I know you may be saying, “Oh, but if I get his number instead of giving mine out, then the ball’s in my court!” Listen, Kournikova, you gotta get on that tennis court before you can even get the ball.
Focus less on your backhand, and more on your need to avoid the embarrassment of a phone call that may lead to rejection. Instead, let him make the first move. I promise you, if he was hot for you that first night, he will call!
Excerpted from “Think Like A Guy," by Giuliana DePandi. Copyright © 2006, Giuliana DePandi. All rights reserved. Published by No part of this excerpt can be used without permission of the publisher.