July 17, 2013 at 2:47 PM ET
In an effort to solve one of the great mysteries of the universe the good people of Reddit recently took some time to discuss the most important aspects of “Guy Code.”
"Guy Code” refers to the code of rules and regulations by which a man lives his life. These rules can be as simple as the protocol on taking the last beer in the fridge, to the complex intricacies of dating a buddy’s ex (Ruling: never).
While some of these “rules” should certainly be practiced, clearly some are a little crazy, illogical or even dumb. Take them with a grain of salt.
“Men of Reddit: What is some of the "guy code" things that girls probably do not know about?”
If there's something that can be done by throwing it or tossing it, we'll do that instead of carrying it to the trashcan or garbage, etc. This can end up getting competitive.
If we say something and you interpret it two ways, and one of those ways upsets you, we meant the other one.
Under no circumstances can a girl order a salad then make googley eyes at my delicious steak and complain when I don't share it. JOEY DOES NOT SHARE FOOD!
Don't ditch your friends for your girl. Let them know you're going to hangout with your girlfriend, don't make up some bullshit lie just so you can go hangout with her.
desire need respect. Most of the time even more than love. This is true both in private and out with friends. You may love him to death but if you continue to belittle him, he'll be gone.
While it's acceptable to have sexual relations with a woman that your friend did (eskimo brothers), it is abhorrent to have sex with anyone your good friend had/has an actual relationship with.
The line to the mens' bathroom isn't always as long as womens' bathroom because no talking is allowed in the mens' bathroom.
If you're in a conversation where girls are talking about one of your friends, not even close, and you know he likes one of them or one of their friends, you drop "good bombs" basically subtly mention good things about him in a non bromance way.
Every man knows The Nod™—Up for acknowledgement, down for respect.
If I don't make fun of you, we're not really friends.
Here's one I learned from Reddit: if a girl gives you her number, read it back to her with one wrong digit. If she corrects you, it means she's actually interested. If she doesn't, she was just giving you a number to get rid of you (and the number is probably fake).
An eyebrow raise and a glance to the side can get more information across to a friend in a couple of seconds than is possible in a few minutes of talking.
Usually guys try not to involve others in problem solving unless they can't figure it out themselves. So when a fellow guy comes to you with a problem it is considered an honor to help said guy fix the problem. (Unless it is quite apparent that the guy didn't try in the first place. Then he's just lazy) If the two are good friends usually the one being asked for help is code-bound to make fun of the first dude for not being able to do it himself.
If you see a bro out with his girlfriend/wife shopping and is miserable, you give him the nod of understanding as this will assure him that there are others out there who know his pain.
Thank God for the boyfriend chair in most clothes stores.
Every bag gets carried from the car IN ONE TRIP! On your arms. None of those stupid orange grip savers. 1 bag or 100, you're not a man unless you have your arms out, bags hanging, and are speed walking and saying "Hold the door! Move!"
Are some of the rules great? You bet. Are some of them stupid? Absolutely. But you can’t blame guys, because after all:
DudefromMississippi: Men didn't create the code. The code created men.
Have a “Guy Code” of your own? Let us know in the comments.
A version of this story originally appeared on iVillage.