In the great ketchup vs. mustard divide, I pledge my loyalty to mustard. There is something about its signature tang and sinus-clearing spice that puts sugary, one-noted ketchup to shame. Of course, as a self-proclaimed connoisseur of condiments, I’ll never scoff at the opportunity to dip my way through either option, but mustard is the Beyoncé of a Destiny’s Child hot dog and Michelle is the ketchup: both wonderful and necessary components that harmonize flawlessly, but one is the clear star.
So, in the spirit of clinging on to every last day of summer, grilling, and the cuisine associated with each, I decided to conduct a taste test of seven popular yellow mustards. And yes, I fully squirted these out onto a plate and ate them with a spoon like a true mustard fan. So don’t @ me and say “tHe FoOD yoU PuT iT oN AfFeCts tHe TasTE” because ... duh.
Check out how the contenders stacked up.
7. 365 by Whole Foods Market Organic Yellow Mustard
I appreciated the apple cider vinegar base of Whole Foods’ take on the classic, but this tasted more like a Dijon than a yellow (which was kind of annoying). Sure, the flavor was more complex and even more interesting than others on this list, but sometimes you just want something extremely basic and one-noted in a neon-colored dip and this did not deliver.
6. Happy Belly Yellow Mustard
Happy Belly will appease any palate that demands a sharper, more robust taste that is heavy on mustard seed flavor and light on, well, practically anything else. But it was just a touch too overpowering for my liking, which means I’d probably only pair it with something like a soft pretzel so that it won’t compete with other ingredients.
5. Annie’s Organic Yellow Mustard
If you’re looking for an organic option that tastes most like traditional yellow mustard (unlike, cough, No. 7 on this list), look no further than Annie’s. I was pleasantly surprised by this bottle that made up in flavor what it lacked in color (a not-as-bright shade of yellow). And those daffodils on the label really know how to pull you in, because nothing says “put me on a hamburger” more than a flower arrangement with a butterfly. (I know, I’m still trying to figure that one out … unless they’re mustard flowers, in which case I feel very stupid right now and will just stick to eating.)
4. Gulden’s Bold Yellow Mustard
All that Gulden’s isn’t gold, apparently, but the brand does come in at a strong fourth place with it’s — you guessed it — bold mustard flavor. Frankly, the only reason why French’s edged it out was the nostalgia factor. Some grew up on Gulden’s, others grew up on French’s. I am in the latter camp and that’s how this cookie crumbled. (And now I’m already back to craving cookies. Great.)
3. French’s Classic Yellow Mustard
It’s yellow, it’s familiar, and it’s got a hint of garlic powder that rounds out its robust flavors. French’s is a solid choice and a true testament to the expression "If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it." But it wasn’t my overall favorite pick in a shocking twist for the taste buds. In fact, I kind of feel like the top two took home the W by a longshot.
2. Plochman’s Mild Yellow Mustard
This was a yellow mustard brand that I, frankly, hadn’t heard of before this taste test. You can only imagine my excitement when I squirted out this bad boy and though, "Where have you been all my life?” It lives up to its name by staying mild, but potent enough to enhance anything from turkey cold cuts to deviled eggs. I also really enjoyed its barrel-esque bottle because shapes are fun and I’m apparently easily amused.
1. Heinz Yellow Mustard
I was 100% convinced that French’s would run away from this list with a win like Usain Bolt, but Heinz was inarguably the best of the best (and the most well-balanced!). It’s very vinegar-heavy, but this acidity hits more at the end, giving it a perfect level of tartness that has you craving more. Like, I literally kept squirting it onto a spoon and eating it, which sounds like serial killer-levels of crazy, but I promise you’ll follow suit.