June 26, 2013 at 4:00 PM ET
After being accused of being a mere commander, Cap’n Crunch has finally addressed the “mutinous rumblings” and “ridiculous accusations” about his rank.
The cartoon cereal spokesman has been defending himself ever since a discerning cereal lover claimed that he is not a captain at all, but a commander. Navy captains wear four stripes on their uniforms, not the three that Cap’n Crunch sports, which is equivalent to the rank of commander. This year marks the 50th anniversary of Cap’n Crunch cereal, yet this is the first time there have been questions about the iconic pitchman’s rank.
In his weekly edition of “The Cap’n Crunch Show’’ cartoon posted on YouTube late Tuesday night, he held a “press conference’’ to clear everything up. The description under the video reads, “The Cap’n stands tall on the mutinous rumblings regarding his rank.”
“I stand before you today to answer the ridiculous accusations leveled against me by certain Swift-boating talk-show host rivals that I, Cap’n Crunch, am not a real cap’n!’’ he says in the video.
The Cap’n, whose full name is Horatio Magellan Crunch, then goes on to point out a few other discrepancies in his appearance that might make people want to lighten up about being sticklers for the number of his stripes on his uniform.
“You may have noticed a few other things about me,’’ he says. “I have four fingers. My first mate’s a dog. My eyebrows are attached to my hat, for crunch sake!” He's got a point.
Quaker, the maker of the cereal, has stood by its cap’n.
“We don’t feel [the fourth stripe is] necessary — the Cap’n is after all a Cap’n, as he mans the S.S. Guppy," a spokesperson told TODAY.com earlier this month. "And it’s the crunch, not the clothes, that make the man!"