Scandal

Are Double Stuf Oreos a big fat myth? And 7 other food mysteries we want answers to now!

Aug. 23, 2013 at 11:01 AM ET

Double Stuf Oreos
Nabisco /
Double Stuf Oreos

Earlier this week a high school math teacher in upstate New York answered what was a monumental lingering question in our minds when he and his class of students discovered that Double Stuf Oreo cookies contain less than double the amount of “stuf” in a normal sized Oreo.

The research (which probably included eating a lot of Oreo cream filling) done by the Consumer Math class students revealed that the ratio of filling in a Double Stuf Oreo compared to that of a standard size was actually about 1.68:1 instead of the assumed 2:1.

This disappointing news got us wondering what other food mysteries this new research powerhouse could solve for us…

1.) Are Lucky Charms really magically delicious?

Who’s to say what magic tastes like? Operating on the assumption that Leprechauns exist, and assuming they would take up employment doing R&D for General Mills, we’d have to assume they’d actually create a product that was at least inspired by magic. But that feels like one (or seven) assumptions too many.

2.) How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

850, or so says this guy. 

3.) Smurfberry Crunch: No such thing as Smurfberries?

We’re getting a little suspicious, Smurfs. We’ve checked with scientists (read: Googled it) and they claim Smurfberries aren’t even a thing. Maybe that explains why they had to stop production of this cereal in the 80s, BUT OUR CHILDHOOD STILL REMEMBERS, AND DEMANDS AN ANSWER.

4.) Has any one ever been saved by Lifesavers?

More like tiny rings of hard candy that aren’t going to save anyone from anything. When is the last time you saw a movie where the medic yells, “WE NEED SOME MORE LIFESAVERS OVER HERE, STAT!” We're guessing NEVER.

5.) Is White Castle actually “What You Crave?”

Nope. Not us. You?

6.) Where does Philadelphia Cream Cheese come from?

Well, Kraft Factories are based in Northfield, Illinois, which according to our research is nowhere close to Philadelphia. Why didn't they just call the product “Northfield Cream Cheese”? That sounds like a very nice alternative name to us; it makes us think of some organic farm where they grow delicious cream cheese crops (or however they make the stuff).

7.) Is Tuna really Chicken of the Sea?

Oh, wait: Fortunately Nick Lachey already cracked this caper for us:

A version of this story originally appeared on iVillage.

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