The 10 worst kinds of people at the grocery store
All the food is at the grocery store, all of the delicious food! It's time to go grocery shopping for the week and the cookie aisle is calling (it's whispering 'Oreos, Oreos, Oreosssss').
But while you're browsing and planning with coupons and list in hand, you run into one of these 10 annoying types of people who will ruin your shopping experience. Behold:
1. The Shadow
The Shadow may not look like you, but she shops like you. The Shadow is in every aisle you are. "Why is she following me?" you think to yourself as you begin to check every aisle to make sure the she isn’t there. You go left; the Shadow goes left. You go right; your Shadow goes right. It never ends. It goes without saying that the two of you end up in the same checkout lane. Don't even look for her in the parking lot, you know she has the same car.
2. The Aisle Hog
You're walking through the cereal aisle, when you get stuck behind an abandoned shopping cart. Where is its owner? Who leaves their purse in a cart? Who the hell knows. In the meantime, you're faced with a dilemma: Do you come back for your Froot Loops? Do you move the cart out of the way? What if they see you moving the cart and think you're a cart and purse thief? ARGH.
3. The Sampler (Ahem...Stealer)
We get it: hunger + groceries = temptation. That doesn't give the Sampler license to dig a germy hand in the bulk bins for "just a taste" of yogurt-covered raisins or gummy worms. Did they just sneeze and put their hand in there?! Who does that?
4. The Indecisive Shopper
“I'll have ¼ pound of ham. No… make that ½. No, wait, actually…” Maybe the Indecisive Shopper should get out of the way and let the customers who actually know what they want to order go next. You're getting hangry.
5. The Wild Things
You have kids. You love kids. You logically understand that kids can sometimes get out of hand and nothing will stop them. But when a couple of Wild Things run up an aisle, waving popsicles and screaming, while their mother just keeps on calmly reading the ingredients on a bag of Tostitos? That's when you wish for earplugs and a bottle of Purell.
6. The Extreme Couponer
The Extreme Couponer can be detected by her coupon book and three overloaded carts with 12 bottles of mustard and eight cases of Capri Sun. Major props to the Extreme Couponer and her ability to get $152 worth of groceries for 12 cents, but no one wants to be stuck behind her in line while the poor cashier doubles and triples her stack of coupons. Oh no, are they calling the manager over to help? SIGH.
7. You Are Not Next
You've been impatiently standing behind the Extreme Couponer when the cashier at the next counter yells "next in line!" Before you know it, the person behind you has already bolted over like a track runner. Um, weren’t you next in line? Yes. Yes you were.
8. The Cheapskate
You decide to switch lines yourself when, low and behold, you find yourself behind a cheapskate! This shopper will make the clerk price-check every single item that they assert (LOUDLY) is on sale. Also fun? When they complain to the poor clerk—who is just as tired and broke as everyone else - about how overpriced the store is.
9. The Oops I Forgot
You switch lines, again, only to get stuck behind an Oops I Forgot. This shopper will hold up the entire line in the middle of checking out to run and get just one more grocery item. The clerk is annoyed, you're annoyed...everyone is annoyed.
10. The Self-Checkout Saboteur
OMG, you realize the store has self-checkouts! Great. You decide to check your items out yourself, easy-peasy. Not so fast! Guess what? You're stuck behind someone going through two full carts of groceries in slow motion, while going through pages and pages of produce listings to find the code for a Hass avocado.
Teresa Roca is an iVillage contributing writer. Follow her on Google+.
A version of this story originally appeared on iVillage.