March 31, 2011 at 10:50 AM ET
By Leslie Gornstein of HitFix.com
When we last left the leggy, lithe young things of "ANTM" Cycle 16, Dalya had been sent packing (you’ll recall that her face was wearing her, not the other way around, or something like that), and that catty Alexandria had used up about three of her nine lives. The rest of the contestants had prayed to every McQueen-clad god in the fashion pantheon that Tyra and Co. would send Alexandra home -- along with her raging bitchiness -- but no dice. Alexandria has survived for six episodes. Let’s see whether she can tame her attitude and last for a seventh, shall we?
Tyra is waiting for the girls back at the house. Unfortunately, she does not bear a cure for Molly’s insidious weave. In fair exchange, Molly had a mini-meltdown. Tyra schools her by reminding her of “the whole pain-beauty thing,” which, apparently, is code for Shut Up Molly Don’t You Know That Kate Moss Hasn’t Eaten in Eleven Years.
Tyra then moves on to today’s lesson: Archetypes. Every girl is one, Tyra says — Gisele-esque Bombshell, Agyness Deyn edgy, and so on. Each girl steps up unto Tyra and decides which archetype she is. (So much for Linda Evangelista versatility.)
Anyway. With success will come renown, Tyra utters.
“Fame is going to come for this winner!” Tyra predicts. (Really, Tyra? Who won, say, ANTM Cycle 10? Exactly.) Then the girls practice their autographs. It’s unclear whether Alexandria signs hers in the blood of her rivals.