Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:37 PM ET
What will the Razzie Awards, given out the night before the Oscars each year, do next year with no “Twilight” film in the offering? Saturday night, the annual bad-movie honors crowned the Cullen coven and their wolfpack friends with seven bad-film honors, including worst screen ensemble for “Breaking Dawn Part 2,” worst director for Bill Condon, worst actress for Kristen Stewart and worst supporting actor for Taylor Lautner.
You can agree with or argue with those as you like, but it’s hard to argue with Lautner’s other dishonor. He and young actress Mackenzie Foy, now 12, won for worst screen couple. If you saw the film, you know that late-teen Jacob falls in love with Foy’s character as an infant – though the book and film try to make it clear that nothing will happen between them until she’s older, and calls it “imprinting,” not creepy newborn-teenager love.
Stewart’s own “Twilight” love interest, Robert Pattinson, was spared the worst actor award, which went to Adam Sandler for “That’s My Boy,” which is creeptastic from plot to finish. It’s based on a Mary Kay Letourneau-like case where Sandler gets his teacher pregnant when he is just 13, then reconnects with the child he named Han Solo, who’s grown up to be Andy Samberg. Why all the creepy child-sex plotlines, Hollywood? If you want to stay off the Razzies list, this is not the theme to follow.
Why did “Breaking Dawn Part 2,” such a huge box-office phenomenon, do so well at the bad-movie awards? The Associated Press quoted Razzies founder John Wilson as saying, “I have a pet theory, which is that the box office on 'Twilight' films is very impressive, but my theory is that instead of 40 million individual girls going to see it, it's 8 million girls going to see it five times each.”
For worst picture, “Breaking Dawn Part 2” beat out "Battleship," ''That's My Boy," Eddie Murphy’s “A Thousand Words” and the little-seen and horribly titled kid movie "The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure.” And here’s where the “Twilight” coven can take some comfort. They may have won the category, but “The Oogieloves” is considered one of the worst financial box-office bombs of all time. It reportedly cost $20 million to make and another $40 million to market, but made only $1 million while playing 2100 theaters, averaging a sad $47 per theater.