The Colbert Report

Stewart, Colbert pour criticism on NYC plan to ban big drinks

June 1, 2012 at 8:58 AM ET

Comedy Central /

Both “Daily Show” host Jon Stewart and “Report” host Stephen Colbert are among the New Yorkers outraged at Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s proposed ban on super-sized sugary drinks. Bloomberg's war on the obesity epidemic may have good intentions, but some think banning sodas over 16 ounces in restaurants, theaters, ballparks -- and virtually everywhere else one would have a giant guzzler -- is simply not the way to do it.

Not only is it an argument of government interference, Stewart points out, it’s also not the New York way. At any given restaurant we have sandwiches with piles of roast beef, mounds of chicken wings served with bowls of sauce, and frozen hot-chocolate drinks with more sugar than should be legal ... and yet, we can’t wash it all down with a refreshing, sugary Mountain Dew?!

“What about the 7-Eleven Slurpee?!” Stewart asks. Well, those are fine because Bloomberg’s law would not apply to drinks sold in non-government affiliated grocery and convenience stores.

“Look, Mr. Mayor,” Stewart began, “I know you can be intimidated by these large-sized drinks. You and I are both ... let’s face it, small. We might see a generously-proportioned sugared beverage and think of it as a drowning hazard, but it’s not fair!”

Colbert didn’t take it so well either.

“First he banned smoking, then he banned trans-fat,” Colbert began. “Then he added bike lanes everywhere, and now he’s gone way too far. This is America, the land of plenty! We haven’t achieved Type 3 Diabetes yet!”

After much whining, Colbert accepts his new reality and is forced to do one of the hardest things he’s had to do in a long time.

He has to shoot Drinky, his pet giant drink. A tearful goodbye, indeed.

Do you agree with the comic hosts, or applaud the mayor? Discuss on our Facebook page.

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