Saturday Night Live

'Saturday Night Live' features Christoph Waltz as 'Djesus Uncrossed'

Feb. 17, 2013 at 5:29 PM ET

Christoph Waltz was unchained during the most memorable moment from his turn as "Saturday Night Live" host. In a pre-recorded "DJesus Uncrossed" segment, Waltz plays a version of our Lord and Savior who isn't big on that whole "turn the other cheek" thing.

With help from "SNL" versions of Brad Pitt, Samuel L. Jackson and Ving Rhames characters  from various Quentin Tarantino films, Jesus gets revenge on the Romans who wanted him crucified. Christ is a mix between the lead characters of "Django Unchained" and the "Kill Bill" films.

When a Roman centurion exclaims “Jesus H. Christ” when facing his imminent death, Waltz doesn't miss a beat: “The H. is silent”

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During his opening monologue, the Oscar winner complained about all the stereotypes surrounding his Austrian heritage. Right on cue, "SNL" castmembers show up with their best intentionally bad Austrian/German bits. Kate McKinnon and Bobby Monahan dress like yodelers, while Taran Killam debuted “casual Hitler,” – which was Killam sporting a Hitler mustache and haircut and looking like he’s ready to relax at the country club.

We saw it coming. The cold open imagined the great lengths to which crew members on the disastrous Carnival cruise must have gone to entertain the trip's 4,000 disgruntled passengers. Cecily Strong and Jason Sudeikis attempt to comfort the passengers, who in real life were without power and plumbing for days after a fire left their cruise shift adrift at sea.

The pair read news headlines which they think will cheer up the passengers, but the stories turn out to be rather depressing. The Pope is resigning. North Korea has nuclear weapons, and “inspiring” Olympian Oscar Pistorius has been charged in his girlfriend’s murder.

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Waltz was able to play a fellow European in a commercial for Papal Securities—a financial planning service for retired popes. It’s tough to get by on a fixed income after being one of the most influential people on the planet, but these guys have you covered.

Waltz and Fred Armisen had some great chemistry during their promos for this week's episode, so it was fitting that the castmember played the host's girlfriend. Armisen channeled the self-righteousness of his feminist bookstore owner from "Portlandia" to create an irritating woman that no one but Waltz liked.

“So what were you talking about before we got here? Reproductive rights?” she says upon meeting Walt’s friends.  “No. Small talk,” they say, to her disappointment.

&amplt;strong&ampgt;Ted Nugent &amplt;/strong&ampgt;(&amplt;strong&ampgt;Bill Hader&amplt;/strong&ampgt;) popped up during a &amplt;em&ampgt;Fox &ampamp;amp; Friends&amplt;/em&ampgt; sketch to talk about attending President &amplt;strong&ampgt;Barack Obama&ampamp;rsquo;s &amplt;/strong&ampgt;State of the Union address. But first, the Fox News Channel gang played a video of what Obama&ampamp;rsquo;s speech sounded like if played backwards: &ampamp;ldquo;I am a Black Panther. When this is over, I&ampamp;rsquo;m going to smoke weed and do hip-hop songs.&ampamp;rdquo; &amplt;p&ampgt;&amplt;strong&ampgt;&amplt;a href=&quothttp://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/saturday-night-live-justin-bieber-420056&quot _cke_saved_href=&quothttp://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/saturday-night-live-justin-bieber-420056&quot&ampgt;VIDEO: &ampamp;#39;SNL&ampamp;#39; Mocks Super Bowl Blackout in Cold Open&amplt;/a&ampgt;&amplt;/strong&ampgt;&amplt;/p&ampgt; &amplt;p&ampgt;Nugent said it was hard to sit still during Obama&ampamp;rsquo;s speech.&amplt;/p&ampgt; &amplt;p&ampgt;&ampamp;ldquo;Partially because of what Obama was saying, and partially because my goatee is full of ticks.&ampamp;rdquo;&amplt;/p&ampgt; &amplt;p&ampgt;He said he was disgusted by Obama&ampamp;rsquo;s desire for stronger gun laws.&amplt;/p&ampgt; &amplt;p&ampgt;&ampamp;ldquo;Obama wants gun control, but what we really should do is take the guns out of the hands of those who are crazy,&ampamp;rdquo; he said (looking particularly crazy -- even by Nugent standards).&amplt;/p&ampgt; &amplt;iframe allowfullscreen=&quot&quot frameborder=&quot0&quot height=&quot341&quot mozallowfullscreen=&quot&quot scrolling=&quotno&quot src=&quothttp://www.hulu.com/embed.html?eid=gyo6l-gf6uf5y7b1alyoiq&quot webkitallowfullscreen=&quot&quot width=&quot512&quot&ampgt;

"SNL" is new March 2 with first-time host Kevin Hart and musical guestMacklemore & Ryan Lewis.

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