Nicki Minaj is in love. That’s clear after the last episode of “American Idol." But that doesn’t mean that any of the 10 semifinalists who performed Thursday night should start planning for how they’d help her spend her millions -- the object of her desire changed as soon as the next guy took the stage.
“You look real sexy tonight … do you have a girlfriend?” she asked Johnny Keyser. “I think there’s something real masculine and sexy about you.”
But that didn’t last. “Excuse me Chris (Watson) … you are the prettiest man I’ve seen in my life. I want to marry your vibrato. I am obsessed with you, and I might be the only one. It doesn’t matter what you sing. I hear pain; I hear soul; I hear struggle. I just love you.”
Maybe she likes the quieter types? “You’re a nice looking guy and you have a nice spirit, a warmth about you that shines through your eyes,” she told Devin Velez
Velez’s status lasted only as long as it took the next teenager to take the stage. “You are a super duper star, little boy. I want to have your babies. I am so serious,” she salivated over Elijah Liu. “You’re 18 years old. You’re sexy. You’re my new favorite boy. I’m obsessed with you.”
Sadly for Charles Askew, she decided her feelings towards him were merely akin to family. “Your weirdness, your awkwardness, it excites me … I want to cradle you in my arms. You know you remind me of my little brother. I love you so much,” she told him.
And the scary thing is … we’ve still got 10 more guys to go!
Sadly for Minaj, she had to say goodbye to some of her boy toys. As the “Sudden Death Round, As Opposed To Every Other Round In Which The Losing Singers Get Eliminated” rules dictate, half of the 10 were sent home by the judges.
Keyser was a surprise elimination, and Watson also was sent home. They’ll have to content themselves with being the brief object of Minaj’s affections.
Among the other’s exiting, JDA was the most entertaining performer of the night, but his vocals weren’t strong enough to keep going. Kevin Harris and Jimmy Smith were too forgettable.
The five singers to advance were Askew, Liu, Velez, Curtis Finch Jr. and Paul Jolley. Jolley needed Jimmy Iovine’s assistance, as the judges declared themselves deadlocked on his fate. This might be the most nonsensical gimmick in “Idol” history, and remember that these are the same folks who brought you Group Night and bloated results shows, so that’s no small feat.
When it was Jolley’s turn to hear his results, the judges called in Iovine to break the tie. They didn’t say who else they were considering in his place, so it’s hard to say whether Iovine made the right call or not, but at least he got to do something besides sit in the audience.
It might not have mattered. Finch was the star of the night, and Askew has a chance to advance with his endearing honesty, but Liu, Velez and Jolley?
Liu and Velez are the type of singers who get lost in the competition every year, and Jolley was memorable only because he required the intervention of the tiebreaker. That didn’t matter on Thursday, however, so they’ll get two more weeks to rise above the rest in Minaj’s heart.
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