Sep. 5, 2012 at 7:51 AM ET
Kristen Stewart, who has been generating even more headlines than usual thanks to her recent cheating scandal, says she struggles with being in the public eye. The actress reveals in the October issue of British Vogue, the cover of which she graces, that she has a hard time presenting herself a certain way.
"I know that if you haven't thought about how you want to present a very packaged idea of yourself then it can seem like you lack ambition. But, dude, honestly? I can't," Stewart says. "People expect it to be easy because there you are, out there, doing the thing that you want and making lots of money out of it. But, you know, I'm not that smooth. I can get clumsy around certain people. Like if I were to sit down and think, 'OK, I'm really famous, how am I going to conduct myself in public?' I wouldn't know who that person would be! It would be a lot easier if I could, but I can't."
The actress has kept a low profile since she admitted July 25 that she cheated on Robert Pattinson, her boyfriend and "Twilight" co-star, by having an affair with her married "Snow White & the Huntsman" director Rupert Sanders.
"This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I'm so sorry," Stewart said in a statement after Us Weekly ran photos of her and Sanders in compromising positions.
Pattinson recently wrapped a media tour his movie "Cosmopolis," during which he deftly evaded directly answering questions on the subject.
Stewart next stars in "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn -- Part 2," which opens Nov. 16, and "On the Road," an adaptation of Jack Kerouac's novel that hits U.S. theaters in late December. In the latter, she plays a 16-year-old non-conformist liberal, a character to whom Stewart says she can relate.
"There is always going to be that seam of people who want things differently to the standardized version," she says. "It's not necessarily a rebellious thing, it's just who they are. That world back then, it just seems freer to me than anything I could ever touch, and I'm fully nostalgic for it, even though I wasn't even alive then.
"It's the loyalty aspect of it all. I love being on the periphery with a group of people who have the same values that I do. People who don't get off on fame, who just like the process of making movies and thrive."