June 24, 2013 at 10:53 AM ET
It's been a long time coming, and now it's here: War! The "True Blood" battle of humans versus vampires (and werewolves and shifters -- and werewolves versus shifters) is on, and it's only a matter of time before the body count really rises.
And it's going to get messy.
Sunday night saw a few fatalities among the Bon Temps equivalent of red shirts, but the major players remain safe -- well, mostly safe.
It's already clear that no one is safe around Bill. After getting premonitions of human-on-vamp violence to come, the changed man went deep into one of his Lilith-full trances. Jessica scrambled to find a way to get through to her maker. She even ordered him a treat from Human Edibles. ("We're tasty!")
But just as the volunteer victim realized it was a bad scene, Bill woke from his trance and used that newfound, creepy telekinesis of his to pull her to him and force her blood out of her body -- and right into his mouth.
Jessica was horrified by the human drinking fountain routine, but she didn't lose her faith in Bill. In fact, it wasn't long before she dropped to her knees and prayed to him.
After plucking a UV-light-emitting bullet out of Tara's belly, Eric was fighting mad and ready to bring the battle straight to the doorstep of the governor of Louisiana.
First he assumed the identity of a whooping crane enthusiast -- a particularly dorky one -- to gain access to the politico. Then he glamoured the guy. Or at least he tried to.
Turns out humans now have glamour-resistant contacts, so Eric's efforts fell short. The governor's storm troopers tried to apprehend the Viking vamp, but he flew away in the nick of time -- just in time to pay the governor's daughter a visit outside her bedroom window. With her contacts out for the night, Eric was in.
While Emma played dress up and watched "Chopped" with the world's coolest babysitter, Lafayette, Sam dealt with some pushy human activists who wanted Sam to out himself as a shifter to help ease the rift (war!) between the humans and the supes.
(They also wanted to order some organic grub at Merlotte's, which earned them the line of the night from Arlene: "Sugar, this is Bon Temps. Down here 'organic' means you play the special piano at church.")
Later, the activists looked on and filmed as Sam and LaLa tried -- and after a not-so-fair fight, failed -- to keep the local wolf pack from picking up their tiniest, orphaned pup.
The mystery man who gave Jason a Warlow-sized fright last week dropped a bombshell this week.
"I'm not Warlow!" he ranted. "I'm your (expletive) fairy grandfather."
He's also king of the fae (which literally makes Sookie a fairy princess -- ugh), and it never hurts to have royalty in the family.
Gramps, who seems like the coolest guy to drop into Bon Temps since Russell Edgington dropped out, gives Sookie some battle training. Apparently she has the power to take down any vamp she wants. But power comes with a price. Waging war on just one will extinguish her fairy light for good.