“It’s madness!”
Crankypants head judge Len Goodman’s sentiment at learning who was in the bottom two on Tuesday was spot on. For the second week in a row, “Dancing” fans saved the whiner and booted someone who showed grace and promise on the dance floor.
What’s worse, Kendra Wilkinson wasn’t even left to stand under the bright lights of shame! That honor went to wrestler Chris Jericho and Czech model Petra Nemcova. Ultimately, it was the gracious beauty who received the axe.
It’s a tough cut to figure out if you're actually paying attention to the footwork. It was just on April 4 when Nemcova wowed the audience with a leaderboard topping Viennese waltz that had the judges swooning. “You dance like an angel,” Bruno Tonioli told her that week. “That was brilliant,” Goodman agreed.
Granted, her 22-point quickstep Monday night wasn’t nearly as graceful as that earlier effort, but at least she danced! “You have lines that could rival Ferraris and Lamborghinis put together!” Tonioli said after her performance. She was also incredibly charming, thanking the country for giving her the amazing opportunities she’s had here. Quite appropriate and sweet, given the theme was American Week.
Wilkinson’s foxtrot, on the other hand, I would hardly call a “dance.” All the former "Girls Next Door" star did was march around to “Yankee Doodle Dandy” and moan about how judge Carrie Ann Inaba’s comment last week about fearing elegance “kind of made me feel like trash.” Yes, she was still going on about that.
And clearly, all that whining helped – at least with the judges. How else could you explain why they gave Wilkinson a 22, the same score they gave Nemcova and Ralph Macchio for their much better efforts? The panel must’ve been hoping that the too generous marks would either make her feel better or get her to shut up and move on. Regardless, I blame them for this week’s elimination.
Had they scored Wilkinson according to what she had actually delivered (I would say nothing higher than an 18, and I’m being generous), I bet she would be packing her bags right now and taking her bad attitude with her. Maybe next week. (Please, let it be next week!)
But it wasn’t all bad on the results show. “Psycho” Mike Catherwood, who was the first star eliminated this season, returned to the show to “blow the whistle on ‘Dancing With the Stars.’ ” And by that, he meant show embarrassing clips of various folks. Among the highlights:
- Hines Ward loudly releasing some gas during rehearsals.
- Pro Chelsie Hightower’s chest-enhancing padding falling out during practice.
- And best of all, pro Maks Chmerkovskiy denying his cockiness with this gem: “I’m not blind. I see myself and I go, “Who is that sexy ... I’m like a stick that’s been dipped in a boiling pot of sex.”
America may have gotten this week’s elimination wrong (with help from the judges), but at least voters gave Kirstie Alley and her ballroom stud just enough to keep the pair around for a little longer. He's a perfect fit for next week's theme of guilty pleasures -- especially if he rips his shirt off again.
Here’s to looking on the bright side.
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