March 24, 2011 at 10:29 AM ET
By Leslie Gornstein of HitFix.com
We enter a new episode of "America’s Next Top Model" with the resident chub reigning supreme, a screen grab of Kasia’s retro faux coffee commercial flickering in greeting as the girls arrive home. But lo! It appears that Kasia is not the only girl who has modeling experience; Dalya reveals that she’s been modeling since age 16.
Another reveal: Alexandria has been a domineering condescending harpy since age birth. Last episode, she got schooled for, once again, trying to boss around her bosses on set. Nonetheless, Alexandria doesn’t seem to understand what the hell the world’s problem is with her. (Open note to Alex: The world’s problem with you is you. And that gray Blossom beret you’re always wearing in confessional. But really: It’s you.)
Poor Molly. First she gets a terrible weave. Then she gets it removed and replaced with a painful rash and an only slightly less terrible weave. And then Alexandria decides that someone has stolen her towel and the world must burn for this sin.
Sweet escape comes soon enough, in the form of a challenge. It’s another jape involving Cover Girl. Mr. Jay and a flaming flat-top named Vincent tell the girls that they will have to create a book-report-style video presentation about Cover Girl foundation makeup.
The girls are divided into teams of three. For some reason, only one girl gets to be the “talent” on camera. The other two get to be director or writer. Because everybody totally knows that Brooklyn Decker got her start as a writer for one-minute Web videos about drugstore makeup.