Ladies and gentlemen of “American Idol,” you won’t have Lazaro Arbos to kick around any more.
The inspirational story who soon became mentor Jimmy Iovine’s nemesis, Lazaro looked to be indestructible as his fellow males fell before the voting masses one by one. He was even among the top three vote-getters a week ago. But the last man standing on season 12 finally ran out of chances on Thursday, finishing in sixth place and officially ending the guys’ five-year winning streak.
This means he won’t have to spend another Wednesday listening to the judges patronizing his courage for getting this far despite his speech impediment before moving on to crush him for his vocal miscues. There will be no more Thursday nights marred by having to stand there and try to smile as Jimmy rips him to shreds on video.
“Last night’s performance hit me like an Ambien milkshake” was this week’s gem from the “Idol” mentor. He later closed his evaluation with, “If I had to chart him this week, I’d put him 10th.”
“There’s only six singers,” a producer’ s voice chimed in.
“I know,” Jimmy answered.
That’s partially a burn, partially just a really bad joke.
Lazaro also won’t have to worry about butchering another group performance. Nor will any of the other contestants, which could be why none of them were crying at the results except for Amber Holcomb.
And Amber had reason to cry. She was the second lowest vote-getter despite Nicki Minaj’s very vocal sales pitch. Every season has a singer or two with a lot of talent who just doesn’t resonate with the viewers, and right now it’s looking like she has that honor this year.
“Amber, I don’t know what to tell you to change. Just keep on doing what you’re doing,” Jimmy said in his video recap of her Wednesday performance.
Or, you know, maybe try something different to avoid getting sent home next week.
In fairness, she also could have been crying because season one winner Kelly Clarkson showed up to perform in a glowstick-heavy performance wearing some really scary eye makeup. But I’m guessing it was the results.
Kree Harrison and Candice Glover were the top two vote-getters this week. That was not surprising, considering they sang the best on Wednesday. Angie Miller and Janelle Arthur were in the middle.
With the judges’ least-favorite singer at the bottom, this was the least dramatic sing-for-survival performance of the season, even though they now have to use it or lose it next week. But Lazaro tried anyway, because them’s the rules.
“It’s a new dawn. It’s a new day. It’s a new life!” Lazaro belted as he covered “Feelin’ Good.”
The judges couldn’t have agreed more.
“Lazaro, we love you, you’ve been a treasure to the show,” Randy said. “But we’re not using the save.”
That won’t come into play until next week, when the competition really gets interesting now that the guys are gone.
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