June 20, 2011 at 8:36 PM ET
Waiting sucks, so thank goodness it’s almost over!
But before we sink our teeth into the fourth season of “True Blood,” let’s look back at the best bits from last year — the shockers, the frights, the amusing asides and more than one example of depravity from the vampire king of Mississippi, Russell Edgington. (What can we say? Before the grand vamp took that reign-interrupting cement nap on finale night, he mastered the art of stealing a scene — or a whole season, really.)
First things first, here’s a fair warning: As any true Truebie knows, this show is far from family-friendly fare. So if you have an aversion to bad language, blood, sex or bloody, twisty-neck sex (No. 8 on the list) -- or maybe you're just not old enough for such adult content -- don't watch the clips.
Still with us? Enjoy!
No. 9: Snoop Dogg's 'Oh Sookie'
We know, we know. This isn't exactly a clip from the show. But HBO happens to do some pretty awesome promotion for "True Blood," and the rapper's tribute tune for the heroine at the start of the season was certainly a great example.
No. 8: Bill and Lorena reunite
Russell kidnapped Bill and insisted the younger vampire stay as a guest in his vast Mississippi mansion. But lo and behold, Bill's maker and one-time love, Lorena, was also there. After a passionate argument, Bill betrayed human love Sook-eh ... err ... Sookie by making mad (no, really, it's seriously angry) "love" to Lorena.
No. 7: Jason learns about werewolves
Sometimes, in the midst of all of the dark drama, what this show really needs are a few rolling-on-the-floor-laughing moments. Cue the lovably idiotic Jason. The average person might freak out upon learning that werewolves exist, but not the hunky wannabe cop. He just wonders about all the other mythological beings out there. After all, if the Bon Temps bayou is home to werewolves (and werepanthers, shapeshifters, faeries, etc.) then surely Santa might be the real deal, too.
No. 6: Franklin sends a text
Speaking of laughs, the now-truly departed Franklin sure brought a few to the small screen — in between his super creepy scenes, that is. Having an unwilling victim — in this case, the feisty Tara — strapped to the bed is no laughing matter, but throw in a quick (*really* quick) text to her cousin Lafayette, and suddenly, things get a little cute. Well, manically cute. Sort of.
No. 5: Bill who?
Sookie’s heart might belong to Bill (or at least it used to), but she seemed to briefly forget all about whatshisname when Eric pulled her into one passionate smooch. We can't really blame her.
No. 4: Terry’s list
Say what you will about the sometimes-twitchy Terry. He’s socially awkward, he wears his emotions on his sleeve and he’s more than a little shell shocked, but the man knows how to make a convincing argument. After all, who else would think to include the proper care of a needy armadillo on a list meant to establish one’s kid-friendly nature? Heck, Arlene might have needed some time to think, but Terry had us convinced by the time he got around to the fact that he’d “never killed nothin’ by accident.”
No. 3: Hoyt decks Tommy
Season three was jam-packed with battles between good guys, bad guys and a couple yet-to-be-determined guys, but none of them were any more satisfying than the simple lone punch former momma’s boy Hoyt dealt to the always detestable Tommy. Sure, moments later Tommy got his canine on and attacked Hoyt, but that just led to an equally awesome scene in which Jessica sent Tommy-dog flying.
No. 2: Russell finds Talbot's remains
As Bill and Russell (and pretty much every fanged-man in fiction before them) have shown, when vampires fall in love, it’s serious business. In fact, the only thing that rivals a vamp’s bond to his one true love is his absolute freakout when it all falls apart. So when Eric staked Russell’s main man, Talbot, to get his revenge against the royal for killing his family more than 1,000 years ago, it should have come as no surprise when the vampire king of Mississippi went berserk from his broken heart.
No. 1: Russell makes news
That whole Russell goes crazy thing? Yeah, he didn't exactly keep that confined to his home, or even the vampire community. Instead, he crashed the evening news to declare war against humans and the American Vampire League. The result? The scene became one of the most buzzed-about TV moments ever.
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