Today's Fresh Blogs...

The "t", "our" operators are unnecessary.

• JOSEPH PATERNO ARRESTED FOR COKE

  Published: August 16, 2007, 3:00 am

  Tags: Wrong Doesn T Describe Our Wrongness, I Do Cocaine, Brains, Paterno, Blog Buddies, College Football, Big 10 Conference, Coaches The Bcs Scandals Arrests Other Eccentri

  Wait…holy smoking popes. Mike Vick can be found running a Man v. Bear fighting operation in Port-au-Prince and it wouldn’t be bigger than Joe Paterno getting arrested for this. We mean…this is it. This is huge. This is the story that flips the enormous turtle the world rests on upside down, thus flipping the whole universe

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• DAILY AFFIRMATION: DAY 3

  Published: August 29, 2007, 8:40 am

  Tags: Hope, Wrong Doesn T Describe Our Wrongness, College Football, Coaches The Bcs Scandals Arrests Other Eccentri, Southeastern Conference

  Be prepared to be totally wrong, college football fan. There are no pundits. (Except for Phil Steele. He’s a macheeeeen.) Why? Because there was no possible way Chris Leak was going to win that game for Florida. None. He's not that good, and never will be. There's no anger in saying that, no resentment, and no bitterness. It's just

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• FRIDAY CHEESECAKE: PISSING OFF SWINDLE EDITION

  Published: August 31, 2007, 11:23 am

  Tags: Bloviating, Really Doesn T Care About Football, Wrong Doesn T Describe Our Wrongness, You Ve Been Musbergered, Cheesecake, Ha Ha, Boobs

  I’ve know senior Swindle since around 1992. I like the guy. Really, I do. But sometimes he needs a little tweaking now and again. On that score, we bring you Orson’s least favorite cheesecake option of all time to celebrate the end of the offseason when we desperately need the weekly distractions. Without further ado, EDSBS’s

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• BLOGPOLL, WEEK THREE: CONGEALING

  Published: September 12, 2007, 12:43 pm

  Tags: Wrong Doesn T Describe Our Wrongness, That S Correctable, All Conference, Sprained Cerebrum, Blogpollin, We Demand Recount, Blog Buddies

  Our Blogpoll ballot for week three. Of course we insulted your favorite team. BTW: pay no attention to the arrows. They’re corrections of corrections. Onward! Rank Team Delta 1 LSU — 2 Southern Cal — 3 Oklahoma — 4 West Virginia — 5 California 1 6 Florida 1 7 Oregon 1 8 Texas 18

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• BLOGPOLL, WEEK EIGHT: COVERING THE HINDQUARTERS

  Published: October 17, 2007, 12:20 pm

  Tags: All Conference, Blog Buddies, Coaches The Bcs Scandals Arrests Other Eccentri, College Football, Blogpollin, Crying Like Bitch, Wrong Doesn T Describe Our Wrongness

  Florida could prove us very wrong by running Rutgers over with their Charismatic Fiero of Tampa Bay Area triumph. But for the top ten, that’s our value, with two notable creepers… The last midgets up the hill. Arizona State may have peaked on the year with this ballot, since they’re both going into the grinding end of their

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• BLOGPOLL, WEEK TEN: PURGIN' TIME!

  Published: October 31, 2007, 10:44 am

  Tags: All Conference, Blog Buddies, Coaches The Bcs Scandals Arrests And Other Eccentri, College Football, Blogpollin, Wrong Doesn T Describe Our Wrongness

  Heads had to roll, and roll they did in this week’s blogpoll. In fact, if this were detached head theatre, this would be like the battle scene from Detached Head Theatre Presents: Mean Girls, the Director’s Cut. (The movie ended with a spectacular battle scene with no fewer than 57 decaptitations. Dr. Strangelove originally ended with

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• BLOGPOLL DRAFT, WEEK ELEVEN/TWELVISH

  Published: November 6, 2007, 12:02 pm

  Tags: All Conference, Coaches The Bcs Scandals Arrests And Other Eccentri, College Football, Blogpollin, Wrong Doesn T Describe Our Wrongness

  Unsure why the first draft doesn’t have them on, other than that we feel the marginal victor of choice in the ACC is not the Demon Deacons but the Virginia Cavaliers. Purdue and Hawaii get no apologies for lack of performance and lack of schedule strength, respectively. BYU gets bumped in the bustle, but Auburn’s the real question

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• DEGENERATES: GET WELL

  Published: November 15, 2007, 10:58 am

  Tags: Notre Dame, Gamblor, Virility, Wrong Doesn T Describe Our Wrongness, Your Worst Nightmares

  Mistakes were made. Maybe you lost some cash, or the use of your left leg, or the privilege of your girlfriend’s vagina, but hey, that’s why they call it gambling. Now quit your crying and hobble over here; we’re getting right back in the game. As any good degenerate knows, it’s only when you’re down that you get a

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• CORRECTIONS FROM EDITORIAL

  Published: November 20, 2007, 3:09 pm

  Tags: Big 10 Conference, Blog Buddies, Coaches The Bcs Scandals Arrests And Other Eccentri, College Football, Wrong Doesn T Describe Our Wrongness

  We earlier mentioned Jon Chait, Senior Editor at the New Republic, as a candidate for the job of Michigan head football coach. We regret that there were some inaccuracies in the piece regarding Chait and his qualifications, which we would like to clarify with Chait’s own words right now. From: Jon Chait To: Orson Swindle Sent: Tuesday,

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• OH, THAT'S PRACTICALLY SIBERIAN OF YOU

  Published: November 27, 2007, 3:47 pm

  Tags: Blog Buddies, Coaches The Bcs Scandals Arrests And Other Eccentri, College Football, Southeastern Conference, Wrong Doesn T Describe Our Wrongness

  There’s cold, then Siberian…then there’s the Absolute Zero kind of cold. This response to the a police dog biting Jerraud Powers along the endzone sideline Saturday is beyond frosty. We need new verbiage for the degree of coldness delineated there. (We have no idea who did this…but well played, sir. In a ruthless,

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• I WAS WROOOOOOOOOONG

  Published: February 18, 2008, 2:21 pm

  Tags: Blog Buddies, Coaches The Bcs Scandals Arrests And Other Eccentri, College Football, Shit, That S Correctable, Wrong Doesn T Describe Our Wrongness

  Social D, then it’s wrong time…or at least speculative wrong time. A long IM conversation with Russell from Football Outsiders prompted this question: what, if anything, does instituting a forty second play clock do besides put the onus on the officials to spot the ball faster? Even if the take 15 seconds to spot the

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• THE IOWA HAWKEYES LADIES' FOOTBALL CAMP

  Published: July 22, 2008, 11:25 am

  Tags: Atlantic Coast Conference, Big 10 Conference, Coaches The Bcs Scandals Arrests And Other Eccentri, College Football, Women Without Pants, Would You Like Some Sexy Beef, Wrong Doesn T Describe Our Wrongness

  Welcome to the Iowa football ladies clinic everyone. Please, be seated. A few notes before we start. First, I’d like to welcome everyone here today. We work really hard to make a program that everyone can be proud of here at Iowa, and though we’ve had our struggles like any team, we believe you can be proud of that. We’re your

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