Today's Fresh Blogs...

• Dept. Of Unsafe At Any Speed: NASA Also Lost $94 Million -- Possibly In Space, Probably Drunk

  Published: July 27, 2007, 12:59 pm

  Tags: Astronut, Dept Of Unsafe At Any Speed, Diapers, Graft, Losers, Nasa

  This week we’ve learned that some NASA dork sabotaged a computer bound for the International Space Station, another NASA crook stole $150,000 from the space agency, and that the astronuts at...

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• In Brief: Hillary voodoo doll outselling Barry Hussein ...

  Published: July 30, 2007, 1:50 pm

  Tags: 2008, Quicklinks, Seven Losers Bought One Four Losers Bought The Other

  Hillary voodoo doll outselling Barry Hussein voodoo doll on Amazon. [Ben Smith/Politico]

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• Reason number 5,678 that Kate Moss should never take Pete Doherty back

  Published: July 31, 2007, 9:45 am

  Tags: Break Ups, Breakups, Celebrity, Kate Moss, Katemoss, Pete Doherty, Petedoherty, Rock N Roll Losers, Rocknrolllosers

  Filed under: Celebrity StyleI've suspected Pete Doherty is a big fat loser for quite some time, and this appears to prove it. The singer, who was famously dumped by Kate Moss because he couldn't stop taking drugs and sleeping with other women, recently tried to win back the supermodel's affections -- in the tabloids!Well, at least, that's kind of

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• Dept. Of This Thing Looks Like That Thing: OMG Crazy TeeVee First Lady And/Or Movie Witch Sorta Like Crazy Actual First Lady!

  Published: July 31, 2007, 5:55 pm

  Tags: Dept Of This Thing Looks Like That Thing, Funny Pictures, Harry Potter, Laura Bush, Losers

  There is a teevee show about how to torture Moslem children called “Twenty Four” and apparently starring a “First Lady gone mad who is currently institutionalized at a mental health...

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• Dept. Of Motley Crue: Republicans Sick of Rudy, Walnuts, Fred, Newt, Mitt and Whoever Else Is Or Isn't Running

  Published: August 2, 2007, 2:24 pm

  Tags: 2008, Dept Of Motley Crue, Fred Thompson, Gop, Losers, Newt Gingrich, Republicans, Ron Paul, Rudy Giuliani, Walnuts

  It’s the saddest GOP primary season ever, because nobody likes any of the candidates. Former Republican congressman and NewsMax columnist John LeBoutillier isn’t too impressed by the...

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• Dept. Of Portrait Of The Candidate As An Old Man: McCain's Long Road To Obscurity

  Published: August 3, 2007, 1:17 pm

  Tags: 2008, Dept Of Portrait Of The Candidate As An Old Man, Gop, John Mccain, Losers, Philadelphia, Republicans, Walnuts

  Every candidate who passes through Philadelphia has to eat a cheesesteak at one of the two approved iconic cheesesteak stands, Pat’s and Geno’s. Some candidates make crucial mistakes in...

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• A message from Barrack Obama?

  Published: August 8, 2007, 12:00 am

  Tags: Democratic Party Profiles, Satanism, Truth, Barrack, Obama, Sender, Certainty, Indications, Message, Unedited, Losers

  can see just how low the losers’ party has fallen since the days of Dixie. Christians may want to exercise caution when reading this email and will certainly want to keep their children as far from it as possible: I have been trying to leave a comment on this site page Masturbation: Offensive to God would just like to say one thing. I

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• Dept. Of Classy Exits: Denny Hastert Bravely Blames Americans For His Failure

  Published: August 17, 2007, 1:27 pm

  Tags: Dennis Hastert, Dept Of Classy Exits, Endless Cummer, Gop, House, Losers, Mark Foley, Republicans

  Dennis “the Hutt” Hastert is giving up and quitting, finally, after somehow keeping his congressional seat (if not the House leadership) despite personally providing Mark Foley with fresh naked boys each morning. But as each sore loser Republican announces their ignoble retreat from politics in this grim summer, they are required to

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• Cappy Prevails Again!

  Published: August 19, 2007, 2:24 pm

  Tags: Music, Babe Magnet, Techwhining, Martinis, Full Screen Editors For Losers, Football

  Yep, another fine midyear review for Cappy, the Captain of SQL! I just can't loose! Even better, the latest fabulous new technology of the future is eating it bigtime on conversion costs and data scrubbing. This let's Cappy ride out the current, best technology of all like Slim Pickens in Dr. Strangelove. For those of you unfamiliar, here it

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• Dept. Of American Know-how: Valerie Plame Added You As A Friend On Spookbook

  Published: August 22, 2007, 1:48 pm

  Tags: 9 11, Cia, Computers, Dept Of American Know How, Facebook, Idiots, Losers, Myspace

  Think of something useless and trendy — something that wastes your time while adding absolutely nothing to your life or work while simultaneously exposing your identity and private information and whatever you’re doing at the moment to a world of sinister strangers who only want to steal your ID and rape you. Right, we are talking

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• Dept. Of Reduced Expectations: U.S. Generals Finally Admit They're Not In Iraq For 'Democracy,' Either

  Published: August 22, 2007, 3:55 pm

  Tags: Democracy, Dept Of Reduced Expectations, Dick Cheney, George W Bush, Iraq, Losers

  Top U.S. generals in Iraq have some bad news for fans of Democracy: Iraq cannot have some.Nearly five years into the greatest American war ever, Army brass are finally admitting what nearly everyone else on Earth (including Dick Cheney) has known for so many years: Bombing the fuck out of a distant country for no actual reason and killing half a

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• Dept. Of Sore Losers: Michael Dukakis: GOP Will Blow Up Building 3 Weeks Before Election

  Published: August 23, 2007, 1:35 pm

  Tags: 1988, 2008, Dept Of Sore Losers, Dick Cheney, Funny Pictures, Gop, Hitler, Michael Dukakis, Nazis, Republicans, Terrorism

  Beloved 1988 Dem nominee Michael Dukakis was such a crappy candidate that he lost to despised vice president George Bush, so now he’s warning America that the Republicans will still figure out a way to keep the White House beyond 2008, even though everybody hates the Republicans and all the GOP candidates and especially Bush Junior and Dick

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• Users, Cheaters, Six-time Losers Dept.: Feingold Implores Americans to Watch the Parking Meters

  Published: August 24, 2007, 11:58 am

  Tags: Bob Dylan, Clips, Russ Feingold, Users Cheaters Six Time Losers Dept

  It’s Friday and it’s late August and that means dumb YouTube videos, like this one of Russ Feingold imitating fellow Jewish midwesterner Bob Dylan and his famous “Subterranean Homesick Blues” video. The alley looks good, but it’s missing Alan Ginsburg standing in a trash can. RIP Paul Wellstone, in other words. Also

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• Dept. Of Savory Breakfast Pastry: Tommy Thompson Is Not Forgotten

  Published: August 24, 2007, 12:59 pm

  Tags: 2008, Dept Of Savory Breakfast Pastry, Funny Pictures, Gop, Losers, Quiche, Republicans, Tommy Thompson, Wisconsin

  If we knew he would make us savory quiche all fixed up with Wisconsin cheddar and nutritious broccoli, perhaps we would’ve taken Tommy Thompson’s candidacy a little more seriously. But we didn’t, and now he’s out of the race, and the nation will never know what it missed.The Honorable Tommy Thompson Specialty Recipe

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• Dept. Of Pardon My French: Beloved Conservative U.S.-Loving French President Also Hates America

  Published: August 27, 2007, 12:38 pm

  Tags: Clusterfuck, Dept Of Pardon My French, Dick Cheney, George W Bush, Iraq, Losers, Nicolas Sarkozy

  The election of Nicolas “Reagan” Sarkozy was a rare happy moment for American wingnuts who until that exact second had hated France with all of their tiny bitter might. Finally, a pro-American French president would restore America’s global glory and make the lazy communist book-reading French weirdos start putting on the pounds,

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