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| KSK 2007 NFL Season Prekkake: Pittsburgh Steelers |
| Published: August 2, 2007, 12:01 am |
| Tags: Xmas Ape, Ksk 2007 Nfl Season Prekakke, Pittsburgh Steelers, Homerism |
| There goes Hines Ward, inviting his Asian friend, Richard Nixon, to training camp.Five Fast Facts About The Steelers: * Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger disappointed to discover that among the 237 reasons people have sex, "to impress my buddy, Donald Trump" was only listed in the low 190s.* In a nod to tradition, Hines Ward disposes |
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| KSK 2007 NFL Season Prekkake: Washington Hogs Redskins |
| Published: September 4, 2007, 10:02 am |
| Tags: Ksk 2007 Nfl Season Prekakke, Unsilent Majority, Redskins, Homerism |
| Chris Cooley's wife maintains a wet soft spot for Shawn Springs.Red-headed long-snapper Ethan Albright is known around the locker room as "Red Snapper" because of his stanky vagina.Albright's head weighs more than Marcus Mason.Dan Snyder keeps hiring away the most expensive Scientology coaches but he can't get past OT II.Chief Zee is immortal, he |
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| Hey, Heath Miller is in the Endzone! |
| Published: September 30, 2007, 8:09 pm |
| Tags: Xmas Ape, Thank You Cleveland Browns, Catharsis, Homerism, Welcome Back 2006 Steelers, Big Mental Midget |
| Only he's blanketed by three Cardinals. Why not go ahead and throw it anyway? Maybe there'll be a glitch like in Madden and the ball will go through one of the opposing players and materialize in Miller's hands. Who knows? Life's an adventure.Oh, shit. One of the Cardinals did catch it. Well, just remember to show Tomlin your "Did I do bad?" face. |
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| DIE |
| Published: September 30, 2007, 7:52 pm |
| Tags: Where Have You Gone Michael Tice, Purple Jesus, Big Daddy Drew, Fuck You Brett Favre, Catharsis, Homerism, I Feel Better Now, Not Grasping Simple Logic |
| Thinking about which play to call, coach? Thinking about a shotgun lateral dumpoff pass on 3rd and 1? I bet you are. Let me just give you a little piece of advice. You see the big strong kid wearing #28 over there on the bench? You know, the one who averaged 11 yards a carry on the afternoon? The guy who only got 2 carries in the second |
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| Joey Porter's alligator mouth writes check his hummingbird ass can't cover |
| Published: October 1, 2007, 10:44 am |
| Tags: Homerism, Raiders In First Baby |
| "We will win on Sunday. We will win and that's it." - Joey Porter, 9/26/07"You can make the mouth say anything, but there's 60 minutes of football that have to be played. It's tough when you run your mouth, boy. It's tough." - Warren Sapp, 9/30/07Miami linebacker Joey Porter had guaranteed a win over the Raiders yesterday. Not only did the |
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| Bengals Have No D In Related News: Water is Wet, Sky is Blue |
| Published: October 2, 2007, 9:21 am |
| Tags: Mmp, Cincinnati Bengals, Homerism |
| I guess I should be pretty satisfied that the Bengals gave up "only" 34 points while being dismantled by the Patriots last night. But after watching Sammy Morris run all over us, I don't think I can. Before the game, I really thought that we had a chance to win this game, get to 2-2, and go into the bye week on a high note. I thought our offense |
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| Yesterday Sucked Ass, With One Notable Exception |
| Published: October 15, 2007, 12:48 pm |
| Tags: More Monday Homerism, Joe Gibbs The Devil, I Still Hate New England, Gibbs Leaves We Re Stuck Williams Fuck, Fuck Dallas, Blah Blah Dropped Passes Blah Blah |
| I can't even begin to properly articulate how upset I was by yesterday's Redskins game. I believe my post-game analysis went something along the lines of, "Fuckyouintheassyouoldasspieceofshitcoach!" Since then I've had some time to think about things, but that's really just pissed me off a whole lot more.Joe Fucking Gibbs couldn't manage a Wawa, |
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| Bulger Holds It... Holds It... HOLDS IT! |
| Published: October 22, 2007, 9:06 am |
| Tags: Seriously Marc You Can Throw The Ball Away Sometimes, Homerism, Captain Caveman, Stories Not About Tom Brady The Patriots |
| Hooray, my preferred football squad was victorious on the field of play! |
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| Hey Joe, Suck My Dick |
| Published: October 29, 2007, 12:04 pm |
| Tags: More Monday Homerism, Unsilent Majority, Homerism, Fuck Everything |
| Sweet ass spelunking Jesus, those were not good times. Call me a reactionary but I'm here to call for the head of Coach Joe Gibbs. Some say it's sacrilege to utter such opinions in the District of Columbia, but most certainly realize that this shit has gone on way too long. Dennis Hopper's character from Hoosiers could have done a better job |
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| We Gotta Teach the Children Everyday, Keep a Song. Show Them the Light, Teach Them Right From Wrong. |
| Published: October 29, 2007, 11:11 am |
| Tags: Bad Coaches, Xmas Ape, Children Are Our Future Unless We Stop Them, Cincinnati Bengals, Homerism |
| Though receiving scant attention from the mainstream press, Marvin Lewis yesterday was continuing his mentoring program with Cincinnati-area at-risk youth.Marvin Lewis: Okay, glad you could make out here today, uh...At-risk youth: Terence Hawkins.Marvin Lewis: Terence, right. Okay, I'm gonna let you take over for a bit. We're up 3-0. We stopped |
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| Yinz vs. Hons. WHO YA GOT? |
| Published: November 1, 2007, 3:50 pm |
| Tags: Who Ya Got, Xmas Ape, Baltimore Ravens, Pittsburgh Steelers, Homerism |
| As SBXLI 1/2 occupies all discourse, both rational and Easterbrookian, this week, a few other somewhat compelling matches are getting the short shrift. Among them is a battle for the AFC North in which I have absolutely no emotion invested. No, I don't hate Baltimore at all. I hear it's a wonderful city to get murdered in. 500 some odd people a |
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| Purple Jesus Produces A Second Coming In My Pants |
| Published: November 4, 2007, 6:47 pm |
| Tags: Purple Jesus, Homerism, Sundays Are For Homerism, Badasses, He S Mine I Own Him And All His Subsidiary Rights |
| Reader Gavin B. puts it best:I nominate the following name changes:Adrian Peterson is no longer Purple Jesus, he's just plain old Jesus.Jesus (the "son of God" Jesus) is now to be called "Carpenter Jesus." Make it so.Agreed. I would let this man anally penetrate me, and I would enjoy it. |
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| Kevin Everett Meast Of The Week Week 9 |
| Published: November 7, 2007, 11:26 am |
| Tags: Gay Senators, Big Daddy Drew, Kevin Everett Meast Of The Week, Brady Quinn Never Had It So Good, Homerism, Sexual Frustration, Gay |
| This is old news, but I'd like to talk for a moment about Larry Craig, that one Senator who was busted in the airport for trying to score a quick layover motorboating. I don't give a shit about the politics of Craig's situation. What I care about is the fact that, in order to get laid, all Craig had to do is hop on the Internet, find a good |
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| Horse Balls Dropped |
| Published: November 11, 2007, 5:13 pm |
| Tags: Xmas Ape, Horse Balls, Homerism, Sundays Are For Homerism, Rants, Big Mental Midget |
| That's a nice first half you put up Derek Anderson, with the benefit of a couple of short fields. How did you nurse that 12-point halftime lead? Going three of 12 until the final drive of the game, one-hopping and overthrowing your receivers when the Steelers didn't sack you once? Did the Browns return unit outgain its offense by 50 yards? I think |
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