Today's Fresh Blogs...

• Kids Pray For A Cardboard George Bush

  Published: September 1, 2007, 11:45 pm

  Tags: Bullshit Meister, Sacred Cows

  Some Christian Right lady makes kids engage in a sort of “communication” with probably the only “intelligent” version of Bush available — the one where he’s a cardboard. Tags: George Bush, Christian Right

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• My Ninja Skillz Are Better Than Your Kung Fu

  Published: September 3, 2007, 1:25 am

  Tags: Bullshit Meister

  Have you heard the one about some Japanese ninja beating the living hell out of a bunch of Shaolin Temple kung fu monks? You did? Well, the kung fu monks have read about it, too. And they’re so pissed there’s now a very busy, highly irritated lawyer in Beijing glaring at himself in the bathroom mirror, muttering, “Let’s

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• Nepal's Fun-loving, Goat-Sacrificing Airline Wants You To Know It Only Killed Two Goats

  Published: September 5, 2007, 11:42 am

  Tags: Bullshit Meister, Essential Cruelties

  Officials at Nepal’s state-run airline have sacrificed two goats to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god, following technical problems with one of its Boeing 757 aircraft, the carrier said Tuesday. Nepal Airlines, which has two Boeing aircraft, has had to suspend some services in recent weeks due the problem. The goats were sacrificed in

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• Hurry Before People Who Have Money Buy All These Teenaged Girls!

  Published: September 5, 2007, 11:28 am

  Tags: Bullshit Meister, Filth

  We actually know somebody who exactly has $37,500, so we know he will able to purchase Ashlee, the 15-year-old described as follows: Ashlee is into sports, clothes, jewelry and current pop music. She is a typical teenage girl except that she is impatient to get on with her life, which she sees as having a husband and raising kids. She tells us

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• Paris Hilton Will Be Happy To Do A Girl-on-girl Action for Art

  Published: September 6, 2007, 2:02 am

  Tags: Bullshit Meister, Strange Celebrities

  Good thing Paris Hilton is willing to go to great lengths as a really talented, really awesome actress. For the new musical Prisoner, she’s willing to kiss another girl with the same artistic enthusiasm she had exhibited when she so artistically sucked that guy’s dick years ago. We guess a little applause will be much appreciated.

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• Apple Says Fuck You, Early iPhone Adopters!

  Published: September 6, 2007, 12:40 am

  Tags: Bullshit Meister, Apple

  As recently announced by notoriously lovable Apple CEO Steve Jobs, the 8GB iPhone is now $200 cheaper at $399 (from $599), with the 4GB iPhone a goner. So that early-adopter itch you’re feeling right now? It’s your bleeding ass. Apple today announced that it is on track to sell its one millionth iPhone before the end of

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• Bush Is A Great Teacher.

  Published: September 8, 2007, 11:01 am

  Tags: Bullshit Meister, Folly, Daily Gaggle

  Enough has been said.

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• After Raising Thousands Of Dollars, We Can't Really Buy Your Daughter?

  Published: September 11, 2007, 11:34 pm

  Tags: Bullshit Meister, Random Acts Of Strangeness

  Blame John Ordover for the hilarious prank that was MarryOurDaughter, which for a moment there got our knickers in a twist. Tags: MarryOurDaughter, John Ordover

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• Britney Spears' Knight In Shining Armor

  Published: September 12, 2007, 10:02 am

  Tags: Bullshit Meister, Strange Videos

  Is it strange if right now we’re wishing this dude fucks a chicken so we can stomp on his offspring 21 days in the future? Tags: Britney Spears

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• Have Larger Breasts, Chew The Boobie Chew'

  Published: September 13, 2007, 1:50 am

  Tags: Bullshit Meister, Strange Things To Eat, Strange Commodities

  Ah, the 1980s. An innocent time when surgical boob jobs were apparently not very fashionable, so women chewed the Boobie Chew gum to get bigger hooters. So that’s why those girls were always nibbling like goats in trance in all those crappy 1980s films. Tags: Boobie Chew, breast expansion

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• This Is Acid Perspective, Honey

  Published: September 15, 2007, 10:49 am

  Tags: Bullshit Meister

  [benja] A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:”Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?” [benja] The survey was a huge failure… [benja] In Africa they didn’t know what “food” meant. [benja] In Eastern Europe they

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• Iceland Pulling Out Its Only Soldier In Iraq Makes Everybody Feeling Lonely

  Published: September 15, 2007, 10:35 am

  Tags: Bullshit Meister

  gaping void in the hearts of bullshit-peddlers everywhere. Foreign Minister Ingibj rg S lr n G slad ttir has decided to remove an Icelandic Crisis Response Unit (ICRU) member from a NATO training program for the Iraqi army in Baghdad next month, causing disappointment among NATO leaders. The ICRU member has been working in Baghdad for the

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• Maddison Gabriel: The 13-year-old Face Of Juicy Fashionploitation

  Published: September 15, 2007, 12:05 pm

  Tags: Bullshit Meister

  Maddison Gabriel is hot, and she’s the Face of the tony Gold Coast Fashion Week in Australia. Only problem is, she’s only turning 13 today, and her age makes everyone sweaty about screaming “Asploitation!” Prime Minister John Howard has led a chorus of criticism of the choice of Maddison Gabriel, who turns 13 on Sunday,

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• Dear Baby Jesus, Please Crush This Man's Balls And Feed Them To Hungry Homeless People

  Published: September 21, 2007, 12:04 am

  Tags: Bullshit Meister

  Because he’s just so heartbreakingly adorable he gives us that warm, fuzzy feeling you get when somebody burns your genitals.

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• Finally, Some Glamorous Bitch Sees Through The Festering Piece Of Shit

  Published: September 23, 2007, 11:10 pm

  Tags: Bullshit Meister

  Gabrielle Pauli, Bavaria’s most glamorous politician, wants marriages to legally last only 7 years. “The basic approach is wrong … many marriages last just because people believe they are safe,” she told reporters. “My suggestion is that marriages expire after seven years.” After that time, couples should

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