Today's Fresh Blogs...

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• BULLET BULLET BULLET!! (YESTERDAY!!) YOUR ALL-SEC TEAMS.

  Published: December 6, 2007, 4:03 pm

  Tags: Allons Y Sec

  “Boo” Berry, second team! Eighteen years old and already a beast. If you’ve never seen this kid play, I pray you, DO. He’s going to be an absolute monster in the secondary of a sort Tennessee has not seen in years. –Daniel Lincoln and Britton Colquitt, both second team, continue Tennessee’s habit of

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• WE PROMISE, LAST PETRINO POST

  Published: December 12, 2007, 2:11 pm

  Tags: Coaches The Bcs Scandals Arrests And Other Eccentri, College Football, Southeastern Conference, Allons Y Sec, Bizarro Superman Says You Re Welcome

  what the inside of an SEC fan’s head looks like most of the time, well, this is frighteningly close. Just plug in the appropriate mascot head and coach, and that’s about 45% of the brain activity of any given day. Titties, beer, batter, and rivals.com pretty much soaks up the rest.

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• A BAR SCENE

  Published: December 12, 2007, 12:10 pm

  Tags: Big 10 Conference, Blog Buddies, Coaches The Bcs Scandals Arrests And Other Eccentri, College Football, Ha Ha, Southeastern Conference, Allons Y Sec, And That Is Tough Titties For You, Coaching Coup, Intercourse Hero

  A crowded singles bar in an urban setting. Bobby sits at a bar in a red tube dress, drinking a cosmo and swirling the straw around in his hand. Another! Now! Bobby: BARTENDER! Another Screaming Orgasm over here. Bartender: You’re really pouring it on. Bobby: Fuck it, I’m drunk. And put another one on that old guy’s tab over

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• CURIOUS INDEX, 12/12/07

  Published: December 12, 2007, 9:10 am

  Tags: Big 12 Conference, Blog Buddies, Coaches The Bcs Scandals Arrests And Other Eccentri, College Football, Mid Major Conferences, Southeastern Conference, Allons Y Sec, And That Is Tough Titties For You, Coaching Coup, Person Like People

  stories. And he’s the second Lou Holtz the program has hired. Ed Orgeron has been connected with the open defensive coordinator position at South Carolina, meaning he mailed a fine pelt he caught behind the power plant in Oxford–a beautiful groundhog pelt still fresh with blood–to Steve Spurrier. Spurrier is said to be

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• THE MITCHELL REPORT: AN EARLY PEEK

  Published: December 13, 2007, 11:58 am

  Tags: Blog Buddies, College Football, Allons Y Sec

  covered the Scott Mitchell section, but the Black Mitchell section is loaded with explosive revelations Blake Mitchell: Congress has questions. For example: –Blake Mitchell once sodomized his girlfriend’s DVD player for being “surly.” Being inaccurate, he missed and ended up with his penis caught in a surround-sound

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• 358 MILES

  Published: December 20, 2007, 11:50 am

  Tags: Coaches The Bcs Scandals Arrests And Other Eccentri, College Football, Mid Major Conferences, Southeastern Conference, Allons Y Sec

  more logically speaking, SEC teams can sit on their front porch and watch the money roll in without even getting their shoelaces dirty from hitting the road for longer than a few hours at a time. (And go ahead and anthropomorphize the argument if you want, because you’re illogical and will do it anyway: SEC teams are skurred! They

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• COACHES SHILLING: TUBERVILLE'S GOLDEN GLOBE

  Published: February 19, 2008, 3:02 pm

  Tags: Blog Buddies, Coaches The Bcs Scandals Arrests And Other Eccentri, College Football, Southeastern Conference, Allons Y Sec, Coaches Shilling, Conan Thinks Your Tailgate Is Weak

  and all stereotypes about SEC and Auburn athletes and academics: “When I was recruited at Auburn [university], they took me to a strip joint. When I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements.” Those titties. An area of study no young male college student can fail to appreciate.

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• REMONSTRATION DEMONSTRATION: HOW TO GET THE VOLS IN LINE

  Published: February 27, 2008, 1:01 pm

  Tags: Blog Buddies, Coaches The Bcs Scandals Arrests And Other Eccentri, College Football, Fulmer Cup, Ha Ha, Southeastern Conference, Allons Y Sec, And That Is Tough Titties For You, Bizarro Superman Says You Re Welcome, Coaching Coup, Cromag Football, Drankin, Drunk Whit

  we’ve seen that in the SEC before. Fire him for blackmailing Trace Adkins with incriminating gay sex photos into performing at his daughter’s birthday party. (Unsee that, dear reader, and you have achieved enlightenment. We just typed it, and will not eat for several days.) Fire him for picking up field mice and bopping them on the

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• THE 2007 ALL-SEC Z-TEAM: COLLEGE FOOTBALL'S KEYS TO SURVIVING THE IMPENDING ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE.

  Published: February 27, 2008, 10:15 am

  Tags: All That You Know Is At An End, Allons Y Sec, Bizarro Superman Says You Re Welcome, Blood Blood Blood, I M A Survivor I M Not Gone Give Up, It S Division One Football, Zawmbies

  in impotent rage across the SEC in 2007. You know their stats by heart, lived and died with their triumphs and tears. But in this age of bioweapons and nuclear experiments gone horribly awry, there are more important matters to ponder; namely, how each of these college football notables will aid your survival when the wrong red button is

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• AUBURN ALREADY PRACTICING, THROWING FOOTBALLS LIKE CANDY

  Published: February 25, 2008, 4:55 pm

  Tags: Blog Buddies, Coaches The Bcs Scandals Arrests And Other Eccentri, College Football, Southeastern Conference, Allons Y Sec, It S Spring Again

  Violently emotional: Muschamp. If you’re starved beyond belief and ready to seize without football, you could head down to Auburn and catch spring practice. (What? Opelika’s got an airport. Resisting cow joke telling urge resisting cow joke telling urge.) Auburn’s working in both new offensive coordinator Tony Franklin and

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• FULMER CUPDATE: THE BIG BOARD

  Published: February 25, 2008, 1:20 pm

  Tags: Alabama Man He Can Drink He Can Bowl He Can Drink Some, Big 10 Conference, Big East Conference, Coaches The Bcs Scandals Arrests And Other Eccentri, College Football, Fulmer Cup, Pacific 10 Conference, Southeastern Conference, Alas, Allons Y Sec, Guns R Cool And We

  Brian brings us this week’s Big Board, an active board for those who really, really don’t have time for this shit. Notes, clarifications, and open challenges to fight follow. The biggest leap in the board comes from Oregon State. Do not blame us, blame the authorities who file the charges and insist on playing triple-word-score with

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• CURIOUS INDEX, 3/7/08

  Published: March 7, 2008, 9:27 am

  Tags: Coaches The Bcs Scandals Arrests And Other Eccentri, College Football, Allons Y Sec

  Massive pre-post HT to Dave, who just went haywire with the coffee and RSS reader this morning. Iowa boots James Cleveland and Arvell Nelson from the team following their drug-related arrests last week. Hawkeye State wonders if this is the end of the City Boyz, Inc. era at Iowa, and has this tear-inducing video to help you look back on

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• CURIOUS INDEX, 3/6/2008

  Published: March 6, 2008, 9:31 am

  Tags: Big 10 Conference, Big East Conference, Blog Buddies, Coaches The Bcs Scandals Arrests And Other Eccentri, College Football, Notre Dame, Pacific 10 Conference, Southeastern Conference, Allons Y Sec, Bizarro Superman Says You Re Welcome, Wannstache

  given all that: who in the SEC West remains unterrified at the prospect of Petrino’s offense in two years, once he “begs Casey Dick to stay” by throwing him in a deep fryer and hitting the recruiting trail for a qb? The man has an almost unparalleled knowledge of how to make 18-22 year old defenders look stupid, meaning

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• ELOQUENCE HAS A THOUSAND FORMS

  Published: March 5, 2008, 1:55 pm

  Tags: Blog Buddies, Coaches The Bcs Scandals Arrests And Other Eccentri, College Football, Southeastern Conference, Allons Y Sec

  There’s many, many ways to express how you feel in an eloquent way. You could be a master of the epigram, like Rochefoucauld, for example: Men give away nothing so liberally as their advice. Pithy! Or you could just have an awesome accent and a deep, deep hatred of Tennessee. That’s a form of eloquence too, as this video points out

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• CURIOUS INDEX, 3/5/08

  Published: March 5, 2008, 9:03 am

  Tags: Alabama Man He Can Drink He Can Bowl He Can Drink Some, Atlantic Coast Conference, Big 10 Conference, Blog Buddies, Coaches The Bcs Scandals Arrests And Other Eccentri, College Football, Fndc, Southeastern Conference, Allons Y Sec, Beer, Bizarro Superman Says You R

  LSU defensive monster Ricky Jean-Francois is allegedly related to Kimbo Slice. We mention this only to affirm your already solid suspicion that if he does not cheat on another test and makes it to the playing field this fall, RJF will be takin’ food off lawyas’ plates just like his horrifying alleged relative. Because remember:

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