Today's Fresh Blogs...

• Dream Finally Over For Britney and K-Fed; Nightmare Continues For Their Jointly Neglected Kids

  Published: July 30, 2007, 5:30 pm

  Tags: Defamer Hollywood, 2153, 2821, 1143

  Gentlemen, hide your clippers; ladies, clean out your grease traps: Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are finally legally single. And despite K-Fed's alleged fury that she took the kids to Vegas without permission (why learn boring counting when you can learn to count cards?), the semi-professional sperminator apparently experienced a fit of

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• Britney's Babies Call Out For Help From Supermarket Checkout Aisle

  Published: August 1, 2007, 6:10 pm

  Tags: Defamer Hollywood, 2153, 486

  With the simultaneous release of covers stories trumpeting the plight of Britney Spears' two young sons [Ed.note - Weren't there three at one point? Maybe she left one in the Bellagio on her last trip to Vegas. Pls. research.] in progressive-parenting journals Us Weekly and Life & Style, an air-raid siren has been sounded at the headquarters of

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• Vanity Fair's Tabloid Boys Finally Get The Attention They So Richly Deserve

  Published: August 1, 2007, 5:45 pm

  Tags: Defamer Hollywood, 2153, 2904, 446, 1143, 1360

  Apparently, the upcoming issue of Vanity Fair will feature a piece on that increasingly vital subset of the celebutard population, Guys Who Have Married, Impregnated, Or Serially Copulated With Women Who Possess More Wealth And/Or Fame Than They Do, an expos on the hanger-on lifestyle (one which, in the words of writer Nancy Jo Sales, seems to

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• Breaking News: Britney Spears Might Have A Problem!

  Published: August 2, 2007, 4:45 pm

  Tags: Defamer Hollywood, 2153

  Even though letting your dog befoul a couture dress while you urinate in public and trying to whiten your toddler's teeth are obviously ideal for their famous "Stars! They're Just Like Us!" feature, the concerned folks at Us Weekly have dared to suggest that maybe, just maybe, such behaviour indicates that something might be wrong with Britney

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• Short Ends: Contestant Forgets That Big Brother 8's New 'Intolerance Cam' Is Always Watching

  Published: August 7, 2007, 3:25 pm

  Tags: Defamer Hollywood, 2153, 3045, 446, 3043, 425, 3046

  We'll admit to not watching enough USBig Brother 8 to tell this Amber person from Mike Boogie, but we nonetheless find her unedited thoughts on Jewish people (and her clumsy attempt to uncover the identity of America's Secret Jew, apparently one of the new season's exciting plot twists) quite fascinating. We think a special Tolerance

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• Britney Spears Strikes Again

  Published: August 8, 2007, 6:15 pm

  Tags: Defamer Hollywood, 2153

  The details of Us Weekly's new cover story, MY TWISTED NIGHT WITH BRIT, are so terrible that we can hardly bring ourselves to repeat them here. But repeat them we will: Succumbing once again to the exotic mental disorder that causes the total collapse of her superego and drives her towards the nearest sexually available background performer

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• Britney Spears' Hot Tub Victim Speaks

  Published: August 10, 2007, 9:00 pm

  Tags: Defamer Hollywood, 2153

  Now that enough time has passed following 21-year-old music video extra Matt Salinas's soggy, twisted night of rooftop hot tub captivity, it seems that he's ready to go before the syndicated celebrity newsmagazine cameras - here, he spends some couch time with Access Hollywood's - to share his experience with the world . Yes, the story is

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• Not Everyone Thrilled To Be Involved In Britney Spears Ramming Incidents

  Published: August 13, 2007, 4:45 pm

  Tags: Defamer Hollywood, 2153, 446

  Continuing its award-winning series of segments on recent Britney Spears hit-and-run victims (both sexual and vehicular), Access Hollywood spotlights a CelebTV.com interview with the poor woman whose Mercedes was damaged when Spears decided to show off her parking skills to the throng of paparazzi waiting to assail her on a routine Petco run.

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• Inside K-fed's Baby-Friendly Bachelor Pad

  Published: August 13, 2007, 4:00 pm

  Tags: Defamer Hollywood, 2153, 1143, 2074

  And at the next custody hearing, Federline will also brag to the judge about the childproof lids he installed on each of his bongs, a measure their irresponsible mum has yet to adopt: "'The house is child-proof, except for the recording studio,' Kevin's friend, who visits Kevin and the kids at his home, told 24Sizzler.com Monday afternoon. 'There

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• K-Fed's Lawyers Hoping Key To Custody Lies In Britney Spears' Cousin/Assistant/Enabler

  Published: August 13, 2007, 3:45 pm

  Tags: Defamer Hollywood, 2153, 2163, 1143

  As Britney Spears' and K-Fed's toddlers are reduced to sending desperate S.O.S. notes to celebrity glossies via the carrier pigeons who have become their only friends and lifelines while encased in a chicken-wire prison in their mother's home, their quarrelling parents continue to up the ante in the messy and contentious battle over who'll win

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• Britney's Bodyguard Latest Ambush Victim Of K-Fed Subpoena Spree

  Published: August 14, 2007, 6:30 pm

  Tags: Defamer Hollywood, 2153, 2474, 1143

  In their ongoing efforts to elicit sworn statements from the innermost elements of Britney Spears's entourage, K-Fed's lawyers have now followed up their subpoena of assistant Alli Sims - who for the past two days has been spotted around town waving a pair of tightly clenched fists and insisting to bewildered passersby how she "still hasn't

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• Our Money's On Merv Griffin

  Published: August 15, 2007, 7:15 pm

  Tags: Defamer Hollywood, 2123, 3224, 2153, 1094, 3156, 1012

  With celebrity glossies constantly one-upping each other by trumpeting ever more shocking and outrageous tales of drunken lesbianism and child tooth-whitening abuse on their covers, leave it to supermarket literature stalwart the Globe to trump them all: By simply taking the public's morbid fascination with celebrity misfortune to its natural

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• Britney Spears Can't Even Trust The People She Pays To Raise The Babies

  Published: August 15, 2007, 7:00 pm

  Tags: Defamer Hollywood, 2153

  Though their stranglehold on the best position in the "Britney Spears Is A Bad Mother Literature" section of magazine racks across the nation is unquestioned, Us Weekly's glossy jihad against the baby-fumbling popstar's parenting skills may be losing some intensity if their most shocking follow-up to the classic covers of the last two weeks,

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• Britney Spears: The Last Usable Photo Shoot

  Published: August 16, 2007, 6:30 pm

  Tags: Defamer Hollywood, 2153

  As recently as April 25th, Britney Spears had her shit sufficiently together to complete a cover photo shoot without fondling herself, sharing the magical sounds of her open-door micturition with the crew, or using the day's wardrobe items as impromptu, couture pooper-scoopers, at least according to Allure. In a website gallery of the

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• Short Ends: An End Of Day, All-Lady Linkdump

  Published: August 16, 2007, 3:15 pm

  Tags: Defamer Hollywood, 2153, 2382, 1094, 2555, 425

  Britney Spears: making the world safe for the bisexual experimentation of young women everywhere. Whoopsie! Who put that bad, bad word behind that nice drunk lady's head? Why isn't Mandy Moore more like Lindsay Lohan? The drugs, we'd imagine. This woman is obviously blinded by love: "Brooke Mueller is afraid to let fianc Charlie

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